Veilguarding - an open post for DAV AU shenanigans

[smartass_captain]

It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it. Masterpost for Dragon Age Veilguard AU overflow + psls

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[smartass_captain]

All Illario's careful observations reveal is the same man he's always been since the very first he laid eyes on the blonde Warden who strolled up to the Cantori Diamond months ago now looking for Illario's kin who should have been dead. A bit more haggard than he was then. More tired. More haunted. Minrathous was still whole when they met. Weisshaupt still stood.

Yet Rook is still going, despite the losses. Starlit blue eyes flick up to regard Illario over the rim of his cup when he laughs.

"Glad. Really." Not quite the answer Rook was expecting. It stops the furrow in his brow from deepening. Lets him pause to take a sip of the coffee himself--and then make a soft sound of surprised approval when he recognizes the taste. Lucanis had introduced this blend to him once--Jim's certain. He really likes it.

"Ah." And here Jim reaches back into his pack to pull the letter out again. This time he sets it down on the table between them. He slides it over diagonally from his spot across the mid point to Illario's side of the table. "Not quite. Though I suppose that's obvious with me here." There's some truth to it all. Jim isn't here to see Catarina, isn't here for his own curiosity to walk the halls of House Dellamorte. He's here for Illario.

Lucanis worried how they would treat his cousin even as he hurts for what the man has attempted to do. A man he cannot quite face directly just yet. A man he cannot believe he was so wrong about and who may be beyond redemption, insofar as such a thing is even possible for someone like them. This was never supposed to be how their lives played out. Either of them.

Jim doesn't have any of that baggage. So here he is. Sipping coffee and watching Illario.

"Read it. I mean, you're not wrong in a sense."

[the_other_dellamorte]

Rook is a good man. Illario clocked that immediately on their first meeting - and that had been the downfall of everything. A bad man might have been prepared to let Treviso fall into Illario's hands because the whole was more important than the little details. But Rook saw things that needed fixing- with Lucanis, with Treviso, and he meddled. If he had left things be, Lucanis would still be able to go save the world, but it would be Illario running the Crows.

And having to cull both Venatori and Antaam at the same time. Probably not something he could handle- and Lucanis would probably not forgive him for his betrayal.

He probably never would anyway.

"Yes, glad." He repeats, and while he would say thank you, sincerely for Rook's hand in freeing Lucanis, he does not think Rook will believe him. Still... "I did not know Lucanis was alive. Or the state he was being kept in. Zara kept that from me, and if I had known what she had done? It would have changed things."

He wants to tell Rook that some of his best memories at working with Lucanis. Hunting Venatori in Minrathous or Vyrantium. They had faced the world with only themselves to rely on. But Rook won't believe him. Who would? Lucanis probably wouldn't either.

He watches Rook pull the letter free and slide it across the table, unfolding it and reading it silently, a pucker appearing bbetween his brows at how... un-Lucanis-like it sounds. It's his cousin's handwriting and no mistake, but it sounds like Caterina.

He sighs, sets the letter down and the rubs at the bridge of his nose. It disturbs a little bit of his make-up, but he doesn't notice nor care.

"I will of course obey Lucanis' wishes. You are a guest here in Treviso and it is my honour to be host in Lucanis' stead. I am afraid anywhere you wish to go that is currently... closed off to me you will have to go alone."

[smartass_captain]

"Don't know why I would. Visit the places you're forbidden to I mean. Unless Lucanis wants me to catch up with someone else while I'm here sometime. I go where You go, while I'm here." Rook's fingertip taps against the side of his cup while he watches Illario.

"You thought he was dead. And that's supposed to be better." It would have been. Jim knows. He's seen the notes scattered throughout the Ossuary. Fought some of the abominations and demons that had been tormented into creation. Found the bodies, or what was left of them, of those either luckier or unluckier than Lucanis and Spite. It makes Jim's chest seize suffocatingly tight in his chest. Remembering that place. And he was only there the one day.

"I know what she did to him. I know what kind of place you condemned him to." His gaze hardens. "Lucanis can't talk about it sober, easily. But I can tell you everything I saw." What you did to him.

[the_other_dellamorte]

That shouldn't cause the soft noise of amusement that it does, because it's probably meant kindly. I go where you go would even sound romantic, in the right circumstances. Ah Rook, far too handsome and far too good a man, Illario would have once loved to seduce him. Now? He knows better than to even think on it.

