Veilguarding - an open post for DAV AU shenanigans

[smartass_captain]

It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it. Masterpost for Dragon Age Veilguard AU overflow + psls

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[smartass_captain]

"Yeah. Pretty much only come in here to sleep or...well. Talk to Solas." Jim rolls his eyes at the last. He's not sure if he's explained to Illario yet about the elven god he's connected to in his head or not, but that's a topic for another time regardless. There's no way Jim could string the words needed together right now to try and explain the situation.

Some tension in Jim's shoulders ease to see Illario make for the bedroll. He follows suit habitually and tugs off his shirt to toss over the back of the sofa on the way. Off go the boots, a rustle and a clink later his belt gets chucked aside to leave his trousers loosely open and then Jim's settled down on the bedroll half undressed and sighing for his love's touch while he obliges Illario.

His fingers reach back to untie the other's hair habitually, then drag through the dark locks. He squints a little at the question, but doesn't seem upset by it at all, really. Just confused.

"Yeah. I keep him appraised of the situation best I can. Not like he can be out there with us, these days." Not on his bad leg. Not with Bianca busted like she is. He's safer here, and Jim knows it's killing the dwarf to have to be on the sidelines.

[the_other_dellamorte]

Illario doesn't think to take off his clothes. The Anderfells are cold and he's never felt - well, that's a lie. When he was dying before Jim got him to the Wardens, he'd felt the most intense cold he'd ever known sink right into his bones. But nights in Lavendel had been so cold that he'd gotten used to staying in his clothes, or piling more on, to try and sleep without freezing. He curls up now close to Jim, not only to enjoy his heat but to be close to the man he'd missed so much.

"You'll have to explain about the elven god of lies in the morning. Once I've had at least two coffees." He says, relaxing as Jim undoes the low ponytail, contentment floosing him. This is where he should be.

"It's understandable, to miss him like you do. I never met him but I have been told stories. Teia thought very highly of him."

[smartass_captain]

Jim squints harder in the darkness. His confusion only seems to grow.

"Once he gets better, I'm sure he'd make it out to see Teia again. And, I mean, I can introduce you tomorrow if you want. He's usually in the infirmary unless we're doing some big plan." It's not the first time someone has said something so dissonantly Weird about Varric. Like he's not even there. But like every other time, the thought bleeds away to a reluctant acceptance.

He's not the dwarf he once was, Jim knows. And he's certainly not going to be out there saving the world like he's been for decades. That falls on Jim these days, in his stead. Pretty impossible shoes to fill.

"He does tell th'best stories though..." Jim admits quietly. "You'd like him."

[the_other_dellamorte]

Illario moves, and presses the gentlest of kisses to Jim's brow. The way he speaks, it's as if he doesn't know the truth. As if the acceptance of it hasn't happened yet, as if something is blocking him from starting that journey of grief. Perhaps it's the stress of everything, the fight against the gods, and the pressure of also having to deal with Illario being Blighted, on top of everything else.

"I know she'd like that, when the time comes for them to meet again. But he might have to stay here, and she can come to him." He says, the words soft and carefully chosen. If Varric's spirit is here, if he is in the Fade somewhere, why not the Crossroads, the Lighthouse? His bond with Jim was strong, as was the dwarf's will. What if Jim really can see him and speak to him, and the rest of them simply... can't?

"I already do, amore. He helped you become the man I love. I want to hear all the stories of your adventures together."

[smartass_captain]

"Careful, he nicknames everyone. He's been calling you 'Casanova' since I admitted to him I was seeing someone. Might change when he meets you for real, but it might already be too late."

Jim smiles a little, quietly amused and happy with the idea of Illario meeting Varric. With Illario being here at the Lighthouse. With him. As the Antivan curls closer, Jim feels his sleep pulling him down.

"S'how...I got...t'be called 'Rook'...after all..."

The words wink in and out. Soft mumbles and nothing more.

[the_other_dellamorte]

"Casanova huh? Maybe he doesn't need to think of a different nickname, that one is pretty apt."

He feels Jim begin to drift towards sleep, and he kisses him again, as soft as the touch of a butterfly's wings. He needs his rest, he hasn't had any proper sleep for days from the way Taash and Harding described it. He doesn't stop talking through, murmuring softly in the quiet room.

It takes him a while to realise, but he's retelling Hard in Hightown, Varric's bestseller. It's just what was in his head, and he tells it almost all the way through, until sleep claims him too.

