smartass_captain | Iowa Bros in Space! The Spacening. Starring James T Kirk and Clinton Barton

Fighting with Verity had done something for Jim despite all the vitriolic feeling swimming around his system. It had made him determined to go home. It wasn't as though he couldn't anymore. He knew exactly where the doorway leading back to the Enterprise stood. It was just...making himself open the door. Jim stands in the long hallway lined with doors to other worlds, staring intently at the 'Caution: Radiation risk' etched into the glass of his world's door. Shaking fingers reached for it, to push it open. Retracted.

He couldn't do this. No, bullshit. He was Jim Kirk, he could open a stupid door. Just. Not at the moment. Apparently. Jim shouts a string of fluent Orion curses at the door before stalking back off into the Nexus. To the plain door with the sideways 8 on it that leads to CLint's world. He pulls up a chair and waits. Clint would come sooner or later. He'd ask him to come with. Been meaning to show him around the ship anyway, might as well do it now.

Why couldn't his time have comms anyway? Jim smacks the back of his head against the wall while he waits, idly replaying the argument between himself and Verity in his head. What better way to kill time than to hate yourself?

Current Mood: depressed

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From:

smartass_captain

A less arrogant man than Jim might start to get a bad feeling about this. This isn't the sort of crowd they want to be drawing and no Jim-- not just because those girls in the corner haven't joined said group yet.

That's only a partial shame because at least one of these Andorians is ten kinds of doable. Is Clint into dudes? If not, Jim is calling ten kinds of dibs if the doe eyes he's making are any indication.

He decides at the last minute to wing man for Clint and throw his game just barely. It's a better setup for the glory Hawkeye is about to lay down.

"Aghhh alright, give me another round for all four of us!" Jim hollers toward the bar, grinning stupidly as he laughs. "You stole my beginners luck Barton. You ass." take them out He signs discreetly. "We betting anything other than drinks this round?"

Time to up the ante.

From:

aw_hawkguy

Call him old-fashioned, but Clint's just not that into dudes. "Sorr~rry, Jim. 'S prob'ly all run out by now," Clint replies, slurring his speech a bit. That amiable smile is back at the suggestion of playing for something more. "Hey, yeah, whadda you fellas say? Let's have fun with it, eh?"

He glances to Jim, adding, "what's funny, nowadays?"

From:

nexus_npcs

The Andorian will allow Jim to keep making ridiculous faces, although there's a distinctly confused tilt to his doodleboppers until his friend whispers something to him. Then Jim gets a more appreciative look in answer.

The Nausicaans don't think anything is funny unless it's bleeding, so they have no suggestions. Their talkative new Andorian friend would suggest, "There is an old Earth custom: karaoke."

From:

smartass_captain

Oh hell yes. Jim grins into his drink and chuckles. They want Jim Kirk, Sex on Legs, to sing karaoke? He might just lose on purpose again. They weren't supposed to be doing that, were they? No. They're supposed to kick ten kinds of ass. Watching a Nausican try to sing makes him snort and slosh a bit of his drink down his front.

Aw, booze, no. He stares down at himself and sighs. He should slow down with the alcohol there before he wrecks everything with his smart mouth.

"You're on. Winner picks song. Fuck, if you kick Barton's ass I will get up on the table and strip." Either way, Jim's promised to have a good time.

From:

aw_hawkguy

Is that the sound of a plan unraveling? No, no, it sounds more like it's on fire. The plan is on fire. Dammit, Jim.

"Karaoke, winner picks, and if you win, he strips. No pressure."

There is one small up side to this: Avengers are used to handling themselves in high-pressure situations. He isn't aw-shucksing as much, and there's no trick shots yet, but Clint's definitely playing shrewd and smart (and he's had enough to drink, thanks).

From:

nexus_npcs

The plan is on fire in space and you're surrounded by aliens, Clint. What are you going to do?

We already know what Jim is going to do.

The Andorians are debating about this "stripping" business. Not everything translates easily. The Nausicaans are getting less and less happy the more they realize Clint was trying to pull a fast one on them.

From:

smartass_captain

The plan, she's on fire Captain. She cannae take any more! Too fucking bad, The Plan. Jim Kirk is all over this. And by 'all over this' he means he's going to make things so much worse. And he's not even playing this game.

"C'mon Barton, that's your best move? You sure you're not trying t'make me hafta get up there?" No Jim, stop talking. Stop. Just stop. "I get that you're tryin t'be a bro so I can strip for Princess over there. But I think he can wait till we get outta the bar." Jim. Seriously.

How many drinks has he had? Would that even have changed the outcome of this plan? (The answer is no, but Clint doesn't need to know that, he should have listened to the imaginary crew warning him the moment Jim smiled like that).