"I'm afraid my time is mostly spent in this library, or the courtyard for exercise, or my room. You may find the scenery a little repetitive."

He tries to keep his voice light, easy, apologetic for how boring this must all be, for what Rook must endure. But when Rook's tone becomes sombre and he paints the bleak picture, Illario pulls his eyes away from the Warden and instead focuses his attention on picking a loose thread from the sofa cushions.

"Is that what you came here to do?" He murmurs, not looking back at Rook yet, still focused on that thread. "Do you not think I have imagined it a thousand times since I found out he was alive? Don't you think each time I imagine something worst than the last? Do you think I don't have nightmares about what he had to face? What I did to him?"

His jaw tightens then, fingers plucking and tugging at the thread, yanking it loose and leaving a small rent in the fabric.

"Tell me then. Tell me every detail, leave nothing out."

[smartass_captain]

"I think you overestimate just how much free time I have." It must be quite repetitive for Illario, of course, but Jim's not terribly sympathetic about it. Insofar as prisons go this is downright grandiose. Rook sips at the coffee. He's a little sad Lucanis isn't here to enjoy this, if nothing else. He watches Illario pluck at his clothing. A tiny vicious part of him thinks 'Good'. This shouldn't be easy for Illario to hear. If he feels guilty then at least he's still himself enough o feel remorse for what he's done.

Or maybe he's just uncomfortable over the fact he'd been caught. Time will tell.

"I came here to get a read on you, and I can't do that if you don't even know what you did, really. I think that no matter how lucrative your imagination is in this case? It wouldn't match the truth." Rook is staring Illario down when the Crow finally peers back at him. Nods slowly at the instruction.

"They bled him first to make a phylactery, I imagine. If their experiments were successful they'd need a way to control the demon they birthed inside of Lucanis. Mage or no, for a Venatori blood offers no shortage of possibilities for power and control over another. My guess is they got their hands on Southern Templar instructional books and adapted them for their own uses."

Jim remembers all too well the trepidation he, Neve, and Lace had felt while exploring the Ossuary. The fear of the whole of the ocean crashing down on them should the wardings fail. The smell of blood and sand and sea water mixing. Underneath it all the scent of ozone for how weak the veil was with all the ripping into the Fade being done here.

"They seed their captives somehow, break their will to resist through torture and magic ritual alike. Almost none of them were mages. The purpose was to birth new varieties of demons more nuanced than the ones we think of. Despair? No. Regret, Isolation, Agony, Loss. Hundreds of bodies in the Failures, who even knows how many spirits ripped to shreds being shorn from the Fade. And most of them benign. Only twisted and misshapen by what was done to them. The successes were taken back to Tevinter once they shed the husks of the people they were incubated within."

Jim appreciates the warmth of the mug in his hands. The scent of coffee to help ground him. If it is so difficult for him to relive having only visited? He can't imagine Lucanis trying to speak of that place.

"Lucanis was deemed a failure, but he was something of a pet project. For an entire year he lived in that place. I've spoken to Bellara and Emmerich about it. We hypothesize that a spirit needs to be compatible somehow with the living. It's why demons try to trick or get drawn to the living. For someone to fall prey to a demon they have to have some desire or principle that resonates with the spirit being attracted. I don't know how many spirits failed to connect with Lucanis. But Spite did. Determination, once. I've heard a compassion Spirit call him that on more than one occasion. Knowing Lucanis...well. I'm sure you see how fitting it is."

His gaze pierces into Illario.

"If you want to know what I think? Lucanis had too much of both to give in to the spirit. No matter how much pain it caused him lashing out. Spite can make him bleed internally if he thrashes too much. Can take over Lucanis--most frequently when he sleeps. Locked away in a cell like he was, it wasn't much of a threat. But they came to an Accord. I didn't have to release him from his cell. When I got there, Lucanis was already free of his bindings and wreaking havoc on the Ossuary. I knew how to get him Out. Get him Home. We destroyed his phylactery, then everything left in the Ossuary. I took every scrap of note I could find in both the hope of saving Lucanis and so no one could replicate this work. Smashed every bit of equipment I could get my hands on."

Jim's lips thin as he finishes his tale.

