Iowa Bros in Space! The Spacening. Starring James T Kirk and Clinton Barton

[smartass_captain]

Fighting with Verity had done something for Jim despite all the vitriolic feeling swimming around his system. It had made him determined to go home. It wasn't as though he couldn't anymore. He knew exactly where the doorway leading back to the Enterprise stood. It was just...making himself open the door. Jim stands in the long hallway lined with doors to other worlds, staring intently at the 'Caution: Radiation risk' etched into the glass of his world's door. Shaking fingers reached for it, to push it open. Retracted.

He couldn't do this. No, bullshit. He was Jim Kirk, he could open a stupid door. Just. Not at the moment. Apparently. Jim shouts a string of fluent Orion curses at the door before stalking back off into the Nexus. To the plain door with the sideways 8 on it that leads to CLint's world. He pulls up a chair and waits. Clint would come sooner or later. He'd ask him to come with. Been meaning to show him around the ship anyway, might as well do it now.

Why couldn't his time have comms anyway? Jim smacks the back of his head against the wall while he waits, idly replaying the argument between himself and Verity in his head. What better way to kill time than to hate yourself?

Comments

[aw_hawkguy]

Clint keeps a lookout for pursuit while Jim catches up, groaning, "man, I gotta get better at goin' to bars without wreckin' 'em up. They're gonna put me on a list or somethin'."

They need to start a 'dont tell Verity about this' list

[smartass_captain]

"What they don't know won't hurt 'em. And we're not telling anyone about this." Jim clutches the bottle of bourbon close to him as he hears affirmation from the ensign. Everything starts to get all glowy and weird for Clint again before they blip out of existence for a second...


...and are back on the transport platform aboard the Enterprise a moment later. Jim sinks to his knees, comm held loosely in his other hand, and laughs.

"That....wasn't exactly how I intended this to go, Barton."

((Speaking of, thank you so so much for letting us brawl like children with gratuitous easter eggs and references! You're the best))

[aw_hawkguy]

((Yes, thank you, that was silly and fun!))

"You mean you had a plan?"

[smartass_captain]

"Several, over the course of the evening. That wasn't any of them." Jim sighs and wiped the blood from his lip.

"You're not human. Can't be. No one is that good at pool." Jim shakes his head. Yes, that is what he's latched on to. "Those ladies at the bar should have been all over you."

He didn't even hear the ensign all but trip over himself as he left the transport room.

[aw_hawkguy]

"Man, it's just practice," Clint assures him, giving the ensign a wave on the way out. "If you spent that much time on it, you'd be that good, too." He pauses a beat, then adds, "and you'd have no social life. We should probably get you bandaged up, huh?"

Yeah, Clint, say that like you're not pretty well battered, yourself. On top of your fresh burns from the demon thing!

[smartass_captain]

"We have got to stop meeting like this." Jim snorts but hauls himself up all the same. "Or you've got to help me train a bunch so I stop looking like a chump when we fight together."

He likes that idea better. Clint isn't always telling him his plans are dumb or that he's an idiot (and look where that support keeps getting him).

"Believe it or not, all I had planned up until you had to go Dom-jot God was to take in the sights, knock back a few drinks, and see what happened after that."

[aw_hawkguy]

Clint's got an arm, or a set of shoulders, Jim can lean on if need be, but the captain's going to have to navigate--Clint doesn't know where the bandages are on the Enterprise. "Yeah, we could work out. I could take ya down to Luke's gym, maybe. Or running with Verity, if she's cool with it. She's got this scary-intense personal trainer, though, I gotta warn ya."

[smartass_captain]

Jim's fine walkg on his own. This may be residual alcohol talking, or the fact that he's on his own ship and has to save face.

The plan is go go back to Jim's quarters, get patched up, and slip out before there is any more trouble. Then why the bourbon bribe? Because Jim's plans have not been going well tonight.

"Dammit Jim!"

Case in point. Jim finches.

"Hey Bones." The gentleman with the angry southern drawl is not happy to see him. Either of them.

[aw_hawkguy]

"Heeeey," Clint echoes, "Bones? Hi. I don't think we've met."

[smartass_captain]

"Oh, yeah. Bones this is--"

'Bones' waves a hand dismissively and grabs Jim by the shoulder hard enough to bruise.

"I don't give a rat's ass about your booty call kid." He rounds on Clint next.

"And don't think you're getting out of this either, kid. Both of you. Medical. Now."

Well, bandages are in medical and Jim's heading that way whether he likes it or not. Might as well tag along before you get drug too, Clint.

[aw_hawkguy]

"Booty call?! Hey, I think you got the wrong idea," Clint protests. But "Medical" sounds like the place to get bandages and stuff, and he figures he can look after himself pretty well while Jim's getting fussed over.

