smartass_captain | Iowa Bros in Space! The Spacening. Starring James T Kirk and Clinton Barton

Fighting with Verity had done something for Jim despite all the vitriolic feeling swimming around his system. It had made him determined to go home. It wasn't as though he couldn't anymore. He knew exactly where the doorway leading back to the Enterprise stood. It was just...making himself open the door. Jim stands in the long hallway lined with doors to other worlds, staring intently at the 'Caution: Radiation risk' etched into the glass of his world's door. Shaking fingers reached for it, to push it open. Retracted.

He couldn't do this. No, bullshit. He was Jim Kirk, he could open a stupid door. Just. Not at the moment. Apparently. Jim shouts a string of fluent Orion curses at the door before stalking back off into the Nexus. To the plain door with the sideways 8 on it that leads to CLint's world. He pulls up a chair and waits. Clint would come sooner or later. He'd ask him to come with. Been meaning to show him around the ship anyway, might as well do it now.

Why couldn't his time have comms anyway? Jim smacks the back of his head against the wall while he waits, idly replaying the argument between himself and Verity in his head. What better way to kill time than to hate yourself?

Current Mood: depressed

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From:

smartass_captain

"Am i any good?" Jim scoffs, then remembers he's talking to goddamn Hawkeye and mayyybe he shouldn't talk more game than he's actually got. He points his glass (mostly empty) Clint's way. "I'm decent, yeah. Used to shark truckers passin' through Iowa when I was bored. Probably not near as good as you though."

Still, he's grinning and its an expression his entire crew would be shouting warnings into Clint's ear if they could see. Captain, no. Captain YES. Jim slams down the rest of his drink.

"Good enough to help you make th'rest of this bar look like kids. I'm in."

Edited Date: 2015-09-15 07:26 pm (UTC)

From:

aw_hawkguy

Clint grins. "So, have they got future-space-money here, or should we bet these guys the losers hafta do embarrassing stuff?"

Clint Barton practically wrote the book on Australian-Rules Billiards (which is to say, he took an existing pool rulebook, tore out the page on scoring, and set the rest on fire). He's also drinking slower than Jim, but pretty good at faking drunker than he is (or performing drunk, if it comes to that).

Of course, he's also a carny, a con, and a sneaky bastard--he's going to let everyone look like they're a better player than him until the bet's interesting, and then he'll get out the A-game.

From:

smartass_captain

"Unless you got a hankerin' to buy the place a round, credits ain't going to do you any good." Jim is rounding on his spicy slow burn of the firetea already. "Let's make fools out of this place."

Impress some locals, maybe trade wisecracks with a couple of tougher looking guys back in the corner. Let Clint show off and flirt a while if he feels like. You knew, show him a good time.

This is Jim's ~~worst~~ best idea yet.

From:

aw_hawkguy

"You could use 'em," Clint points out. But embarrassing bets are fun in their own special way. Finishing off the last of his first drink, Clint ambles over to the not-pool table to offer the players an affable smile. "Hey, guys. What'cha playin'?"

From:

smartass_captain

Ehh. Starfleet takes good enough care of him and Jim doesn't really need credits on a deep space mission. Jim grabs both of their fireteas and follows him over, putting on his best 'friendly hick' smile he can manage and flashing those baby blue eyes.

Win 'em over early enough and they won't suspect a thing.

"Mind if a couple tourists join you fellas?" He exchanges a gesture between himself and Clint. There's an exchange in a language Greek to Clint (Kree but with more chirps but don't tell them) before they size the humans up.

"Any good?" The accent is thick but Jim Bob's his head all the same.

"Alright enough I guess."

From:

aw_hawkguy

"Well, back home I'm a fair hand at pool," Clint drawls, snagging his tea-whatever from Jim and taking a sip. "Now, I'll be honest, fellas, I've never seen this game here before, but hell," he laughs, "I'll try anything once, right?"

Isn't he just a big sucker? Don't you guys wanna roll the drunken tourist with your table-game prowess?

From:

smartass_captain

This is too much. This is so unfair Jim has to take a swig of his drink before he ruins everything by giggling like a lunatic. He gives Clint a clap on the shoulder and takes a seat by the table.

"How you boys wanna play?" Slip the entendre in there, Jim. Bat those eyes. What? One of them doesn't look half bad and he's enjoying this. "Loser buys the next round?"

From:

aw_hawkguy

Clint takes a swig, too, and manages to make his grin look more like a friendly, aw-shucks cornpone expression. "Here, fella, gimme one'a them sticks. Which color do I knock in the holes?"

