It's been a Long Night [Body Swap LOL, for Ixis]

[smartass_captain]

It's well past two am by the time Jim and Verity make it back to the tower. They're both tired and Jim's already had a mug of that dream-free tea Viatorus was kind enough to provide for him during his meet up with Schon earlier.

He'll awkwardly give Verity a hug before waving her off to bed and heading back to the couch to try and get some semblance of sleep, if only to make it tomorrow all the quicker.

Jim is not expecting to see his body perched on the end of the couch, looming at him in the darkness.

"Okay, what the fuck now??"

Comments

[ixis]

"Uma was a warrior. A great daughter of the Bride of the Endless Reach, hailing from the distant Dragon Kingdom. Her skill in combat was unmatched, her stealth masterful. She was clever, quick, strong and wise."

His frown deepens. "She'd just sickened and died. Grew weaker and weaker and finally perished. A grossly unfit death for someone as great as she. And I'd only learned of this ages after the fact. I'd hoped she'd made it back to the Dragon Kingdom, considering her and my contract completed. To resume serving her leader and consulting that daft Web of Fate. To have been told otherwise...And that knowledge along with the fact I had impotently failed her children and watched the life drain from them in the doctor's machinations..."

Both hands curl slowly into fists.

[smartass_captain]

"Fucking hurts, doesn't it?" Is..is that sympathy in Jim's voice?

"That's why you don't get close enough to anyone to let their inevitable death or abandonment hurt." Sort of sounds like Jim's talking more about himself then ixis, despite pronoun of choice here.

"...Every single time I lose a crew member, I feel the same way." Jim says finally, staring vacantly up at the ceiling. "Bones says it's unhealthy to blame myself. But I'm their Captain. They're trusting me to see them through. Even...when it's not my fault, it's my fault."

[ixis]

"The rest can burn. Uma and her Arachne, her children, were all that should have been spared such indignities. If she were to die, it should have been in battle. Weapons in her hands and on her feet. Not rotting and melting inside, crippled and helpless. Dying in the dirt. And the Arachne..."

While Jim is enjoying the more subdued instincts of Naugus' body, the wizard is left with the high-key brain chemicals of the captain's. His fingers pick anxiously at the threads of his trousers' knees.

"The life drained from them to fuel the doctor's machines. They were loyal. Unflinchingly loyal. Carrying out my wishes in memory of their mother. And I watched it happen until I no longer had the sense to understand what I was seeing. I was jailed same as they were, but I lost worse than my life."

He shakes his head, looking aside with a deep and frustrated frown. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. Other than me just realizing more and more I've indeed failed the Arachnis line."

[smartass_captain]

"Lose your mind?" Jim's been there, too. Not quite as literally as Naugus, but well. He was only a child then. "Tortured? Raped? Starved?" Abused?" Beat. Jim actually laughs. it's bitter. "Been there, done that. Not at the same time, but."

It's so much easier to talk about this in this body. With Naugus. The idea of verity overhearing fills him with shame. But hell, she hasn't come back yet. I'ts probably fine.

"Probably the same reason i'm telling you." He glances over to his own body, one side of his mouth twitching into a lopsided smirk. "Neither one of us cares what the other thinks. No reason to feel ashamed."

[ixis]

He grimaces at the list of potential indecencies and humiliations. "The only being I ever thought to call my superior turned on me. Harnessed my very soul and mind to protect himself from the draining effects of our jail cell. Used its energies to craft a shield for himself. I was a living battery, just like the Arachne, only I was kept alive and I was being used by a different madman. And of course, even when something provisioned our escape, it did not end there."

He waves vaguely, thinking back on that list. "Like you said."

Then Naugus looks back sharply at Jim and beats a fist against one knee. "And even when I was briefly imprisoned by another, a faction who considered themselves champions of justice? What did they do? Repair me? Restore me? No! Instead, they stuck me in a cell and left me there! And did nothing to keep the so-called mastermind who debased me taking me with him when he staged his breakout of this fresh prison! Pah! How is that justice?! How is that fair?!"

Though Jim's a little off the mark as to why this is being shared. He's still got too much pride. Far, FAR too much pride to fully admit what the circumstances of the treachery enacted on him. Never give anyone ammunition against you. Assume all will betray you, just like Mogul did. That's just the Ixian way, after all.

[smartass_captain]

If Ixis ever told Verity this Jim would throw him out of the tower window. Possibly in a tackle, taking himself with him so he never had to see the look of horror or pity on her face.

It's occurred to him vaguely that Naugus could throw this in his face later. He's certainly petty enough to. But you don't joke about torture. Any kind. He hopes there's enough honor in the magi for that. Besides....it's not something he can hide forever. Verity keeps asking questions. Keeps insisting he talk to people. maybe he's hoping Naugus will be the one to blurt it out in public, so he doesn't have to.