"That blood magic you got your hands on might have evened the odds in our fight somewhat, but it was used to take Everything from your cousin. In ways I don't know if he'll ever be free of."

[the_other_dellamorte]

Illario resists the urge to raise a brow when Rook says he wants to get a read on him. He should be able to do that without making Illario listen to the tale, but perhaps this is all about seeing if he is truly sorry for what he's done, to Lucanis and possibly the rest of Thedas. How he is meant to show that is a little beyond him, because how is he meant to show that he would give anything to have Lucanis back whole and healthy? How much he would do to rid his cousin of the burden on his shoulders?

But rather than say that, or assume he knows all that can be said on the matter, he shuts his mouth and listens. He had oft imagined the Ossuary- dark and full of that unpleasant static like the Wigmaker's workshop, the send of death and blood and decay enough to make you gag.

It sounds worse than that. They are trained to die, as Crows. They live because they were smarter or faster than their opponents, or sometimes just luckier. They have been tortured, starved, beaten by their own flesh abd bloos but the Ossuary is something different again even from the horrors Caterina could dream up. He tries not to think of how Lucanis must have felt- abandoned and lost, but still determined. Not broken completely, because even though they forced a demon into him, he had ebough Determination, or perhaps it was Spite, to escape again.

He should never have been in that situation. Illario shouldn't have betrayed him. He'd felt it had been deserved at the time, that Lucanis had betrayed him first. It had poisoned him and almost killed Lucanis.

And it was his fault.

He takes a breath, trying to stop the weight of Jim's words and that guilt and the horrors of the Ossuary- and what Lucanis now endures- from drowining him. Truly it might be better if he did drown. Better for him but would that help Lucanis?

He takes another breath, and another, thoughts spiraling. He only snaps back when Rook says blood magic on your hands and he feels sick, heart, head and stomach.

He wants to say "how do I fix it?" But Rook can't know fhe naswer to that. He doesn't have every answer, and this is something Illario must figure out himself. Figure out and attone for, if he can.

[smartass_captain]

Being a Grey Warden isn't a glamorous job. It's not an enviable career and even when volunteers do come forward, there's no guarantee they'll survive the Initiation into the order. Wanting to be a Warden isn't enough to guarantee one's body capable of withstanding the corruption it takes to Be one. So is it any wonder that Wardens recruit from prisons? Take the worst dregs society has to offer and tries to reforge them into something worthy of living?

Jim Kirk watches Illario Dellamorte from across the table. He's seen men with blacker hearts than this Crow's look just as ill when the true horror of their crimes was brought to light. Most often when similar crimes were committed against their fellow Wardens. Whatever connection Illario had with the Venatori, it doesn't seem to have poisoned him of the concept of empathy. The Crows may have clipped his wings, but to Jim?

He's not worth giving up on entirely just yet.

Warden or no though, Jim's only human. A spiteful anger sits balled up in his chest because the person Illario has most wronged is one of Jim's friends. He doesn't want to admit the Crow deserves the time or chance at redemption. But if he says as much, it's likely Illario won't live to see the next sunrise, let alone the next season.

"...So I think you can understand why it's a little difficult for Lucanis to sit down himself and face you just yet."

[the_other_dellamorte]

Illario nods mutely at that. He wouldn't force Lucanis to come to see him, knowing now what he does. It was bad, but he had really no idea of the true extent of Lucanis' suffering. Part of him wishes he didn't, just so he could hate himself a little less, but he had to know. He can't fix it if he doesn't know how broken they are.

He takes a moment to reach out for the coffee, the fine porcelain rattling slightly before he grits his teeth and gets himself under control. He's well aware not only of Jim, but of the two assassins still in audience, well aware their daggers are so sharp he would not feel them pierce him. He could be bleeding out now and not know it.

"I understand why he would not wish to." He says slowly, working hard to keep his voice steady. "And I would not blame him for never wanting to see me again."

Whatever Lucanis opts to do, Illario will submit to. He is not only the First Talon, but the oldest of them. Lucanis was always in charge, even if it was not official.

"I... if he has instructions for me, he does not have to deliver them in person. I will follow them to the letter, whatever they may be."

If Lucanis wants every tiny detail about the Venatori, Illario will provide them. If he wants Illario to go fight on the front lines, he will go. If he wants Illario to fall on his own knives, he will do so. He is sure Rook will pass that on.

