It's been a Long Night [Body Swap LOL, for Ixis]

[smartass_captain]

It's well past two am by the time Jim and Verity make it back to the tower. They're both tired and Jim's already had a mug of that dream-free tea Viatorus was kind enough to provide for him during his meet up with Schon earlier.

He'll awkwardly give Verity a hug before waving her off to bed and heading back to the couch to try and get some semblance of sleep, if only to make it tomorrow all the quicker.

Jim is not expecting to see his body perched on the end of the couch, looming at him in the darkness.

"Okay, what the fuck now??"

Comments

[smartass_captain]

"Sure...why not." Jim actually smiles at that. guess it's not all death and torture talk for the two of them.

"i'm still kinda mad that you didn't ask me before you took a shears to my body, but it coulda been worse." A pause. "maybe Felix'll like it either way." Shrug. Speaking of though..

"Guessing there's still no progress on fixing this though, huh."

[ixis]

"In my continued defense, I was convinced it was something perverted. It's no sensible place to maintain hair of any kind! Especially since it DOES lend the illusion of being maintained." Humans and their weird, singular patches of fuzz in arbitrary places.

"As far as progress of undoing this, none, I'm afraid. Especially now with the increasing suspicion this spell is cast with the use of psyonics. A realm of magic I have no experience in." A sigh before he remembers, oh yeah, there's that beer Jim handed him. He takes a slurp of that.

[smartass_captain]

"Well, fuck." Yeah, that about sums up the feelings toward this entire swap. One big mess.

"...I'm surprised perverted jumped to the front of your mind." Actually. He sits up straight again. "Actually, no, I'm not. Because I haven't been horny once like this whole time. That's...actually also unsurprising given the circumstances. But I'd have thought at least seeing Felix would have been distracting."

Suspicion is growing.

"...Jesus fucking christ on a cracker, did I leave my libido in my body? Are you okay?" And more importantly, has he stayed away from Felix since >:(

[ixis]

"How insulting. In a body as magnificent as mine and you feel nothing? Have you properly LOOKED at me?" Well, maybe not the face. Everything below the beard, maybe.

There's a long pause at the question. Long enough that it might start to feel like it was TOO weird to ask.

"...I can only conjure so much ice and cold water in this body. Your libido and physical responses to the slightest sexual notion or sight are ABSURD. I can get NOTHING DONE. How do you even EXIST like this."

[smartass_captain]

"Okay, I'm gonna level with you. Impressed? Yes. I don't have the genetics for pecs like yours. Or abs. Or really anything in the torso area. I'm at the gym damn near every day, but there's only so much a guy can do. Horny? No. Not in the least. And even around Felix, I was too busy shitting bricks at the idea of you and him canoodling to really think too hard about it."

Jim winces. It's gonna suck when he gets his body back.

"I've got a lot of love to give, what can I say?" Jim shrugs. "I'm not gonna help you with that problem, but you're free to do what you need to. You gave me permission to run out with Felix, I suppose I should give you permission to at least jack it. Not in front of me, please. And also probably not on Verity's furniture or she'll kill us both."

[ixis]

"I will admit I was severely confused when Felix snuggled up to me. I'd forgotten I was you and was frantically trying to think of a way to gracefully let down someone so young and who admires me as one mage to another. I was trying to also figure out where in our shared misadventures he'd taken a such a sharp turn towards me. So no, it was all a relief when I realized I wasn't the ACTUAL target of that whole exchange."

And then there's all that advice. Naugus scoffs.

"You act like I'm a total beast. I know HOW to and I know WHERE to. Vale's bones, boy. It's just severely disconcerting to have to do it to parts I don't own. Also, good thing I have permission NOW, because I can safely retroactively apply it to the million times it's become a necessity already. Again: how do you function."

[smartass_captain]

"Well excuse me for trying to be a dude about this. Christ. A simple 'too late' would have sufficed." Jim's rolling his eyes so hard they're going to fall out of his head.