"It's not." Jim says quietly. "Life never is. Fair, I mean."

[ixis]

"Of course not. I'd let my guard down. Had he not proven to be the founder of my caste, I would have never thrown in my lot with that loathsome beast. A mistake that will never happen again. Mark my words, boy; serve no being! None but yourself! Call no one your superior!"

Earnest Naugus advice, given with a stern tone and pointed finger. STERNLY.

[smartass_captain]

"The only man I called my superior is dead." Jim mumbles quietly. Thinking of Pike and the other captains being attacked by Khan makes Jim shudder, even in Naugus' skin. He never wants to see that face again.

"You let Verity live here. Isn't that trust?"

[ixis]

"...I suppose. Yes. I trust her. And more to the point, I also don't feel any threat from her. Other than being pinned uncomfortably close to the truth in her presence, of course." Naugus is a guy who values his lies and double-speak. That's something that'll never change, no matter how much time he spends around Verity.

"But to serve another? Never again. I served the kings of Acorn, yes, but with the clear understanding between us that I was master of all matters that concerned me. I was an authority. But that too was ages ago. Decades upon decades. Things have changed."

[smartass_captain]

"Yyyep." He pops the 'p' sound at the comment about not being able to lie around Verity. Jim, too, has lived most of his life shielded by them. Especially around those he cares for.

The truth would just ruin everything.

"I serve the Federation, but so long as everything goes well, I'm more or less left to my own devices. And I'm in command of my ship. I don't answer to anyone directly." not entirely true, but true enough as Jim sees it. He doesn't even trust the Federation completely anymore.

"...I guess we're not total opposites." He's just a petty dickhead. Come on Jim. Well, at least he didn't say it out loud this time. "Problems with authority, letting folks down, getting fucked over by life in general..."

[ixis]

"Both stunningly gorgeous to our respective species," he adds with a snicker. Good thing Verity's in bed because boy is THAT a whopper.

[smartass_captain]

"Sure...why not." Jim actually smiles at that. guess it's not all death and torture talk for the two of them.

"i'm still kinda mad that you didn't ask me before you took a shears to my body, but it coulda been worse." A pause. "maybe Felix'll like it either way." Shrug. Speaking of though..

"Guessing there's still no progress on fixing this though, huh."

[ixis]

"In my continued defense, I was convinced it was something perverted. It's no sensible place to maintain hair of any kind! Especially since it DOES lend the illusion of being maintained." Humans and their weird, singular patches of fuzz in arbitrary places.

"As far as progress of undoing this, none, I'm afraid. Especially now with the increasing suspicion this spell is cast with the use of psyonics. A realm of magic I have no experience in." A sigh before he remembers, oh yeah, there's that beer Jim handed him. He takes a slurp of that.

[smartass_captain]

"Well, fuck." Yeah, that about sums up the feelings toward this entire swap. One big mess.

"...I'm surprised perverted jumped to the front of your mind." Actually. He sits up straight again. "Actually, no, I'm not. Because I haven't been horny once like this whole time. That's...actually also unsurprising given the circumstances. But I'd have thought at least seeing Felix would have been distracting."

Suspicion is growing.

"...Jesus fucking christ on a cracker, did I leave my libido in my body? Are you okay?" And more importantly, has he stayed away from Felix since >:(

[ixis]

"How insulting. In a body as magnificent as mine and you feel nothing? Have you properly LOOKED at me?" Well, maybe not the face. Everything below the beard, maybe.

There's a long pause at the question. Long enough that it might start to feel like it was TOO weird to ask.

"...I can only conjure so much ice and cold water in this body. Your libido and physical responses to the slightest sexual notion or sight are ABSURD. I can get NOTHING DONE. How do you even EXIST like this."

[smartass_captain]

"Okay, I'm gonna level with you. Impressed? Yes. I don't have the genetics for pecs like yours. Or abs. Or really anything in the torso area. I'm at the gym damn near every day, but there's only so much a guy can do. Horny? No. Not in the least. And even around Felix, I was too busy shitting bricks at the idea of you and him canoodling to really think too hard about it."

Jim winces. It's gonna suck when he gets his body back.

"I've got a lot of love to give, what can I say?" Jim shrugs. "I'm not gonna help you with that problem, but you're free to do what you need to. You gave me permission to run out with Felix, I suppose I should give you permission to at least jack it. Not in front of me, please. And also probably not on Verity's furniture or she'll kill us both."

[ixis]

"I will admit I was severely confused when Felix snuggled up to me. I'd forgotten I was you and was frantically trying to think of a way to gracefully let down someone so young and who admires me as one mage to another. I was trying to also figure out where in our shared misadventures he'd taken a such a sharp turn towards me. So no, it was all a relief when I realized I wasn't the ACTUAL target of that whole exchange."