[smartass_captain]

"For now? He wants you to keep having coffee with me, once a week or so, whenever I can get the time to sit down."

Which means Illario best still be alive for this to happen is the implication that Rook doesn't say out loud. Jim swirls his fingertip along the rip of his coffee cup but his eyes never leave Illario's. No one's thinking that it all but guarantees Jim Kirk will sit his ass down and halfway relax for an hour or so at a time, at least not yet. It certainly doesn't Feel like a reprieve of his duties in the moment for Rook. But given time? Who knows. The Warden and former Crow may yet find common ground.

"I assume that means he'd also like you to answer my questions, but if you want that in writing I'll be happy to oblige."

Sip.

He's not quite glaring, but well. Jim's a bit bristly still.

[the_other_dellamorte]

"Then we will have coffee, Rook. I know Cafe Pietra would be more than happy to oblige us eith a bag of their best for your visits." Illario says, because being the favoured providers of coffee for both Lucanis and Rook is a marketing dream.

Keeping his own name out of it will be best of course, but the servants will arrange things. They did today after all.

"If you have questions Rook, you do not need a writ from my cousin. Ask them. I will do my best to be helpful."

There's no small effort in putting charm into his voice, trying to make himself sound the suave and capable assassin again, not the rat he feels like. He only hopes that the questions are nothing like how did it feel to be the Venatori Witch's gigolo? but he's not going to put money on that, considering the steel in Rook's expression.

[smartass_captain]

"I'd like that." Jim admits. It's not much of one, given how obvious his approval of the coffee has been every time he's visited. But it's a start. An easing of the outermost of his walls if only just.

There's a part of Jim that's relieved beyond words that Illario seems to be willing to go along with this. That he seems to Get things a hell of a lot more than he did before. It makes the spiteful poison in his guts a little weaker.

"The Venatori and the Antaam are working together to keep Treviso under occupation. What was your role in that? What are they planning next?"

[the_other_dellamorte]

When Rook says he'd like that, it seems genuine enough. Enough for something of a smile, although uncertain, to briefly appear on Illario's features, as if for once he's been told he did the right thing. But it's schooled away quickly, and he takes care to tend his coffee a moment, rather than seem too pleased that Rook would like anything he might do. That Lucanis might approve.

Because then, only a few breaths afterwards, comes another accusation. What was your part in that? What did you do now, Illario? Useless boy.

But once more, his features are schooled rapidly, because he isn't the useless boy they all think he is. Although, truly, Rook might well think he is.

"I did not know they were working together. Everything I was aware of had to do with the Venatori, I... thought I had invited them here to deal with the Antaam. There was no indication they were connected." That is the truth. The Antaam had come months ago, not long after Lucanis' so-called death, and it had been a surprise to them - well, perhaps not Caterina. She and the other Talons seemed to have almost... expected it. But Illario? He had not. "But Daathrata- the Butcher- he will not go. I know that much, I have met with him. Treviso is his, in his eyes, and he will not return to the Qun."

He understood why, at least. Daathrata did not want to be a prisoner as much as Illario. In Treviso, he was free.

[smartass_captain]

"You invite a cat in to deal with a rat problem, unaware the pair of them are running a racket to keep you and your people offering more and more for 'protection' from the problem they're creating." Jim murmurs from his side of the table. It took a bit of digging to find out the Venatori and Antaam were working together, but not so much that Rook thinks the Crows couldn't have uncovered this on their own had they only tried.

Was someone keeping them from looking into it? His fingers drum against the wooden finish of the table while he thinks.

"I'll deal with him." Rook promises. Because that's what James Kirk has become. The single minded bloody answer to problems that seem too large to go away through conventional means. He'll carve away the chains that keep Treviso under occupation one Antaam at a time if he has to. More scars to join the rest. More sleepless nights spent fighting instead of living. There won't be a tomorrow to live For if Rook and his band of misfits doesn't overthrow the gods.

"I have to, if I'm going to challenge Elgar'Nan and Ghilan'nain." Rook says and he does not hold reverence in his voice when he speaks the old names. It is not because he is a human facing Elvhen gods but because these gods were once mages corrupted by the power they wielded like so many corrupt leaders have before. If Jim gives them the respect they demand then they have already won a small victory from him. So he will not bow, will not bend, and cannot break until his task is complete.