"I'm acting under the assumption that most folks wouldn't just go do whatever the fuck they wanted with someone else's body without asking first." He's sorely tempted to go buy lingerie and put it on just so Ixis is wearing it when they swap back. Because wouldn't that get a laugh. Well, Jim would laugh.

"It's not that bad is it? I mean...I'm pretty high strung, but it's not just about that kinda thing. I'm pretty high energy all the time." He looks a bit thoughtful now. "Guess I've gotten used to it? Honestly I don't really pay it any mind most of the time. There's always so much work to do. But when I'm off duty?" Eyebrows are going up.

"Then it's a party."

[ixis]

"I figured it would have stayed discreet and unsaid! Or you'd have accepted it as a side effect of ownership of your body. I don't exactly delight in getting such an unfortunate glimpse at your intimate workings. We can still be 'dudes' about this if we just...accept this for what it is." Which is awkward. Or something.

"I'm not completely sexless, if you're thinking it. I just am more...subdued. And measured." Has to defend his honour here, even if it wasn't being called into question. "You're the one who's tipping the scale a bit hard."

[smartass_captain]

"Discreet and unsaid went out the window the minute you yelled about my pubic hair in front of the entire forum." Jim retorts with a sigh. "You should. In case you haven't noticed, I"m pretty great for that sort of thing." Ixis can be buff as hell fine whatever. Jim doesn't need to be super ultra buff to be the master of the bedroom. So..so there. Or something.

"It's weird for me to not be keyed up. No idea of life expectancy of your species but you're also crazy old compared to me. That makes a difference." Though, even Jim has to shrug at the last argument. "Well, considering you don't want to be? I'm kind of thinking it's not really my fault. Especially since I'm not in your body. That's just the way I was built."

[ixis]

"That's fine, I have no idea of my life expectancy either. I've been going for nearly a century, though, and feel no signs of slowing down, not including a whole portion of my life that I've forgotten. Bodes well for me going a good while longer, doesn't it?" He grins.

[smartass_captain]

"Doesn't that bother you? To have whole chunks of your life just gone form memory?" Not that there isn't chunks of Jim's life he'd rather forget, but...if he did, he had a feeling he'd be the sort to want them back, no matter how bad.

"Seems to be the case. Built more like a Klingon than an old man."

[ixis]

"Bother me? Why would it? I figure if I would have wanted myself to remember, I would have arranged it. Instead, I just woke up with no memory of my past and concluded it was discarded. Unwanted and unneeded. I went on to greatness shortly following my awakening, after all. The best years are always the ones ahead of you!"

The logic is completely mad, but the takeaway is...uplifting? Mostly.

[smartass_captain]

"Awakening..." okay, this makes more sense. When he fought the three headghosts and won, or something. That's gotta be it. He doesn't remember life before becoming fused with them? Quite possibly he wasn't the same person or creature he is now.

Confusing? but also kind of makes sense, even if Jim's just guessing here.

"Only if you make 'em better." Jim quips finally. "So, is the interrogation over? Can I go to bed now? I'm kind of enjoying the idea of sleeping without horrific nightmares for a change."

[ixis]

"Are you not? I thought you said this whole outing was because of a nightmare." Although this at least finally gets Naugus to crawl down from his perch on the arm of the sofa.

[smartass_captain]

"It was, but Viatorus gave me some dream-free tea and I'm not about to turn down a chance to get rest without anyone's fucked up mind or thoughts getting in the way."

Jim wonders briefly if that seat on the arm of the couch had been comfortable, but decides any bruises or pulled muscles Ixis gets from sleeping on stones is just one more problem for future Jim once he gets his body back. Not worth fighting over now.

[ixis]

Naugus still hasn't figured out the problem could be him sleeping on a stone slab, rather than it being yet another failing of Jim's tender body. Not everyone has hide like you, Mr. Wizard.

"That sounds ideal. Like I said, I never remember mine, and my sleep never suffers for it. Highly recommended."

He straightens up, cracking his back loudly with a pleased grimace before turning and tromping up the stairs again without so much as a good night. Bye, apparently.