[smartass_captain]

Forget the oddity in the Antivan's speech. Forget your suspicions. Forget how no one but you notices or interacts with Varric, and how hurt it makes you.

Blood magic can manipulate the mind in so many ways. In the grand scheme of things, hiding what Solas wants James Tiberius Kirk to do in the guise of their mutual deceased friend whom the human is so much more likely to listen to is not even a difficult trick of the mind. Rook wants to believe Varric is alive and thus it need not be the most complicated of spells. Jim does half the work for him. The rest is coaxing his mind to ignore the parts it does not want to see in the first place.

Child's play for one known as the god of trickery, deceit, and lies.

And perhaps it gives Solas a sense of absolution, too, to have even this figment of Varric alive in someone's heart. Able still to act in the world and effect change. He feels guilt every time the dwarf speaks to Jim. Regret for how it all ended, even though he was in the right. Varric did not have to die when he did. But as actions have unfolded Solas needs someone to act in his stead out in the world. And thus, Rook.

It does not matter to Solas if Rook takes care of himself or not. By and large mortals are replaceable. Should something happen to the Warden there are other, less desirable options. But his lover is here (another avenue to manipulate the man by) and thus Jim sleeps long and deep. Too exhausted for even his nightmares to reach him on this night.

He is safe in Illario's arms.

Safe enough he does not rouse as he would usually when Emmerich quietly steps in on his way downstairs to check on Jim's condition. It is a relief to see him at rest. He will let Lucanis know that Rook and Illario are still asleep so the Crow will put something covered aside to keep warm for them for breakfast.

[the_other_dellamorte]

In the future, Illario will kick himself for not realising sooner, for not knowing. He shoukd have recognised the signs, seen them for what they were. He had not manipulated someone with blood magic in such a way- his control had always been over the physical rather than the mental, but as far as mere mortals went he was not bad at manipulation. He is also perhaps the one who spends most time with Jim. All of those parts of the puzzle should have connected sooner.

But for that night, they rest. Illario keeps Jim pulled in close, protected in his arms. He can't always be here, he will have to go back to Lavendel but for the time being he will be here for his man, the better part of himself, the whole of his heart.

There's no change of the light to mark the change of night to dark. Illario senses someone come and go but they don't come close enough to trigger his Crow reactions and Emmrich doesn't get a knife thrown at his throat.

They wake when they're done sleeping, whatever time it is. Illario, unsurprisingly wakes before Jim, but stays cuddled up with him, content, until Jim stirs.

[smartass_captain]

Given Solas' purported loathe of blood magic, his relatively light touch with the magic does make it that much harder to detect. If Neve, Bellara, and Emmerich cannot sense it then Illario should not expect himself to. But that is not how matters of the heart work. By logic. And for all his steadfast stubbornness. His resilience. Is not perfect. He doesn't even notice the magic working through him and thus has nothing to fight against.

Jim sleeps deep. He sleeps soundly. He doesn't react to Emmerich checking on them, nor to the voices in the shared commons that drift up as it gets later in the morning. Jim sleeps until his body deems him rested and--perhaps unsurprisingly--when it decides it needs a meal. Illario has been curled up listening to Jim sleep now for at least an hour, possibly longer. But finally the Marcher stirs and grumbles something about food before his shoulders hunch a little and a full body yawn escapes him. His eyes peek open with the unwilling groan of the wakeful. Lazy in a way Jim never is any other time.

"Mmmm...s'warm..." He gives a happy little sigh. Then stops and peers over his shoulder. "Bello, you awake?"

[the_other_dellamorte]

Solas is very good at what he does; there is no doubt about it. But that doesn't mean Illario will forgive himself any quicker for failing to spot it. He knows something isn't quite right, but working put its blood magic, or orchestrated by Solas? That's beyond him, with everything piling in on top of them.

He does doze lightly after it's clear Jim is taking this welcome opportunity to rest, the warmth and relief of having his lover close making him sink back into sleep, curled up close. When Jim eventually does stir, so does Illario, but he's immediately awake and aware; there's no soft easing into wakefulness for a Crow.

Jim speaks, his voice still full of sleep and sweet dreams, and Illario nuzzles into his shoulder. His arms move around Jim's middle to stroke over his chest and stomach, tender in his touch.

"Si, amore mio." He says, before shifting enough to drag himself up and lean over to kiss Jim. "I think you want breakfast, hm? I'm sure the others will have left us something."