[the_other_dellamorte]

And once more Rook is promising to fix another of Treviso's problems. It isn't his problem to fix, it is Illario's, one he made worse even if he didn't cause it. The fact Rook cares so much is unexpected, but of course he will be doing it for Lucanis and for his allies. And the innocent people of Treviso, because Rook seems to be the sort of man who thinks of them too.

"I could handle Daathrata. If you and Lucanis wish it." He offers, not expecting that he will be granted such an indulgence, but he has to suggest it. "Despite what they call him, he isn't a monster."

He just wanted to be free. But don't they all? As Illario looks at the man across from him, he sees a man holding back a dam with his own back.

"You aren't alone in this. You have allies. Let them take some of the strain."

[smartass_captain]

"No? So what he's doing to the people of Treviso is Antaam kindness?" He says the last word as though it is the most filthy of slurs, fingertips still drumming on the table to bely his nerves. Rook would love to solve more problems without violence but that isn't a luxury he's often afforded.

"I promised Caterina I would rescue Lucanis. I promised Lucanis I would look after you. And I promised Teia and Viago that I would help them root out who allowed in the Antaam threat to entrench myself as an ally of Antiva and her Crows." Jim offers with the kind of determination that says to him? The end result is already a foregone conclusion. He gave his word to do these things, and so he will. Or he'll die trying.

"What are you thinking, for the Butcher? Daathrata, you called him?"

[the_other_dellamorte]

"In comparision to what it could be? Yes." Illario says. He doesn't like it, knows it isn't kindness but it isn't the brutality of what had happened to Ventus. Illario knows that while Treviso is suffering, it cpuld be far, far worse. And in part, that is because Daathrata loves the city, and destroying it would hurt him too.

But he doesn't think he has the time to explain to Rook how he knows this- the feeling in his chest, the years of following a cause that never lets you be yourself... but perhaps Rook understands, because opposite him is a man dedicated to a cause. And it is breaking him.

"I know - you have promised that and more. Not just here but to the Shadow Dragons and the Lords of Fortune, and any number of other people. They need to support your efforts too, Rook."

He knows Rook will say they are. But they could do more. They could help this man not drive himself to pieces on the rocks.

"Daathrata is his... name? Role? What he was, in the Qun. The Butcher he uses to make people fear him. I am not frightened of him. If Lucanis and you say to kill him, I wil do so. Or we can offer him sanctuary here. Send the Antaam away, and Treviso can be his home, if he wishes. He would be a useful ally against the Old Gods."

[smartass_captain]

"This isn't kindness." Jim replies quietly. "They might think as much, and Daathrata may even believe it but it's nothing more than a convenient lie to make the truth less ugly. These people are left starving and stolen from. Herded like cattle. Is being caged and waiting for the axe to fall supposed to be a mercy? Because they could raze the city and end these peoples' suffering if they only wished to??"

Jim shakes his head.

"It's disgusting. These are people we're talking about. I don't know if it's greed or desperation that turned the Antaam to the elven gods but it's made them lose sight of some basic truths." Or maybe it hasn't. There aren't many Qunari wardens, and most were raised here in Thedas by deserters. Jim's heard whispers about the brutality of the Qunari, yet the ones he's met have all been....people.

"Factions and alliances are the only way we'll have enough bodies to make a difference." Jim answers. "Everyone's in need right now. So we work in pairs most often, three if it's a big ask. And we help who we can." Yet Jim is here alone. Because He can't afford to do less than the others.

"Teia wants him dead, Viago says - and I agree in this case - that killing him means nothing if he could be replaced with another despot. Someone arranged for this to be possible and that's who I mean to go after. Only once we've dealt with Antiva's traitors will neutralizing this butcher mean anything for the peoples' safety even in the immediate."

[the_other_dellamorte]

Rook is an idealist. The world needs that, they all need that, when everything around them is so dark and cruel. In this moment, listening to Rook speak, the tired, honest, eager, brave man that he is, Illario wishes he could believe in kindness like the Warden means.

But he knows that men like Rook are rare. They are Black Swans, a beautiful fiction. To find one is a miracle and Thedas needs miracles.