They must look like the two biggest rubes in the local cluster.

From:

nexus_npcs

One of the ~~doodleboppers~~ Andorians looks Clint over with a predatory smile. "Explaining the rules is thirsty work. You would do well to remember that." He puts a friendly hand on Clint's shoulder to guide him around the table, pointing out the hazards and ways to score with a cue.

While the Andorian is explaining the basic mechanics of the game to Clint, the friendly neighborhood Nausicaan lumbers over to keep an eye on Jim. Just friendly-like. For now. For a Nausicaan. He's got a knife, but surely he doesn't need to mention this fact.

From:

smartass_captain

Hey there Nausican beefcake. Jim raises his glass in greeting before featuring vaguely to the table. Clint is way too good at playing dumb.

"Your friend there looks pretty good at this. I just hope we don't embarrass ourselves." He's still giving that charming grin. "You guys come here often?"

Edited Date: 2015-09-15 11:12 pm (UTC)

From:

aw_hawkguy

"Ya don't say," Clint murmurs. "You'll be swallowin' somethin' soon, I'm sure." Clint doesn't mean to add to the innuendo party, it's just part of that whole "beautiful human disaster" thing he does.

"Okay, I think I got it." Bending down to the table, he'll do his best to make it look like his win was accidental, a result of beginner's luck that surprises him as much as anyone else (oh, he's also trying hard to actually win). He'll save the trick shots for once they've successfully roped these guys in.

((Also? All hail the fancy coding and generous efforts of our NPC player!))

From:

nexus_npcs

((My pleasure, guys. :D))

The Nausicaan isn't so easily impressed with pretty eyes or charming smiles. He grunts in answer, grabbing a drink from a passing waiter so he has something to do while he waits.

The Andorian is encouraging throughout the game, all friendliness. "Well done. You must be a natural born dom-jot player. Allow me to buy you a drink before you play my friend?" The Nausicaan... well, he can't look friendly, but he tries to look a little less intimidating. For now.

From:

smartass_captain

This is a shame. Jim will have to flirt harder at the Andorian instead then. Plus, no offense beefcake, but the Andorian looks a lot better and probably doesn't break ribs when he hugs. Probably.

"Aw, thanks. We'll be returning the favor soon." Jim snorts but accepts another drink before getting up. He's not quite as tall as Clint is, and definitely not as muscular. He's fit, but he's no Avenger-buff. It's kind of hard for regular folks to be, especially in the whole space thing.

Jim is a lot better at keeping the game close, but then again he's no super hero. Also, getting more buzzed by the second. A third of the way in he actually looks like he's losing.

"Why'd I let you go first." Jim sulks in Clint's direction, only chancing a wink after the other two aren't looking their way. "Swear you want me to look like trash, Barton."

((Seriously you are amazing~! <3 ))

Edited Date: 2015-09-16 12:27 am (UTC)

From:

aw_hawkguy

Time to aw-shucks it up; Clint grins at the Andorian's praise. "Aw, naw, I'm sure it's just beginner's luck."

Jim gets a shrug, and a "hey, you were busy makin' time."

Then it's time for a game with the Nausicaan. Clint gives him a (genuinely) nervous smile and a little wave. "Hi, there. You play a lot?"

From:

nexus_npcs

They're starting to draw a crowd. Another Nausicaan comes to watch when the first one moves toward the table, and an Andorian joins the group at the bar, following them over with a drink and a posture that suggests he's there to guard Clint.

"Yes." The Nausicaan downs his drink in one gulp, slams the glass down, and takes his position at the table. He's very good and extremely serious about this. The Andorians take up a position to watch that would make it hard to get to the exit without going through them.

From:

smartass_captain

A less arrogant man than Jim might start to get a bad feeling about this. This isn't the sort of crowd they want to be drawing and no Jim-- not just because those girls in the corner haven't joined said group yet.

That's only a partial shame because at least one of these Andorians is ten kinds of doable. Is Clint into dudes? If not, Jim is calling ten kinds of dibs if the doe eyes he's making are any indication.

He decides at the last minute to wing man for Clint and throw his game just barely. It's a better setup for the glory Hawkeye is about to lay down.

"Aghhh alright, give me another round for all four of us!" Jim hollers toward the bar, grinning stupidly as he laughs. "You stole my beginners luck Barton. You ass." take them out He signs discreetly. "We betting anything other than drinks this round?"

Time to up the ante.

