Aftermath [Open to FITE NITE attendees, mostly for Bones]

[smartass_captain]

He remembers being caged.

Chained up, drugged. Bound to the other captain who couldn't have been more wrong about who he was. He was still funny from his capture, and hungry. Poor circumstances that lead to Jim's survival instincts going into overdrive. Whatever it took to not remember Tarsus IV.

Jim doesn't even remember losing. Just his pulse thundering in his ears and the rattle of the chain. Just getting swept away in a haze of violence and panic that left him mentally shut down. What he had wasn't a fight. Jim Kirk actually enjoys a good fight now and again. This had been something else entirely.

He hadn't been on control. Hadn't even been altogether present.

And now....

Everything hurts, but especially his head. His ears are ringing and it's difficult to keep anything in focus. There are voices, faint and vaguely familiar but Jim can't concentrate on them just yet. All he can manage is to groan and curl up on himself. He's on one of the many Nexus couches in the Plaza, where many of the captured and injured were taken for treatment after people had stormed the Arena to rescue those who had been taken against their will and put a stop to all of this.

Comments

[smartass_captain]

"Sorry.." Jim's murmur is equal parts that and a soft groan of pain. He doesn't remember being told to be still. Also doesn't think he's ever listened to that advice in his life. Including now.

"...I lost it a bit. In there." Hit too close to many a buried memory that Jim never wanted to relive again. He's pretty sure he broke Han's arm. Wrist. Something. It's hard to remember the details when the pounding in his ears was so loud.

The last question makes Jim start to shake his head, and then stop immediately. "No more so than usual when I get stunned. Kinda nauseous--whatever tech they use to do it from his world hits like a cattle prod." Felix doesn't know what that is, Jim. "Hurts. Is what I mean. Getting stunned is never fun, but.."

[conjuredskies]

"I saw. You were... different. I... It thought you really wanted to hurt him."

Felix settles back a bit, trying to weigh the number of places Jim seems to be hurt in different ways against his limited options. "...So you know what he did? I mean, do you know if it's bad? What I need to do for it?"

[smartass_captain]

"I sure as hell didn' care if I did at th'time."

Everything was second to getting out of there alive. Jim's not even entirely sure he'd have hesitated to kill someone in that desperate state of mind. He most certainly would have before had others not stopped him and brought him out of it.

"Dunno what set me off. But..I don't take to being chained up or starved. Or drugged. Very well." Jim looks anywhere he can to avoid looking at Felix. Now that he's out he feels the familiar creep of shame trickling in underneath his skin.

"Stunned me. Similar to tech my phaser has. Locks up the muscles. Most people pass out from the brief cutoff from oxygen. It's a weak field and used as a defensive nonlethal alternative to blaster fire." Jim blinks, finally meeting Felix's gaze again. "It's the difference between choking a guy out and strangling him more or less."

[conjuredskies]

He nods at the first part without seeming troubled; it would have been inconvenient, but he takes no issue with Jim's willingness to preserve his own life... for once. It's not the principle that's troubling, it's how uncharacteristic it is.

"I'd hope not," Felix murmurs - though there's something unpleasantly familiar about the way Jim's eyes won't meet his, something that provokes an uneasy sensation in his gut. It's going to nag at him as soon as he's not fearing for Jim's life. He runs a hand over the captain's bruises; his first impulse is to ease as much pain as he can, but he wonders suddenly if that will just let Jim start jogging all those injuries and making them worse.

"Hmm. I see why that hurts so much." But permanent damage is out of the picture, so that's a relief. "If we get you sitting up, do you think you could drink a potion?"

[smartass_captain]

The fact that Jim doesn't remember or care about the details of what went on in there are chief among the reasons for the shame creeping up and seeping into his skin. He doesn't like being reduced to that sort of state. Doesn't want to admit how satisfied and desperate he would have been if he'd won the fight. Desperate to escape.

Desperate to hurt anyone that got in his way of escaping.

The adrenaline is no longer in his system, leaving JIm tired beyond reason and ashamed of how he's acted. If he didn't have such a lidtight control over himself when he's trying, he might have started crying. As is, his blue eyes turn wet but he keeps control over himself.

[conjuredskies]

Jim's silence is an answer itself. It takes a few seconds for Felix to realize he's not speaking - he's not able to speak right now. The Imperial looks down at him uncertainly. "Jim..."

No potions, he knows that much. In the moment Felix just slides up and perches on the couch beside him, curling an arm around the captain.

"You'll be all right now," he murmurs. "I'll take care of you." He'll concentrate on healing what he can, until he runs out of energy himself.