[smartass_captain]

"Feels nice..." Jim murmurs. He turns on the bedroll enough to let Illario nuzzle against him for a kiss. The feels even better. Maker help him, Jim doesn't remember the last time he felt so rested and lazy. The thought of just going Back to bed was strong, if his stomach wasn't voicing Immediate opinions.

"Nnnngh yeah. 'm Hungry..." He begrudgingly sits up and rubs at his eyes. His hair's an absolute mess but he hasn't worried about that yet.

"How long are you staying for?" Hopeful, even though he suspects it isn't time to sweep the man up into his team yet.

[the_other_dellamorte]

Reaching for Jim, Illario's fingers stroke through his messy hair, smoothing some of it and making it fall back into the way Jim has it—or at least an approximation of that.

It's good to see him so content. He's still sleepy, but he's warm and safe. The hollow darkness under his eyes is not quite so bad, but it will take a few weeks of good sleep to ease completely. Gods, he wants that for Jim. He wants it more than he knows how to say in words.

He kisses his love gently, a soft brush of lips, and lets his half-lidded eyes rest on the other man. Illario doesn't have his makeup, skin care products, or hairbrush; he is just here, all angles. But he still feels beautiful when Jim looks at him like that.

"They didn't tell me. So I suppose I am here as long as you want me."

[smartass_captain]

It's sweet how well Illario knows Jim's habits by now, despite them having not had the opportunity to share a rest with the other more than a handful of times. He wonders how long he was under observation before that while out in the field. At least in Antiva. Probably Tevinter also. Strangely, he doesn't find the thought disconcerting. He finds it comforting. Illario wouldn't hurt him.

Jim knows that.

This beautiful man who has followed Jim into a hell of the life expectancy of a Warden. Someone Jim cannot bear to lose.

"Well I'd never give you back...if that was th'case. I'll have to check with Evka in a day or so. I want you here helping us. You belong here with me. With Lucanis, if you want to make up with him."

[the_other_dellamorte]

Illario and he have never had much time together- but what they have had mattered. Illario had always tried to make it linger, when at first Jim was visiting him for Lucanis' peace of mind, Illario wanted to learn all he could about the mysterious Rook. Not as a thorn in his side but as a man, a person. Then, when their romance really began, he tried to do his best to provide what Jim was missing- some luxury, some attention, some rest.

Some things don't change, it seems.

"You don't have to give me back. I could stay. I want to stay." He offers softly, although he appreciates that the decision is beyond Jim's control. Evka will have the final say, and while she seems sweet on them, especially Jim, she may have to put their long history aside and do what is best for the Wardens, now that their numbers are so much smaller.

In the end, Illario supposes he will do what seems right at the time - even if that goes against orders. He has never been all that good at obeying commands, after all.

"Come on, dormiglione. You do need to eat something. And have some coffee. What if I make it for you?"

[smartass_captain]

"Mmmh. I know you do. I want that too." Jim clings a bit to Illario for a moment. Maybe if he agrees to send Illario and Davrin (and himself) to the wetlands on mission more often to ease the burden of their patrol schedule. Brings more supplies. Something. Anything. There has to be more Jim can do. "But we owe them and they're....they're friends too. Gotta keep our allies safe."

He knows that. But it doesn't make letting go of Illario any easier. Jim just wants to be selfish. He sighs and sits up when he's urged to.

"That sounds good. I'd crawl outta bed onto broken glass for some coffee right about now."

[the_other_dellamorte]

"I think you would do that for coffee at any time, amore mio." Illario teases, and even as Jim sits up, he doesn't try to move him, doesn't hurry him along any further, just lets the man adjust to wakefulness at his own pace.

"I have an idea of what supplies might be most needed, not just by the Wardens but the people in the village. We can take them there," if I have to go back is unspoken, but perhaps the slight hesitation in Illario's speech makes it clear what he was thinking. "But until then, would you be happier if I got up, found us some breakfast, and brought it back here? With coffee? It would give you a little more time to wake up."

[smartass_captain]

Jim smiles a bit wider. He must still be sleepy yet, to be so easily read. But then, it's also true that Illario knows him better than Jim knows himself some days. He nods to the offer.

"No, I'll get up and come with. If you're heading out then I've got no reason to lounge around. I'll do some stretches and check over my letters while you figure out breakfast." Nothing that would be overdoing it. A small attempt to not jump out of the gate now he's slept and right back into the fray.

