A day in the life of....
Mar. 17th, 2016 10:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smartass_captainCaptain's Log. Star Date 1315.79
I buried my back-up pilot today under the twin suns of an alien world.
It should have been a simple mission. We're obligated to answer any and all strange readings or distress signals we find while on our exploration. Everyone knows the risks. This never gets any easier.
Star Date 1312.11
Beta Shift had ended. I was scheduled to work Gamma shift and spent the hour before hand enjoying a game of chess with some of the other Gamma shift bridge crew. I do rounds of shifts to make sure every shift of the bridge runs as smoothly as possible. My best and brightest may be who I rely on in emergencies, but they need their rest too. And my back up shift is almost as good. I made sure of that when I became captain.
People like Gary Mitchell and Lee Kelso.
Old classmates from my time in the Academy. Gary especially. He and I had history dating back to my time in Starfleet. He and Kelso were a year my senior.
Gamma shift began with acting captain and first officer Mr. Spock informing me of a distress signal we had come across near the edge of the quadrant. An ancient distress beacon from the SS Valiant. Those versed in their Starfleet history will remember the vessel as the flagship of the Federation in its time and one of the first vessels tasked with exploring the edge of the galaxy. We had it beamed aboard to analyze its contents.
Unsettling logs at first look.
Severe damage to the ship; source: unknown. Six bridge crew killed and a seventh in critical condition. Something about extra-sensory perception and the captains final frantic order for the ship to self destruct.
We assumed the data to be garbled and set about retrieving all of the logs that we could. Lt. Uhura was placed in charge of the task. Her talents in xenolinguistics are without peer. I regret asking her to stay on past her shift, but we needed that data.
Stardate 1312.33
Uncharted territory. We are officially where no man has gone before. Would that I could celebrate this achievement but we encountered an energy field that has knocked us out of Warp 1. Fire on the bridge. Yellow alert given. Nine crew members across the ship deceased due to seizures caused by an unknown source. Mitchell in critical condition in Medbay.
Enterprise is crippled. Kirk out.
Chief Engineering Log, Supplemental
Warp capabilities are offline, ship cannae run on anything but impulse power and those engines are cracked. We'd need a Starbase to fix the damage. The Captain has called an Alpha Shift meeting. Went to tell him about the impulse engines but he already knows. How can he know? I only just discovered it. Says Mitchell told him about it in Medbay.
Captain's Log, 1312.41
The ship is crippled, all of my deceased crew showed heightened extra-sensory abilities before they succumbed. Gary is still alive and his abilities are the highest of all. He's becoming aggressive and his eyes are an opaque silver. It's unnerving. I'm not sure how much longer we can keep him in observation. He's moving things with his mind, getting in our heads. Bones is spooked. I have to admit.
So am I.
We're as good as dead if we can't repair the impulse power. It's holding for now. We're changing course to Theta Varis, where an old lithium cracking facility might have what we need to make some emergency repairs.
Spock is urging me to leave Mitchell there.
Abandon him? On an uninhabited planet? Gary is my friend and a member of my crew. Personal feelings and history aside, I will not give up on anyone in my crew so easily. Mr. Spock says the only other option is to kill him.
While we still can.
Stardate 1315.23
We had to sedate Mitchell. Constantly. He's getting more powerful. We've reached Theta Varis. Mr. Kelso, Mr. Scott, myself, and Commander Spock will be heading planetside. Kelso and Scott to obtain the necessary items for repairing the ship. Myself and Spock for...detaining Mitchell.
We have no choice.
I have to believe he can be helped. Can be saved. Until we figure out how, I have to leave him behind.
First Officer's Log, Supplmentary
The creature that was once Gary Mitchell has escaped from custody after attacking Captain Kirk and stunning myself. Has used his newfound abilities to force Mr. Lee Kelso to take his own life. Mr. Kelso would have been aware the entire time, begging for his life from what was once a lifelong friend.
It is no longer human, however, it does retain Mitchell's memories. Memories of jealousy over the Captain's prowess at the Academy. Of abuse in their personal history. Of ambition when the Captain obtained his rank. I must locate Jim.
It will torture him. And then make him kill himself too.
...
It has the Captain. Forcing him to relive past traumas. Creating life out of this wasteland with a mere thought. The plasma rifle will no longer harm what it is becoming. It is taking pleasure in watching Jim struggle. Forcing him to his knees. Begging for the lives of his crew. I do not know if Jim is speaking freely, or if this creature is dragging the words out of him by force.
I must create a distraction.
Captain's Log 1315.79
He was himself, at the end. Fought that thing off long enough to beg me to kill him. I took Gary Mitchell's life with the plasma rifle we had originally brought down for security purposes. We buried the dead on Theta Varis. It is too dangerous to even keep their bodies aboard the ship for a proper transfer home.
