Field Trip [for Schon]

[smartass_captain]

It's not often that Jim shows up in the Nexus in uniform anymore. Since it's become his getaway form work, it always seemed more prudent to just wear his everyday clothes. He's in Starfleet golds today though, kicked back in an overstuffed chair in a quiet corner of the forum, doing 'paperwork' on his PADD.

There's a nearly empty cup of coffee next to him. Maybe he's waiting for someone. Or maybe he just got tired of being bothered in his quarters. It's hard to tell, with Jim.

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[smartass_captain]

"Wait..." Jim makes a face. Clenches his fist in the grass he's sitting in. "So...all of this? Sky, grass, flowers....everything? Is...not? Real?" Jim can't deal with this right now. Imaginary grass and psychic trees.

"...That explains why nothing lives here anymore I guess." Jim scrubs a hand over his face and sighs. Flops back onto the grass and stares up at the sky. "....They didn't fuck you up in the head too bad? You weren't answering for a long ass time. I was worried they'd done something to you."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Reality is not always quite so solid as you believe it to be, Captain. Sometimes, someone else's belief is the stronger."

"They were extending an invitation, but I have seen the product of such lives before. I am..." He pauses, examining himself in a moment of self-reflection and smoothing down some of the snags and small tears in his suit. At last, he concludes, "unbroken."

[smartass_captain]

"That's good." Jim sighs again and man he is tired after fighting off a forest of NO. "Let's blow this joint and take our picnic to the Parklands. Hardly a getaway vacation, for you, but considerably less mind rapey and nommy."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Mm. Yes." He sighs, donning his hat (where was it this whole time?) before nodding agreement. "Let us be off, then. I don't wish to seem an ungrateful guest, but I fear this planet has lost its charm."

[smartass_captain]

"You weren't the one getting groped by trees, buddy." Jim shudders and gets up, more sure of his footing and ready to be rid of this place.

"Still, sorry for dragging you all the way out here for this. My epic space adventures are usually..." Beat.

Jim, seriously?

"...Actually I don't know what else I was expecting, this is exactly how my missions go." Jim sighs and shakes his head.

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Was I not?" he counters dryly, but his heart isn't in the debate. "Think of it this way: how swiftly would you lose your patience with a placid world?"

[smartass_captain]

Jim could debate the difference between having a nap with some treeple and getting choked out by tree roots while also getting blasted by tree mind rays, but whatever. It's not worth making Schon mad and Jim is happy to project that he totally had everything under control down there.

"That depends. Are there people to mess around with? because if not? Fucking yesterday."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Mm. If there is no trouble to find, you'll make some?"

[smartass_captain]

"Not the kind of 'messing around' i meant, but sure, we'll go with that." The hike back would be much faster than the hike there if it were not all uphill for the most part.

Jim isn't exactly wiped by the time they're back to the ship, but he does look a bit winded. Hard to tell if that's from the hike or the drop before it. Or the choking.

Sad day for Jim. He'll gather up the assorted picnic he'd set aside and take one last look out at the planet's surface.

"Well, it was worth checking out, at least. Let's head back to the Nexus."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"'Trouble' couldn't be a euphemism?" he counters genially, having the advantage on the walk back of a cane. "Out of curiosity, how much did you see, and hear, in the forest?"

The proposal to return to the Nexus is met with a nod, though he doesn't engage in much wordplay aboard the Enterprise--being around such cold rationality is tiring, even if the actual iron content is low.

[smartass_captain]

"Fair point, my friend. Fair point." Jim will get them beamed back to the ship and head off toward the Nexus, and he is a good enough host to withhold his chatter until they're back somewhere more pleasing for Schon.

The Parklands is no alien oasis, but at least nothing is going to try to eat them, there. Jim pulls out a bottle of deep blue liquid and offers it to Schon.

"A thank you present for holding such an outstanding party. It's Theta III starfruit wine."

Jim waits until they're settled while he considers the other's question.

"I saw the trees moving, and I felt...something. It was similar to when I mind melded with a Vulcan the one time. I suppose that's what telepathy feels like. It was like standing next to a huge speaker and having it just blast you with sound waves, but they weren't at a frequency I could hear. Didn't mean they couldn't do damage. I was knocked off my feet feeling like my head was gonna pop for a while there. Then the trees started moving--you fainted into some branches and disappeared, and I started getting choked out by the roots. I tried calling out to you, but it felt like there was cotton stuffed into my mouth. And my ears. Like my voice was nothing. After that, not getting eaten/choked took precedence over everything else."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

Schön considers Jim's account of events carefully, then accepts it with a nod. "They underestimated you, it seems."

