Therapy Session's a Two-Drink Minimum (for boldygoing )

[smartass_captain]

You'd think this would be easier.

Find a place that's safe and quiet. Out of the way where neither of them has to be 'On' and neither of them has to worry about being bothered. Dig out a chess set, get a couple of drinks (make sure a certain Jim doesn't get too many drinks), and there you go. There's just one small problem with this idea.

There isn't a safe place anymore.

Jim's barely been able to hold still in the Nexus and he's already so high energy that some of the denizens don't think he's capable of sitting down. He doubts his counterpart is having an easier time of it. Jim's forgotten which of them came up with the idea. Inclined to think it was himself, but then he's pretty sure the younger one would say the same so who even knows.

They'll hash out the details as they go. Jim locks his quarters with his override code before shooting a set of PINpoint coordinates to his counterpart.

Chess set's set up. We doing this?

Comments

[boldygoing]

...oh. Fuck. Jim has no real idea what he just stepped into, but that joke went down like it got sucked into a black hole, and the teasing look slides off his own face in a hurry. Whatever landmine he just tripped, it's bad. "Sorry," he says, looking contrite, not quite sure what he did wrong but genuinely apologetic that he did it, regardless.

Was it the age thing? Logically, Jim knows there's about three years between them, but he hasn't really considered what that means. On a deeper level than just a number. An uneasy feeling coils in his stomach, but he can tell by one look at the other's face that asking is not gonna get him anywhere. It's either something so personal that it's even worse than what they've talked about so far, or it's spoilers, something he can't talk about without jeopardizing the timeline.

Either way... shit.

He doesn't have the first clue how to start salvaging this situation, not when he's not even sure how it got to this point in the first place. Crookshanks has a little more of an idea, making a worried sound in his throat and trying to slip his head under the older captain's hand.

Okay. It's been a few hours since they started this session, and normally, Jim would offer to make something to eat for a guest, especially seeing as it's growing later by the hour. But food is a minefield in and of itself, with himself as much as his companion, and the last thing he wants to do is start carelessly tromping on even more traumatic spots for either of them. "Can I get you anything?" he asks instead, leaving it open-ended. More coffee, some water, anything that's in his power to do.

[smartass_captain]

"Nah. I think I'm gonna take your advice and call it a day. The game will keep, right?"

The tone in Jim's voice and the way he pulls away from Crookshanks definitively says all it needs to about the situation. The conversation is Over. There's nothing more to talk about right now that isn't straying into territories Jim can't touch on with his younger counterpart until he's experienced them for himself.

Which he may never have to. Who even knows?

"My turn to pick a time and place next time to finish this, yeah?" He tries to keep his expression friendly. There's no way Jim could have known...it's just proof that they can't share Everything with each other. Not yet, anyway.

"I've got a diplomatic peace talk coming up in a few weeks, so we're going doubletime to finish all or scans in this sector before we have to head out there. I might be gone a couple of weeks but I'll catch up with you when I can."

[boldygoing]

Jim feels like he's swallowed a lead weight, seeing right through the way the other is trying to play it off, pulling back, finding an excuse to leave. Even if he's keeping this civil, friendly even, there's that sinking feeling that he did this. And there's not really anything he can do to take it back, or fix it.

But he gets it. Gets the urge to run, to hide, to spend enough time in solitude to get his head on straight without some well-meaning idiot like himself asking stupid questions. So he doesn't fight it. Wouldn't make any difference if he did. Jim Kirk is a fucking stubborn guy, and something like this... yeah, it's Over. Especially with a rock-solid excuse like his duty to Starfleet behind it.

"Sure," Jim says, not quite able to hide the frown, but giving it his best shot. "It's your move next anyway. Just let me know when you're available."