So he swallows down over thirty years of Crow life, of pain and death, murder and sex for coin, for power. He swallows down all he has sacrificed for strangers, for the Dellamorte name, and he swallows down all his own sins. He is not a good man. He is not kind. He is not capable of thinking of the greater good in the same way Rook clearly is.

But he has to make the attempt. With whatever time he has left until Caterina decides to make Lucanis' choice for him, or his cousin comes to his senses, he has to do something to rebalance the scales.

"I will kill him then. And try to discover who betrayed Treviso. I... do not think that I can do that well. My reputation is, as you know, rightly ruined. But I can still sneak, and spy. If you permit me to do so."

[smartass_captain]

"If it comes down to that being the best option? I'll gladly let you take that job." Jim offers. it is not easy to delegate murder. Feels like Jim's allowing himself to become desensitized to the lives on his hands. But at the end of the day he is One Man and there are so many throats that need to be cut to stop the gods from gaining even more power than they already have.

His arrows are pointed to the Evanuris first and foremost.

"Illario Dellamorte's reputation might be ruined, but the Crows taught you how to sneak and lie and spy, didn't they? You're no longer a Crow, so you're not bound by their rules. I'm sure they won't let you do unsupervised in some respect, but maybe all you need is a disguise. You are Antivan. You can pose as any walk of life with some time and effort. A lot easier than I could. See what you can find."

[the_other_dellamorte]

Illario's eyes flick uncertainly from Rook to the guard in the shadows behind the couches, wondering exactly what Viago and Teia will make of this. Will they approve of Rook's suggestion? He is being kept under lock and key, he has at least two pairs of eyes on him every waking moment, and he doubts that will change.

But if Rook and Lucanis demand he earn his keep, then he will serve. If they send him out, he is no loss to them if he dies. In fact, that is probably a boon.

"Very well. I will sneak and spy, on whatever target you and the First Talon decree."

He is no longer a Crow. It is true. It hurts, but this is the bed he made. And if he can still work like a Crow maybe his life does still have some purpose. It is entertaining, in its way, how he is a man woth no purpose at all, sat opposite a man with a most incredible and terrifying one.

[smartass_captain]

"I'll see Teia and Viago on my way out then. And speak with Lucanis as soon as he's back from his mission, if he hasn't beaten me back to our base already." Jim has kept his explanation of their means of getting around brief. Enough to discourage random people from trying to use the eluvians without one of their party present, or try to destroy them. But little more lest any knives find their ways into the team's backs.

The Lighthouse is meant to be--needs to be a safe space for them to rest. Gather their strength. If the gods or their lackeys find their way there? Jim might as well jump off and save the gods the trouble of killing him.

Though he's not even certain it Would kill him if he did. But it is his last resort plan. Either escape into the fade or die rather than be taken prisoner.

"Expect a missive before tonight." Rook drags his hand through his hair, further messing it from its styling. He wishes he had more coffee but truth be told he doesn't need it the way he jitters. He's been running on it as bad as Lucanis has for the last week.

[the_other_dellamorte]

Illario is used to working at pace. He can travel fast, on foot or on horseback, or sail if he must, although that hardly gets you anywhere quickly. In Rook, he can see a man who shares that: who has had to move very fast to try and handle everything thrown at him, who has not one contract on the go but several dozen, and it is taking its toll. It isn't hard to see that, if you are used to looking at people. It worries him that while Rook is capable, intelligent, and reflective, he is also working himself to death. Should that catch up with him before the job is done, who will take over in his stead? Lucanis? The other Warden? The Tevinter detective?

Whatever hide-out their saviour returns to, Illario hopes someone else will be on watch. He hopes Lucanis will spot all the signs Illario has, that despite all the things Lucanis must also contend with, he allows Rook to rest, at least for a few hours. That might not stave off the long-term effects, but perhaps it might make the man feel a little better in his own skin.

"I will await your orders," Illario says, as he puts his cup back on the tray, careful not to let concern into his voice. He dare not ask for Rook to rest, to wait till dawn to send out the missive, because he knows that time is of the essence. He knows too, that their relationship is not that sort: they are not friends, he is merely an agent for Rook and Lucanis' will, and even then, not trusted with anything sensitive. Even so, as Rook looks like he is ready to depart, words jump to Illario's lips unbidden.

"Be careful. Not just of the dangers you face, but what you put yourself through."