[smartass_captain]

"Seems like the liked you pretty well. I'm glad they didn't hurt you too bad. Unless you got fucked in the head, that's never good." Jim winces in sympathy.

"Sometimes the worst scars are the ones that don't show."

(Sorry, this got away from me somehow.)

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

The bottle Jim offered is opened, sniffed at thoughtfully, before a measure is poured out (into cups; he's not making an offering to the land).

"They saw a measure of kinship in me, and wished for an adoption. The state they had reached was... disquieting, to say the least."

[smartass_captain]

Jim politely shakes his head at Schon offering him some of the wine.

"I got it for you. Besides, I can't do the starfruit. Found out I was allergic to that the hard way after exams at the Academy, not a fun night." Jim shakes his head with a sigh.

"I wanted to make sure I got you something you'd never had before. As a proper thanks. Cuz that was a party the likes of which I'd certainly never seen before."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Starfruit wine... I have drunk many libations, from many different places, but I admit this is a first for me." He raises his glass in a toast. "Captain, you have my thanks."

He takes a small sip, rolling it thoughtfully back and forth across his tongue, his expression thoughtful. He's picking over the experience with care, to get every sensation, to suck the very marrow from its bones. "Mm, mmm! Very nice. This shall, very briefly, occupy a place of pride on my sideboard, I think."

[smartass_captain]

"Yeah? I'm glad you like it." Jim Is honestly really pleased that the magi has taken a liking to it. He'd actually spent quite a while trying to figure out a good thank you gift to present. These sorts of things don't come easy to Jim.

"Silver lining to a day that did not go according to plan." The Nexus isn't such a bad place to hang out. Nah. Trees that don't want to kill or mind meld with you. Plenty of people watching. "It's actually kind of sad that in the grand scheme of things, that? Wasn't even bad." Jim has to laugh at that. No near death situations, nothing blowing up. Just a slight botanical misunderstanding and maybe a few errant attempts at Jim-eating.

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"No? You live a life fraught with adventure, Captain. I do not wonder that you seek occasional solace." After another sip of wine, he adds, "I didn't know you suffered from allergies."

[smartass_captain]

"Trouble and I are more than passing acquaintances." Jim admits. "But it's not even usually my fault. Luck and I are not on speaking terms and haven't been forever, but she's a vindictive bitch and won't let me die and be rid of her for good." No Jim doesn't want to die, he's being melodramatic.

"Quite a few, actually. Lot of common ones, lot of uncommon ones. That's part of the luck of being a survivor, I guess."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"A little magic," Schön points out, "can go a long way toward warming her affections. Although there is, ironically, only so much it can do for allergies."

[smartass_captain]

"I think, if you asked my crew they'd tell you I'm incredibly lucky, in that I've survived an awful lot I shouldn't have. I'd quietly point out that..well...sometimes surviving is harder than not." Still, Jim shrugs it off because what else can he do? Sulk about it? Sure, but not in the company of others.

"I'd probably just find out I'm allergic to a bunch of that kind of stuff too." And that Jim has to laugh at because it makes about as much sense as anything else. "And who even knows what kind of reaction you'd have to that."

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

Schön nods sympathetically as Jim muses on the harder side of surviving by a thin skein of good fortune.

"Did you have some unfortunate reaction to the potion I gave you, after we parted?" How does it feel to get out-logicked by a fairy mage, Jim?

[smartass_captain]

"I did not." Jim admits with a conceding nod. Also, it is no huge feat out logicking Jim Kirk. His first officer would know. Jim is a most illogical human. "But that's like saying I'm not allergic to eggs so clearly all protein is fine, isn't it?"

The rest of the picnic is less impressive than the wine. Pastrami and cheese sandwiches, plus little cucumber tea sandwiches just in case Schon is a vegetarian.

[u_can_have_it_4_a_song]

"Mm, a fair point. But it is at least a sign that not all magic will be a source of instant mishap, hmm?"

There is nothing at all wrong with a good pastrami sandwich, and Schön tucks into one thoughtfully. "Mm, this is nice. Do they still have a New York, in the world from which you come?"

[smartass_captain]

"They do, yeah. But I've never been there." Jim gives it a moment of thoughtful pause, and then grins. "I've actually been to 2013 New York quite a few times though. Never had one of these there, though I did discover falafel is amazing."

Alas, he did not bring falafel for the picnic. Maybe next time.

"I hang out in that Brooklyn as often as I can when Clint's not saving the world or getting thrown out of buildings."