"Come on, Hawkeye. Show them your moves." Are you flirting with Clint or 'Princess' anymore?

From:

aw_hawkguy

"Oh, now it's time for moves?" asks a suddenly much-less-drunk, much-less-folksy Clint, straightening up and nudging the Naussicans crowding him to give him some space. "Awright, let's make some moves."

You haven't truly lived, until you've watched Clint Barton and Steve Rogers play a few rounds of pool. There are balls cued so they jump over one another, or with a lateral spin that makes them change direction midway, and that's before discussing the obligatory outside-the-table ricochets. The Clint Barton A-game is a thing of beauty, and it is on.

Hope Naussicans aren't sore losers.

Edited Date: 2015-09-16 03:16 am (UTC)

From:

nexus_npcs

Nausicaans aren't sore losers. They are the SOREST losers. The better Clint does, the more unhappy noises they're making. They're so unhappy one of them is glaring at Jim now.

The Andorians are starting to catch on to the fact that something is going very wrong here. This hustle isn't turning out the way they were expecting and Jim is just confusing them.

So basically nobody's happy, except those ladies around the corner who are anticipating a brawl.

From:

smartass_captain

Honestly, this is poetry in motion. Jim actually moves out of the way so said ladies in the corner can see some of the magic he is making that table do. Clint is doing so well that Jim has shut up completely. He just has no words that can make this moment any more amazing than it already is.

Until he picks out a few swears in Andorian he knows he didn't utter breathlessly through his gaping craw. His would have been reverent and slightly aroused. These just sound angry.

Aw, plan, no. Jim licks at his bottom lip and sighs, finishing his last drink in one solid slam. Might as well enjoy it now, because he's pretty sure this is gonna get physical in a few.

Philistines.

They should be worshiping Barton's feet instead of getting mad. How do you get angry at this?! It's beautiful.

From:

aw_hawkguy

Clint straightens up from his last shot with an easy, confident smile--and yeah, a little bit of the old down-home charm. "I'm pretty sure that's game. It was nice havin' you fellas as an audience, I gotta say." Okay, maybe the charm is subjective. "So, karaoke, huh?"

He's keeping the dom jot cue loose in one hand, in case trouble starts.

From:

nexus_npcs

That's the game all right. Time to play a new one.

The Nausicaans go first: the one with the knife decides it's time to bring that out for introductions, preferably to Clint's soft and tender bits. The other one grabs a second cue and aims for Clint's dumb head.

The Andorians don't have such high initiative scores, but what they lack in sheer pig-headedness they make up for with ~~doodleboppers~~ finesse. "It is such a shame," the one Jim's been making eyes at remarks as they close in on him, "that you and your friend have had such a bad time tonight."

From:

smartass_captain

"Aw, man." They had to go and try to fight Clint. Jim shakes his head. Princess gets a bit of an apologetic look and shrug of Jim's shoulders. "Gonna have to put a rain check on that strip show."

He looks like he's about to bolt. Until he kicks the table over at them and jumps on the back of the second Nausicaan to try and throttle him with his own cue stick.

"Settle. Down! We didn't even pick your song yet!" Yes, yes Jim is still enjoying this, playing rodeo on the back of an angry alien in a dive bar.

From:

aw_hawkguy

"Aw, man, I coulda showed you guys a magic trick." Because Clint sure doesn't know how to deal with knives. He steps back from the first couple swipes, before darting in to catch the Nausicaan's (thank you) wrist, throwing a quick jab at its jaw as he tries to pin the knife hand on the dom jot table. "But no, now I gotta knock your dumb self out. I hope they don't have concussions in space."

From:

nexus_npcs

Punching a Nausicaan in the face is a bad idea. Let's just get that on the table right now. It an go next to the knife, which yes, has been dropped. That doesn't make the fella any happier. How's Clint's shirt going to hold up to being used as a handle to pick him up and throw him across the dom-jot table?

Jim, meanwhile. Oh Jim. There are safer ways to have a good time, and all those bruises are not going to be sexy tomorrow. When he can't be shaken off, the Nausicaan decides to put Jim through a table with the Nausicaan on top for good measure.

Between the table-tossing and the Nausicaan rodeo, the Andorians are going to wait this round out.

From:

smartass_captain

Lies. Jim Kirk would be sexy if his legs were on the other side of the room. It's just harder to pull off.

There's a decidedly country sort of whooping laugh Jim gives right up until the moment when he's screaming expletives and gasping for air. That...could have gone better.

Okay. Ow. Jim fumbles around, grabbing on a splintered piece of wood and jamming it toward the first not-plated thing he can see.