Not just the dead. My friends. My crew.
I know it is my job to bear this pain. The lives of the rest of my crew depend on it.
Kirk out.
I buried my back-up pilot today under the twin suns of an alien world.
It should have been a simple mission. We're obligated to answer any and all strange readings or distress signals we find while on our exploration. Everyone knows the risks. This never gets any easier.
Star Date 1312.11
Beta Shift had ended. I was scheduled to work Gamma shift and spent the hour before hand enjoying a game of chess with some of the other Gamma shift bridge crew. I do rounds of shifts to make sure every shift of the bridge runs as smoothly as possible. My best and brightest may be who I rely on in emergencies, but they need their rest too. And my back up shift is almost as good. I made sure of that when I became captain.
People like Gary Mitchell and Lee Kelso.
Old classmates from my time in the Academy. Gary especially. He and I had history dating back to my time in Starfleet. He and Kelso were a year my senior.
Gamma shift began with acting captain and first officer Mr. Spock informing me of a distress signal we had come across near the edge of the quadrant. An ancient distress beacon from the SS Valiant. Those versed in their Starfleet history will remember the vessel as the flagship of the Federation in its time and one of the first vessels tasked with exploring the edge of the galaxy. We had it beamed aboard to analyze its contents.
Unsettling logs at first look.
Severe damage to the ship; source: unknown. Six bridge crew killed and a seventh in critical condition. Something about extra-sensory perception and the captains final frantic order for the ship to self destruct.
We assumed the data to be garbled and set about retrieving all of the logs that we could. Lt. Uhura was placed in charge of the task. Her talents in xenolinguistics are without peer. I regret asking her to stay on past her shift, but we needed that data.
Stardate 1312.33
Uncharted territory. We are officially where no man has gone before. Would that I could celebrate this achievement but we encountered an energy field that has knocked us out of Warp 1. Fire on the bridge. Yellow alert given. Nine crew members across the ship deceased due to seizures caused by an unknown source. Mitchell in critical condition in Medbay.
Enterprise is crippled. Kirk out.
Chief Engineering Log, Supplemental
Warp capabilities are offline, ship cannae run on anything but impulse power and those engines are cracked. We'd need a Starbase to fix the damage. The Captain has called an Alpha Shift meeting. Went to tell him about the impulse engines but he already knows. How can he know? I only just discovered it. Says Mitchell told him about it in Medbay.
Captain's Log, 1312.41
The ship is crippled, all of my deceased crew showed heightened extra-sensory abilities before they succumbed. Gary is still alive and his abilities are the highest of all. He's becoming aggressive and his eyes are an opaque silver. It's unnerving. I'm not sure how much longer we can keep him in observation. He's moving things with his mind, getting in our heads. Bones is spooked. I have to admit.
So am I.
We're as good as dead if we can't repair the impulse power. It's holding for now. We're changing course to Theta Varis, where an old lithium cracking facility might have what we need to make some emergency repairs.
Spock is urging me to leave Mitchell there.
Abandon him? On an uninhabited planet? Gary is my friend and a member of my crew. Personal feelings and history aside, I will not give up on anyone in my crew so easily. Mr. Spock says the only other option is to kill him.
While we still can.
Stardate 1315.23
We had to sedate Mitchell. Constantly. He's getting more powerful. We've reached Theta Varis. Mr. Kelso, Mr. Scott, myself, and Commander Spock will be heading planetside. Kelso and Scott to obtain the necessary items for repairing the ship. Myself and Spock for...detaining Mitchell.
We have no choice.
I have to believe he can be helped. Can be saved. Until we figure out how, I have to leave him behind.
First Officer's Log, Supplmentary
The creature that was once Gary Mitchell has escaped from custody after attacking Captain Kirk and stunning myself. Has used his newfound abilities to force Mr. Lee Kelso to take his own life. Mr. Kelso would have been aware the entire time, begging for his life from what was once a lifelong friend.
It is no longer human, however, it does retain Mitchell's memories. Memories of jealousy over the Captain's prowess at the Academy. Of abuse in their personal history. Of ambition when the Captain obtained his rank. I must locate Jim.
It will torture him. And then make him kill himself too.
...
It has the Captain. Forcing him to relive past traumas. Creating life out of this wasteland with a mere thought. The plasma rifle will no longer harm what it is becoming. It is taking pleasure in watching Jim struggle. Forcing him to his knees. Begging for the lives of his crew. I do not know if Jim is speaking freely, or if this creature is dragging the words out of him by force.
I must create a distraction.
Captain's Log 1315.79
He was himself, at the end. Fought that thing off long enough to beg me to kill him. I took Gary Mitchell's life with the plasma rifle we had originally brought down for security purposes. We buried the dead on Theta Varis. It is too dangerous to even keep their bodies aboard the ship for a proper transfer home.
