Going Dark [The Beginning]
Jan. 1st, 2018 11:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smartass_captainThis is Captain James T. Kirk. We have docked at Starfleet Outpost Yorktown. Once all mission logs, current shifts, and assignments have been completed you are permitted off ship and off duty on leave until we receive our next assignment. Please keep your personal devices with you at all times in case of an emergency. Enjoy your break, everyone.
You've earned it. Kirk out.
With the alpha crew busy getting everything squared away on the bridge before they head out into the base proper, Jim sits down at his desk in his quarters and looks over his most recent log. He can hear the sleep deprivation in his voice. The strained veneer of calmness that stretches over his barely held together psyche.
It's New Years Day in the Nexus. Jim's been off the map there for two months now. The messages to his PINpoint have all been answered dutifully, though they're becoming less and less frequent. With the peace talks falling through spelling a failure in his last month's worth of work Jim almost feels like his absence from the Nexus is pointless. An excuse.
Why would he go back if he knows he's going to leave? Starfleet forwarded him their recommendation for promotion again just before Bones caught him drinking on his own. This time, instead of ignoring it, he signed his name on the application and sent it back to the fleet. There's no place for him in the Nexus just like there's no place for him on the ship. His entire career in Starfleet has been one chasing the shadow of George Kirk and now that he's emerged from that shadow a year older than his father ever got to see what does he have to show for it?
A career built on a dare? There's no longer any steps for Jim to follow in. There's no longer a place for him in his father's old position. He may as well accept the promotion and move on just like he always has. Jim submits his captain's log and gets up from his desk for what will be the last time. He leaves his PINpoint in the drawer and heads back to the bridge to head down to the base with the rest of his alpha crew.
---- Twelve Hours Later ----
To anyone attempting to leave a message with Jim on his PINpoint, they will only receive an error message in reply.
Unable to connect to specified frequency. PINpoint coordinates do not exist. Retry to send your message?
((Please feel free to try and send Jim messages anyway and reach out to each other if you'd like in the comments here. This is an open post, however Jim will not be able to reply so you will be interacting with each other.))
You've earned it. Kirk out.
With the alpha crew busy getting everything squared away on the bridge before they head out into the base proper, Jim sits down at his desk in his quarters and looks over his most recent log. He can hear the sleep deprivation in his voice. The strained veneer of calmness that stretches over his barely held together psyche.
It's New Years Day in the Nexus. Jim's been off the map there for two months now. The messages to his PINpoint have all been answered dutifully, though they're becoming less and less frequent. With the peace talks falling through spelling a failure in his last month's worth of work Jim almost feels like his absence from the Nexus is pointless. An excuse.
Why would he go back if he knows he's going to leave? Starfleet forwarded him their recommendation for promotion again just before Bones caught him drinking on his own. This time, instead of ignoring it, he signed his name on the application and sent it back to the fleet. There's no place for him in the Nexus just like there's no place for him on the ship. His entire career in Starfleet has been one chasing the shadow of George Kirk and now that he's emerged from that shadow a year older than his father ever got to see what does he have to show for it?
A career built on a dare? There's no longer any steps for Jim to follow in. There's no longer a place for him in his father's old position. He may as well accept the promotion and move on just like he always has. Jim submits his captain's log and gets up from his desk for what will be the last time. He leaves his PINpoint in the drawer and heads back to the bridge to head down to the base with the rest of his alpha crew.
---- Twelve Hours Later ----
To anyone attempting to leave a message with Jim on his PINpoint, they will only receive an error message in reply.
Unable to connect to specified frequency. PINpoint coordinates do not exist. Retry to send your message?
((Please feel free to try and send Jim messages anyway and reach out to each other if you'd like in the comments here. This is an open post, however Jim will not be able to reply so you will be interacting with each other.))
no subject
Date: 2018-01-08 02:29 am (UTC)"I'll take the left side."
no subject
Date: 2018-01-08 02:45 pm (UTC)"Sure." Left or right, it doesn't matter to her. She heads in that direction and efficiently begins checking on each portal that she passes. Some are tricky to identify, as they look identical to doors that lead to Nexus shops and homes, but her time in the Nexus has given her a feel for what makes a portal different from a regular door. A certain vibe that's been calling out more strongly to her ever since the Nightmare incident.