[smartass_captain]

"Aww, Bones! He's not--"

"You stay quiet."

"But--but..what he said!" Jim tries to free himself from his CMO's ironclad grip and only gets a hypo in the neck for his trouble. "Damn it! What--?!"

"Electrolytes and stabilizers. I can smell the liquor off you from here. Now shut up." Leonard McCoy does not put up with Jim's antics very well. This is probably for the best, considering how many times he's been hurt since Clint and he met.

"You, Scruffy. Sit. Nurse Chapel, take him while I deal with our infant Captain."

"Don't call me an infant in front of--" Hypo'd. "DAMN IT!"

"You want another?"

You know, Clint. Being treated by the nice nurse with the severe bun is looking way better as far as options go. Or even Verity. This guy is pissed.

[aw_hawkguy]

"So, I take it this happens a lot?" Clint asks the nurse, quietly, enjoying the Jim and Bones show. Since that's apparently a treatment option at this place, he'll keep relatively quiet and behave himself, for now.

Admittedly, the medical history implied just by the injuries he has right now is morbidly impressive.

[smartass_captain]

"More often than Leonard would like." Nurse Chapel doesn't seem at all phased by this. She's bringing over a tricorder and waving it over Clint's injuries. It makes this little humming noise.

"You want to tell me what the hell you were doing off the damn ship without logging anything? Or why Spock comm'd me telling me you had a goddamn stranger on the ship without notice?!"

"He's a friend, Bones. Just. It's kind of hard to explain--"

"You better start explaining real fast, kid." Jim is getting treated while all of this is going on. Some sort of thing is on his face healing up that split lip like it never happened. Neat.

In fact, nurse Chapel comes back with a very similar device.

"Lift your shirt, sir. I'm going to treat your injuries."

[aw_hawkguy]

Clint lifts off his shirt (revealing bandages, lots of bandages, with burns under them--char-broiled Hawkeye, the purple plate special). "Yeah, I'll bet. I never heard of a doctor who liked their patients getting hurt at all."

[smartass_captain]

This does earn him a raised eyebrow and a deep frown. The bandages are going to be removed delicately but quickly.

"Doctor McCoy? You're going to want to see this..."

The nurse switches biobeds so she can continue trending to Jim's injuries, despite grumbling from Bones add he storms over. The good doctor didn't like other people looking over the captain, apparently. Or he's just always this gruff. Or both.

"My God man! Are you trying to get an infection? Sit up. Jim what the hell were the two of you doing?!"

Bones grabs a hypo and a few devices. It's about as pleasant as it looked like Jim felt. Which is to say not.

"Bunch of damn fools."

[aw_hawkguy]

"Well, I had bandages," Clint points out. "From a hospital, even. This's just, y'know, part of the job."

Doctors hate it when Clint's blase about his injuries. It's his payback for needles and aw, what the hell was that?

[smartass_captain]

"Sucks, doesn't it?" You have Jim's sympathies, Clint. At least Bones was gentler to him than he is to the Captain.

"You shut up, Jim." All it takes for the blonde to sit back and let Christine look him over. McCoy's game is strong.

"What kinda backwater planet hospital just slaps a bandage on a man and sends him to fucking space, full of disease and death with open goddamn wounds." He's not lecturing Clint anymore, just grumbling to himself while devices are being waved over his injuries and thankfully, no more hypos are getting injected into his neck.

McCoy falls silent, frowns. Looks back at Clint.

"Where are you from, kid? You've got..." He rounds on Jim. "Mind telling me why the sporting young man with the gaping burn wounds has antibodies for diseases we ain't seen in two hundred years, Jim?"

"...Uh..."

They are so busted.

[aw_hawkguy]

Okay, this looks bad.

"Wouldja believe... Iowa?" Clint offers hopefully.

[nexus_npcs]

((My pleasure! I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. :D

Verity is so finding out because she's waiting for them both to get back to the Nexus. She has presents and disappointment for everyone, like the worst secret Santa ever.))

[bestdadinamestris]

((I just need to put out there how much I adore all of you and that this reference-filled fight fest has brought me much joy.

Also, Jim, you asshole. Put those apples away.))

[nexus_npcs]

((I'm glad everyone's enjoying the show! The Iowa Bros Hour is better than ANYTHING on t.v. right now.))

[bestdadinamestris]

((I don't TV, so this is definitely a good thing to help occupy my mind while I take breaks between adult-ing activities. XD))

[aw_hawkguy]

((I can barely be said to adult, so this is fun while I take time between my dwarves were-giraffing the hell out of each other.))

[smartass_captain]

I will never put this icon away. Asshole or no.