Not just the dead. My friends. My crew.
I know it is my job to bear this pain. The lives of the rest of my crew depend on it.
Kirk out.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-10 09:04 pm (UTC)"So... this happens often?"
I'm home and at my computer weh! X3
Date: 2016-04-10 09:18 pm (UTC)Jim's confession tells of a man crippled by his own demons. Running and hiding from affection and building his own reputation as a flippant player because it's easier than letting people see what he's really like. It's not entirely a lie either; Felix has seen enough of Jim in the bedroom to know the man is an animal with a desire to match. But that isn't Who He Is. It isn't his entirety. It's one side of a lonely--desperate for any kind of affection no matter how brief--mind.
"It's not always dying. Sometimes it's getting eaten alive on Delta Vega. Or...other things." Phantom hunger pains and starvation. Abuse by those Jim trusted. Abandonment. So much abandonment, accidental and intentional. Jim can't speak of these things to Felix, even though he's trying to be open. It's impossible for him to convince himself after so many years of the opposite being true that Felix won't leave when he knows the truth. All of the truth.
Not even Bones or Spock know all of the truth. No one does. No one but Jim.
"Sorry. It's...it's fine, really. This wasn't even all that bad, by comparison." He's trying to brush it off, but really, how bad can it be if this is brush offable?
Hooray! Rest for the weary traveller! :D
Date: 2016-04-11 01:28 am (UTC)"You said yourself, it's not fine," Felix points out quietly. "But I... I'm glad I know. I mean it, when I say I want to help. To be... to take care of you." Whatever that entails. He has an inkling now that he doesn't really understand that yet. How bad can it get? How much more is there? He may be able to see the shadows but he has no idea how deep they may go.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-11 01:43 am (UTC)But Felix doesn't patronize him, doesn't tell him it's going to be okay when he has no idea. Something inside Jim twists painfully, and he turns, buries his face into the Imperial's neck. But rather than biting, kissing, or licking like Jim is wont to do, he presses his face in the crook of Felix's neck, listens to the man's pulse and breathes deeply.
"I'm sorry." Jim only pulls back a fraction of an inch to speak, lips ghosting over the other's skin. "I want to be whole for you. I do. But I'm not. If you...if you can't...I'll be alright. I'll understand."
no subject
Date: 2016-04-12 12:21 am (UTC)And at the same moment there's Jim, nuzzling into his neck. The feel of his warmth pressing close, the steadying of his breath. The feel of how right this is. This fits, in a way he wasn't looking for, couldn't have planned or hoped for. But he knows already he won't give it up without a fight. He'd have to be an idiot.
"You're not the only one I know who has trouble sleeping," Felix points out. "Soldiers or otherwise." He's quiet for a moment, mustering his words. "Jim... I want you, however many pieces you come in. I don't... I don't know if I'm strong enough, good enough for you, but I want to try. I'm not about to let you go."
no subject
Date: 2016-04-12 01:13 am (UTC)Unfair to hide behind half truths and easy sex to get away from talking.
All of these things are true. But so is that shared sense of right and belonging when Felix pulls Jim close and strokes his back. How they fit together so well, how much Jim wants to be better for the other's sake.
"Many. Sharp and jagged. Rough around the edges. Gaudy colors. But it's yours. Everything. All of me." Whatever Felix asked of him, so long as he stays by Jim's side. "You're fucking perfect...I don't get it."
no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 09:35 pm (UTC)Maybe that's why he sounds so startled when he chuckles. "Perfect? I might wish." He shifts his position, the better to curl around Jim. "You're the hero. The one with all the courage, and principles, and responsibility. I'm just the spoiled brat who loves you."
no subject
Date: 2016-04-13 10:20 pm (UTC)The words make Jim shudder. Whether it's out of fear or excitement he isn't sure. Probably both. Definitely both. The words have definitely sent a thrill down his spine, making Jim pull Felix closer still, flush with him and now he's kissing the other's neck, humming in apparent pleasure of the words.
But they still scare him too. This new unknown territory. The fear of all of this crashing down.
"Not a hero--" Jim murmurs against Felix's neck. "Just a selfish asshole who loves his job." His voice is dropping in octave before Jim returns to showering attention on Felix's neck, licking and sucking at his pulse point with that same hum.
Love.
It's the right word. Jim's known that for a long time. How he feels. To hear Felix use it back...
Yes, Jim has had a bad couple of days. And yes, he'll have more. But he's not alone now. He's not alone.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-16 08:04 pm (UTC)When he can’t take any more, he twists round to pull the captain down under him, onto the bed. Felix leans over him, propping himself on his elbows and burying his fingers in Jim’s hair while he returns the attention. Gods – or daedra – only know how long he’s dealt with his burdens alone, but Felix is more than willing to try and make up for lost time.
Who knows, Jim may even get some rest.