[smartass_captain]

"It's always like this. Why's it always like this? I'm not..." Weak? Pathetic? A wreck?

Yes you are, Jim. You are all of these things, all of the time. That's why Felix always has to see you like this. Stewing over it in self loathing won't help anyone right now. All it'll do is make you weaker. Pull yourself together captain.

"I'm fine, Felix." He's not. "I will be, anyway. Thanks...for looking over me. Gettin' me outta there."

[conjuredskies]

"Some people just aren't fated for a life of ease." And Jim is definitely one of the. It's no fault of his, in Felix's eyes - to the contrary, if he were weak or pathetic he surely wouldn't have survived half the things Felix knows he has.

"I'm just sorry I didn't track you down sooner. If I'd realized you weren't there by choice..." What could he have done? Something stupid, most likely. He sighs, finding another injured spot to coax into healing.

"...You fought well, by the way. Despite the circumstances." Despite how hard it was to sit around watching him get hurt. His hand curls over Jim's shoulder. "...But next time you're in a fight, I'd rather be at your side from the start."

[smartass_captain]

This time Jim does manage a smile. The captain swivels his head to look up over his shoulder, fingertips touching the back of Felix's hand.

"I can't think of anyone better experienced to have my back."

If he can make ambiguous jokes then surely he must be getting better, right?

[conjuredskies]

"Hmm." Felix flashes an answering grin, be "I'm glad to know he didn't hurt your memory." It's not solely a joke, of course. Any signs that Jim is thinking straight help make him feel better.

[smartass_captain]

"Have to hit me a lot harder to forget some of the marks you've left me with." Jim muses, quirking the side of his mouth up into a small smile. "I swear one of these days I'm going to be the one taking care of you."

He owes Felix so many saves he's lost count, truthfully.

"Sorry..for worrying you."

[conjuredskies]

"There's no doubt," he murmurs, unable to drag his eyes away from that quirk of a smile. "But you'd have to catch me being an idiot first. And I've been doing so well avoiding that."

His free hand strays up to touch Jim's cheek, the conjurer quiet for a moment before he answers. "I got you back. That's all I can ask."

He might feel differently next time he has to see Jim get hurt, but here and now relief has won the day.

[smartass_captain]

"Yeah so far that has decidedly been my job." Jim gives a weak laugh and lean into the touch of Felix's hand against his cheek. "Foolishness and bravery do seem to go hand in hand."

"What happened after...after I fell?"

[conjuredskies]

"Mmm, I'd better avoid acting brave. Though you've really had your turn at it by now."

He pauses for a minute, humming while he decides how to condense the story down. How much to omit.

"You were dragged out of the arena. I had an entrance to the back rooms marked, so I wrangled my way in to look for you. Luckily I wasn't there long before the guards got caught up with bigger problems. I gather some rather well-armed people had had enough of the show." He smiles wryly, shrugging. "And once there was a general heroic rescue attempt underway it was easy enough to get you out. After that... well, it was just a matter of checking your brains weren't scrambled."

[smartass_captain]

"Good job ghost doggie." Jim has no doubts on how Felix tracked him and makes a note to himself he's not entirely sure he'll remember later to give the familiar lots of pets. Since he's not sure if it can even eat to get treats.

Hearing that several Nexus goers had trashed the place isn't all that surprising. Jim could easily see himself volunteering to do the same if he hadn't...

"Thanks, Felix. I mean it. What would I do without you?"

[conjuredskies]

"It knows your scent very well by now," Felix confirms with a smile. "Better than almost anyone else." The fact that Jim actually appreciates the creatures he summons - that Felix can call them up regularly enough that they start remembering the captain... it's just one more thing to love about the man.

"Do you want the literal answer, the inappropriate answer or the humble answer?" he teases. 'Truth' is not on that list, one might note. Felix knows better. Or doesn't really see it as important.

[smartass_captain]

It says something about Jim's injuries that he actually has to think about that for a second before a grin spreads slowly across his tired face. He needed a minute to think about that there.

"Can I pick all of the above with an excessive interest in the second one?"

[conjuredskies]

“Anything to please you,” he murmurs, hiding his concern with the quirk of a grin. “Let’s see… I could say that I’m surely not the only person around here who’d want to get you to safety. Or point out that I have faith in your talent for survival.”

His touch returns to checking Jim’s injuries, sparing a moment’s healing here and there to take the edge off the worst. He’s been practicing (and yes, Stratos takes much of the credit for that) but it’s still an energy-intensive type of magic and he needs to be strategic.

“Or I could just admit I don’t want to know who you’d do without me.”