Edited Date: 2015-09-16 05:04 am (UTC)

From:

aw_hawkguy

Clint goes over the table with an exclamation of surprise, but he's on his feet again in a moment, and he brought some colorful dom jot balls with him--juggling, while the table is between him and his assailant. "It's not too late for that magic trick, ya know. Or juggling, you like juggling?"

He chuckles. "Can you believe there's a whole team'a guys who do juggling-related crimes?"

From:

nexus_npcs

That's a good plan, Jim. The first non-plated thing Jim sees is definitely vulnerable to the attack, but unfortunately, is Bar Patron Alien #17 who is not appearing in this icon set. He'd been trying to close a deal with the other people sitting at that table Jim just got put through, and now all three of them are jumping into the fight.

They're not on Jim's side.

Clint's attempt at distraction might work back home, but Nausicaans aren't easily distracted, and those Andorians he forgot about sense an opening. How well can he juggle while being punched in the face?

Meanwhile there's an offshoot of the fight starting on the other side of the room while some people decide it's a great chance to blow off some steam and settle some debts.

Good job, boys.

From:

smartass_captain

"Aw come on!" Jim rolls to the side, trying to dodge the onslaught of broken bottles and kicks being peppered on top of him. Where the hell did that other Nausicaan even go? Where was Clint, for that matter?

Oh hell, the big guy just about shattered Jim's ribs with one swift stomp. That..that can't happen again. Jim coughs heavily and lashes out, kicking at the alien's knees in a desperate attempt to throw it off balance. He does not expect it to cry out and fall on top of him.

"Aw come on!"

Upside? He's somewhat hidden from view for the moment.

From:

aw_hawkguy

Like most people, Clint Barton cannot juggle while being punched in the face. Clint is better than most, however, at taking a punch and giving it back. While he's dropped the dom jot balls without getting to throw one at anyone, he can't help but notice that these not-Kree guys come with really convenient handholds on their heads. Coming back from the reel that first punch sent him on, he grabs hold of one and punches the face under it.

"Doesn't anyone appreciate a good show?"

From:

nexus_npcs

Nobody appreciates a man who brings juggling to a bar brawl, Clint. Nobody.

But be of good cheer! Since Jim's hidden under a couple of aliens, he's no longer absorbing most of the blows being rained down in his direction. Bad news is, he's got two angry aliens wrestling on top of him now and not in the fun way.

Also good news! Those doodleboppers are fucking sensitive and the Andorian does not appreciate having one grabbed like that. Bad news is, he and his friend are really pissed off that Jim's strip tease has been canceled and they're taking it out on Clint.

There's a great deal of debris flying around from the other parts of the fight as well, and the occasional body.

From:

smartass_captain

Jim would think it's funny. But Jim is inconveniently being used as a wrestling mat and sadly unable to enjoy said show. There's a grunt of pain as he frees a leg and kicks the smaller of said wrestling aliens into the other, sending them decidedly off of him. Let them sort it out. He's got a fight to finish.

The room is kind of spinning and the lights are leaving this really cool after affect and that is probably not a good sign. Abandoned cue is a good omen and is scooped up readily.

"I'm sorry Princess." Jim claps the not-grabbed Andorian and whirls him around, bringing the stick around and across his blue face hard enough to send knock him on his ass. Oh. Shit. There's the other Nausicaan. Jim barely registers this before he is tackled.

"Barton!" Jim yells out above the clamor. "You know how I said 'you don't need the bow'? Next time remind me of this!" Because being clever takes precedence to asking for help.

From:

aw_hawkguy

"Next time, I pick the bar," Clint calls back, shoving his doodlebopper-kree toward that other melee and turning to help Jim. Scooping up one of the dom jot balls, he pitches for the Nausicaan's ear and follows it up with a diving tackle.

From:

nexus_npcs

The wrestling will continue in the remains of the table Jim is vacating. It's very much a spectator sport and those ladies around the corner are finally interested. Yay Jim?

One Andorian is on his ass with a broken nose, the other got shoved into the wrestling match. Now would be a good time to make an escape oh look now everybody's getting tackled. The Nausicaan is thrilled. It's like Christmas and his birthday all at once. It's like sex and chocolate at the same time. It's... likely to come with a really large bill from the bar's owner because there goes the dom-jot table. And now there's balls rolling across the floor to add to the fun.

Let's get some banana peels up in here.

From:

smartass_captain

The ladies are watching and Jim's not able to appreciate it? This. Means. War.

When JIm idly toyed with the idea of someone being on top of him tonight it did not in any way include a drunk blood crazy humanoid trying to choke the life out of him with Clint goddamned Barton on top of the pile slamming a dom jot ball into said humanoid's head repeatedly.

There's actually not a whole lot JIm can do from this position until that grip lessens in any way. And the moment Clint's distraction/blunt force trauma does work, Jim's going to headbutt this asshole in the fucking face.