From:

aw_hawkguy

Call him old-fashioned, but Clint's just not that into dudes. "Sorr~rry, Jim. 'S prob'ly all run out by now," Clint replies, slurring his speech a bit. That amiable smile is back at the suggestion of playing for something more. "Hey, yeah, whadda you fellas say? Let's have fun with it, eh?"

He glances to Jim, adding, "what's funny, nowadays?"

From:

nexus_npcs

The Andorian will allow Jim to keep making ridiculous faces, although there's a distinctly confused tilt to his doodleboppers until his friend whispers something to him. Then Jim gets a more appreciative look in answer.

The Nausicaans don't think anything is funny unless it's bleeding, so they have no suggestions. Their talkative new Andorian friend would suggest, "There is an old Earth custom: karaoke."

From:

smartass_captain

Oh hell yes. Jim grins into his drink and chuckles. They want Jim Kirk, Sex on Legs, to sing karaoke? He might just lose on purpose again. They weren't supposed to be doing that, were they? No. They're supposed to kick ten kinds of ass. Watching a Nausican try to sing makes him snort and slosh a bit of his drink down his front.

Aw, booze, no. He stares down at himself and sighs. He should slow down with the alcohol there before he wrecks everything with his smart mouth.

"You're on. Winner picks song. Fuck, if you kick Barton's ass I will get up on the table and strip." Either way, Jim's promised to have a good time.

From:

aw_hawkguy

Is that the sound of a plan unraveling? No, no, it sounds more like it's on fire. The plan is on fire. Dammit, Jim.

"Karaoke, winner picks, and if you win, he strips. No pressure."

There is one small up side to this: Avengers are used to handling themselves in high-pressure situations. He isn't aw-shucksing as much, and there's no trick shots yet, but Clint's definitely playing shrewd and smart (and he's had enough to drink, thanks).

From:

nexus_npcs

The plan is on fire in space and you're surrounded by aliens, Clint. What are you going to do?

We already know what Jim is going to do.

The Andorians are debating about this "stripping" business. Not everything translates easily. The Nausicaans are getting less and less happy the more they realize Clint was trying to pull a fast one on them.

From:

smartass_captain

The plan, she's on fire Captain. She cannae take any more! Too fucking bad, The Plan. Jim Kirk is all over this. And by 'all over this' he means he's going to make things so much worse. And he's not even playing this game.

"C'mon Barton, that's your best move? You sure you're not trying t'make me hafta get up there?" No Jim, stop talking. Stop. Just stop. "I get that you're tryin t'be a bro so I can strip for Princess over there. But I think he can wait till we get outta the bar." Jim. Seriously.

How many drinks has he had? Would that even have changed the outcome of this plan? (The answer is no, but Clint doesn't need to know that, he should have listened to the imaginary crew warning him the moment Jim smiled like that).

"Come on, Hawkeye. Show them your moves." Are you flirting with Clint or 'Princess' anymore?

From:

aw_hawkguy

"Oh, now it's time for moves?" asks a suddenly much-less-drunk, much-less-folksy Clint, straightening up and nudging the Naussicans crowding him to give him some space. "Awright, let's make some moves."

You haven't truly lived, until you've watched Clint Barton and Steve Rogers play a few rounds of pool. There are balls cued so they jump over one another, or with a lateral spin that makes them change direction midway, and that's before discussing the obligatory outside-the-table ricochets. The Clint Barton A-game is a thing of beauty, and it is on.

Hope Naussicans aren't sore losers.

Edited Date: 2015-09-16 03:16 am (UTC)

From:

nexus_npcs

Nausicaans aren't sore losers. They are the SOREST losers. The better Clint does, the more unhappy noises they're making. They're so unhappy one of them is glaring at Jim now.

The Andorians are starting to catch on to the fact that something is going very wrong here. This hustle isn't turning out the way they were expecting and Jim is just confusing them.

So basically nobody's happy, except those ladies around the corner who are anticipating a brawl.

From:

smartass_captain

Honestly, this is poetry in motion. Jim actually moves out of the way so said ladies in the corner can see some of the magic he is making that table do. Clint is doing so well that Jim has shut up completely. He just has no words that can make this moment any more amazing than it already is.

Until he picks out a few swears in Andorian he knows he didn't utter breathlessly through his gaping craw. His would have been reverent and slightly aroused. These just sound angry.

Aw, plan, no. Jim licks at his bottom lip and sighs, finishing his last drink in one solid slam. Might as well enjoy it now, because he's pretty sure this is gonna get physical in a few.

Philistines.

They should be worshiping Barton's feet instead of getting mad. How do you get angry at this?! It's beautiful.