She's very good about staying in sight, although occasionally she needs to duck into an alley to double-check something. Some of the portals are stable and well-trafficked. Some give off a welcoming aura, and those she avoids like the plague. Any portal that encourages people to enter is a dangerous one, so far as she's concerned. Some portals waver like mirages, as if any moment they might blink out of existence.
But so far, no glass door with a radiation symbol.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-09 02:01 am (UTC)What the plan will be if - when - they find it, well, he's still working on that.
He has a good long while to think on it though, traveling up and down the rows upon rows of streets, periodically checking to make sure Adia is still in sight, staying out in the open himself so she can track him too. Once or twice, he catches sight of a particularly reflective doorway, and his head snaps around to look at it more closely. But it's never the right one, never that deceptively simple portal into one of his own personal hells.
In an infinite Nexus, with infinite doors, Jim had not expected to find one specific portal so easily. And as time wears on, and the door continues to elude the seekers, it becomes more and more clear that this is going to be a bigger search than he'd hoped.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-10 01:47 am (UTC)When she finally walks over to Jim, it is clear by the crestfallen expression on her face that she not found anything substantial. "I need to go home," she says sadly, her gaze turned down in apology. "There are some lab results I have to check on, and I was supposed to help Maggie with dinner. She'll know something's off if Caspar makes up excuses where I've gone..."
She feels terrible. This search was her idea in the first place, she didn't have to drag Jim into it. He has enough on his plate without having to worry about his alternate, too.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-11 03:22 am (UTC)No, he does not think any less of her for calling it a day. And while he nods a little in agreement, his own time to spend here becoming more limited by the minute, there's a small spark in his eye that wasn't there before today, a smoldering ember waiting to be rekindled. Something he'd lost sight of after the Nightmare that had damn near swallowed him whole, slowly rising from the darkness and uncertainty that has weighed him down ever since.
Determination.
There comes a time when you have to fall back and regroup, to take a rest and resupply before setting out again. It's not surrender and it's not a retreat. It's taking a step back to breathe, before you start again. There is no such thing as a no-win scenario. Never has been. This is no different. It doesn't matter how long the search takes. It doesn't matter if it's all for nothing, if they find out that the other captain didn't make it, if they're too late to make a difference. At least they'll know. At least they tried.
He can't turn his back on this. He won't.
"It's getting late for me too. I'll come back tomorrow, pick up where we left off." He doesn't ask if she can return too, reading that guilt on her face, hardly wanting to add to that weight. He'll understand if she can't. But he'll gladly welcome any help she can give, another person to help shoulder the task, leaving the offer unspoken, open-ended, a silent question. Even if not tomorrow, even if her own responsibilities keep her from devoting so much time to such a massive search. Jim may not be able to either. But he'll keep trying when he can. As long as it takes to get an answer.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-12 01:28 am (UTC)This is the Jim she remembers. The kind of Captain who never gives up on his crew, who knows that taking a break is not the same as giving up. It's the same strength she's seen in her own world, the strength that pulled her people through near extinction and into a new home and a new peace.
Standing a little straighter, she replies, "Me too." If he's not about to quit looking for Jim's portal, then neither is she. She'll keep at it for as long as it takes, or until she has a better answer for what happened.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-12 02:46 am (UTC)"Then I'll see you around tomorrow," he says, touching two fingers to his brow in a sloppy salute.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-12 05:29 pm (UTC)Her PINpoint is already in her hand, so there's no need to wait. She takes a good look around, noting where she left off her search. There's no guarantee that the landmarks will remain stable, but it gives her a general sense of where in the Nexus she is. "Good luck, Jim. And thanks for coming."
She teleports back to her cabin on Atlantis, determined to return when she can and resume her search. Or get some answers, whichever comes first.