Suit up (Literally!) It's a Birthday Bash! (For Verity and Clint)

[smartass_captain]

Guess who's back in the Nexus. Well, mostly back in the Nexus. Jim is standing outside his world's door and calling Verity's phone.

What? Genius level repeat offender remember? He bought a phone in the Nexus and got her Number from Clint's phone a while ago.

It's the morning of October first. The Nexus' resident lie detector is getting a call from an unknown Nexus number. Does he have to leave a voice mail message?

Comments

[brave_heart_verity]

He could always come running with Verity. She's working on high-altitude endurance running right now. Fun times.

"Nothing wrong with a classic." Although... "You still have fast food in the future? So disappointing." She is definitely not going to be in on sneaking that shit to him anytime soon. Doesn't mean he won't get burgers, they'll just be better ones. "So, burgers and barbeque. I will keep that in mind."

[aw_hawkguy]

Clint nods appreciatively at Jim's preference, grinning. "We're gonna hafta get a grill--or build one."

[smartass_captain]

He really should get introduced and then slapped/punched/shot by Samus one of these days. And then join Verity for her workouts. He'd like the activity. Not the beatings. Those are a necessary lesson in opening his mouth around the bounty hunter carelessly.

"Course we do. Replicators were originally made for convenience food. Tailoring them to dietary needs came later. The ones on the ship are so nutritionally calibrated they have to go through like six checks before we can reprogram one for treats--like Christmas cookies or the like."

Clint gets a raised eyebrow.

"When you say build a grill, do you mean like a grill or like a robot you beat up and is roasting in a pit giving off so much heat it'd be a waste not to use it."

[brave_heart_verity]

Verity will arrange this. If it makes him feel better, she'll get knocked around just as much, although for friendlier reasons.

"At least it won't be hard to impress you with my cooking." Not that that would have been difficult in the first place. "They really don't even want to let you have Christmas cookies?"

Don't make her laugh when she's drinking coffee, hot coffee up the nose is no fun.

[aw_hawkguy]

Clint laughs. "Man, you never wanna grill over a busted robot. Knowing my luck, Ultron'd find some way to hack the burgers and turn 'em into mind-control cyber-food, or somethin'."

[smartass_captain]

"He can do that?" That's not cool. The burgers are already Skrulls he doesn't want to have to worry about eating robots too.

"What is wrong with your world, seriously."

[brave_heart_verity]

"Clint." He's getting a sharp-toed kick under the table and one hell of a disappointed-sister glare.

"No, Jim, it's okay. It's okay, I'd be able to tell. Remember? We wouldn't let anything like that happen to you." In other words: yes, he could probably do that.

[aw_hawkguy]

"Ow!" Clint exclaims, cringing under that glare. "That's why I said we don't."

[smartass_captain]

"Well, I mean. They've got bugs here they can make you eat that hijack your brain. Sort of the same thing, I'd guess." Jim grimaces. They'd done that to Pike.

"So..yeah. No grilling on robots. Sorry I joked about it."

[brave_heart_verity]

"That's... okay, no more jokes about that. Official rule." That is gruesome sounding, even to someone used to a world full of Skrullburgers and telepaths and who knows what.

"We'll just keep away from damaged robots for a lot of reasons."

[aw_hawkguy]

"That's a good plan. Also, ew."

[smartass_captain]

"So, how do you build a grill, anyway?" Jim are you really from Iowa if you can't tackle a DIY build?

"How many secret talents do you have anyway, Barton?"

[brave_heart_verity]

DIY isn't her forte so she'll lean back to watch the light show while the boys plan a grill they're going to build...

Wait.

"Where are we building this?"

[aw_hawkguy]

"Well, it depends. We could saw a barrel in half, put on legs and hinges, and move it around, or we could get all fancy and build a brick one somewhere." Looking to Verity, he adds, "that depends--got a preference?"

[smartass_captain]

"Wouldn't the barrel, you know, catch fire? Even if you treated it, that's still kind of risky for people like us who explode things by touching them."

Bricks seem safer, and more weaponly in the event of a robot invasion when they need ammunition for blunt force trauma.

[brave_heart_verity]

She shrugs as she has no preferences where it goes. Not her place, that... just wouldn't work. Would a big brick grill be allowed on his roof in Bed-Stuy?

"I think he means a metal barrel," she points out quietly.

[aw_hawkguy]

"Metal barrel, yeah." Surely, the most entertaining place for a big, brick grillbeast is one of the cargo holds of the Enterprise!

[smartass_captain]

It would be until the smoke made Scotty have ten heart attacks and interfered with their equipment and sensors. (Jim would still say its a good idea but he would be incorrect).

"Oh, oh. Yeah. That'd be easy to saw in half. Get a plasma cutter, weld on a grate and some wheels and you'd be set." Crude, but definitely effective.

"We could wheel it around the Nexus and sell burgers for kicks." Jim laughs because wouldn't that be a sight.

[brave_heart_verity]

"That's... an option. You know you can buy grills, right?"

Mansplaining about how that's not as good in three, two...

[aw_hawkguy]

"Well, yeah, we could just buy one," Clint admits. "But then we wouldn't've made it."