And then there's all that advice. Naugus scoffs.

"You act like I'm a total beast. I know HOW to and I know WHERE to. Vale's bones, boy. It's just severely disconcerting to have to do it to parts I don't own. Also, good thing I have permission NOW, because I can safely retroactively apply it to the million times it's become a necessity already. Again: how do you function."

[smartass_captain]

"Well excuse me for trying to be a dude about this. Christ. A simple 'too late' would have sufficed." Jim's rolling his eyes so hard they're going to fall out of his head.

"I'm acting under the assumption that most folks wouldn't just go do whatever the fuck they wanted with someone else's body without asking first." He's sorely tempted to go buy lingerie and put it on just so Ixis is wearing it when they swap back. Because wouldn't that get a laugh. Well, Jim would laugh.

"It's not that bad is it? I mean...I'm pretty high strung, but it's not just about that kinda thing. I'm pretty high energy all the time." He looks a bit thoughtful now. "Guess I've gotten used to it? Honestly I don't really pay it any mind most of the time. There's always so much work to do. But when I'm off duty?" Eyebrows are going up.

"Then it's a party."

[ixis]

"I figured it would have stayed discreet and unsaid! Or you'd have accepted it as a side effect of ownership of your body. I don't exactly delight in getting such an unfortunate glimpse at your intimate workings. We can still be 'dudes' about this if we just...accept this for what it is." Which is awkward. Or something.

"I'm not completely sexless, if you're thinking it. I just am more...subdued. And measured." Has to defend his honour here, even if it wasn't being called into question. "You're the one who's tipping the scale a bit hard."

[smartass_captain]

"Discreet and unsaid went out the window the minute you yelled about my pubic hair in front of the entire forum." Jim retorts with a sigh. "You should. In case you haven't noticed, I"m pretty great for that sort of thing." Ixis can be buff as hell fine whatever. Jim doesn't need to be super ultra buff to be the master of the bedroom. So..so there. Or something.

"It's weird for me to not be keyed up. No idea of life expectancy of your species but you're also crazy old compared to me. That makes a difference." Though, even Jim has to shrug at the last argument. "Well, considering you don't want to be? I'm kind of thinking it's not really my fault. Especially since I'm not in your body. That's just the way I was built."

[ixis]

"That's fine, I have no idea of my life expectancy either. I've been going for nearly a century, though, and feel no signs of slowing down, not including a whole portion of my life that I've forgotten. Bodes well for me going a good while longer, doesn't it?" He grins.

[smartass_captain]

"Doesn't that bother you? To have whole chunks of your life just gone form memory?" Not that there isn't chunks of Jim's life he'd rather forget, but...if he did, he had a feeling he'd be the sort to want them back, no matter how bad.

"Seems to be the case. Built more like a Klingon than an old man."

[ixis]

"Bother me? Why would it? I figure if I would have wanted myself to remember, I would have arranged it. Instead, I just woke up with no memory of my past and concluded it was discarded. Unwanted and unneeded. I went on to greatness shortly following my awakening, after all. The best years are always the ones ahead of you!"

The logic is completely mad, but the takeaway is...uplifting? Mostly.

[smartass_captain]

"Awakening..." okay, this makes more sense. When he fought the three headghosts and won, or something. That's gotta be it. He doesn't remember life before becoming fused with them? Quite possibly he wasn't the same person or creature he is now.

Confusing? but also kind of makes sense, even if Jim's just guessing here.

"Only if you make 'em better." Jim quips finally. "So, is the interrogation over? Can I go to bed now? I'm kind of enjoying the idea of sleeping without horrific nightmares for a change."

[ixis]

"Are you not? I thought you said this whole outing was because of a nightmare." Although this at least finally gets Naugus to crawl down from his perch on the arm of the sofa.

[smartass_captain]

"It was, but Viatorus gave me some dream-free tea and I'm not about to turn down a chance to get rest without anyone's fucked up mind or thoughts getting in the way."

Jim wonders briefly if that seat on the arm of the couch had been comfortable, but decides any bruises or pulled muscles Ixis gets from sleeping on stones is just one more problem for future Jim once he gets his body back. Not worth fighting over now.

[ixis]

Naugus still hasn't figured out the problem could be him sleeping on a stone slab, rather than it being yet another failing of Jim's tender body. Not everyone has hide like you, Mr. Wizard.

"That sounds ideal. Like I said, I never remember mine, and my sleep never suffers for it. Highly recommended."

He straightens up, cracking his back loudly with a pleased grimace before turning and tromping up the stairs again without so much as a good night. Bye, apparently.