"I'd like to take stock of who's here at the lighthouse at the moment. Where everyone is on their tasks. Give you an idea of what life looks like here." See if Illario even wants to do this kind of work.

[the_other_dellamorte]

"I prefer cooking when there's something to look at." He teases when Jim suggests doing his stretches, and with a final firm kiss to Jim's mouth, Illario gets up. He's still in some of his clothes from Lavendel, and while he has brought a small pack woth him, there wasn't much in the way of clothes in it.

On a job, he's used to wearing the same clothes a couple of days in a row, going without his beauty regime if he must. As a Warden, he's learnt to go longer, learnt to deal with the fact he's run out of his shampoo. He's hit pan on his highlight. He's running out of kohl. So while he catches a look at himself in the reflection of the aquarium glass, it doesn't make him uncomfortable anymore. He only pauses and puts his hair back up, so no one can play with the long strands but Jim.

"I won't so no. I have a little bit of an idea how you do things but- well. You're no Crow. I'd like to see how it's all organised." He admits, when they're heading out toward the kitchen.

[smartass_captain]

Being here at the Lighthouse will be good for him. A chance for him to interact more closely with the people Rook leads. They need to see the man Illario has become. No longer an enemy, working with Venatori for his own feverish aims. No longer even a Crow with their contracts and shadowy allegiances. Though they aren't his preferred colors Illario wears his warden recruit gear proudly and well. He walks with confidence despite a more modest appearance.

It will do well for Lucanis especially to see him like this. To know what it means to see Illario without his makeup. Sporting even the barest traces of stubble on his handsome jaw. Illario Dellamorte has changed. No one can deny this. And seeing Rook emerge from his room well rested and with the shadows haunting his eyes lessened considerably, can anyone argue it is not for the better?

"Rook. Was beginning to think we'd have to start without you." Neve's commentary isn't as icy as it once was, months back. She seems genuinely relieved to see him up and in good spirits.

"What, and have me miss out on all the fun? I'd bitch at you for weeks if you had." Jim returns, his voice going low for just a moment around a languid roll of his neck and shoulders to pop the joints and relax into the stride of the morning where he follows Illario out.

"Illario and I are going to grab breakfast and then we'll meet up in the main room. Alright? Can you tell the others?"

[the_other_dellamorte]

Illario doesn't entirely feel at home with the others as yet- especially not Neve, as glamorous as she is, make-up perfect, bails painted and beautifully shaped, skin flawless. He feels a little bit self-conscious as Jim speaks to her, keeping a step or two behind his man. It isn't that he doesn't want to work on his relationship with them all, but he isn't washed, he's not dressed.

He's also well aware that Neve will probably still see him as a Venatori blood-magic user.

"Good morning, Ms Gallus." He says softly as they part, giving her a polite nod before letting out a breath and relaxing somewhat as he reaches for Jim's hand, winding their fingers together.

"Doesn't she terrify you?"

[smartass_captain]

"Good morning." Perhaps reacting to his hesitation, Neve chooses not to stick around and chat the sorta-Crow sorta-Warden up for the time being. But she spotted the way he took Jim's hand for comfort. That part seems to be genuine. Interesting.

"Who, Neve?" Jim turns and glances over his shoulder at the mage retreating while they make for the double doors leading to outside. "You get used to her. And ah. If you haven't been outside here yet. Stick close to me. I had vertigo for about a week after we first got here..."

Jim shoves open the doors and brings Illario out into the open Fade where the Lighthouse grounds spill out. The rock feels steady underfoot, but by all appearances they're Very High Up no matter what edge one looks out over.

"I can point out where everyone's staying on the way."

[the_other_dellamorte]

Not having to chat is a relief. He could perhaps have managed it with Taash or Harding, or the professor. They seem more inclined to forgive him, because he's good for Jim, or at least he makes Jim sleep. They probably aren't totally trusting of him yet, and that's good. Sensible. But Neve? Davrin? Lucanis? He dreads having to face them, especially when he doesn't have any of his usual shields to hide behind.

"I don't think she wants to get used to me. And I don't blame her..." He murmurs, as they get closer to the doors. Whatever he's expecting isn't this, the buildings around the ruined courtyard, the giant Fen'harel statue, the crowd of buildings surrounding the ruined cobbled courtyard. The buildings surrounding the courtyard that just... float. As does the little island with a tree on it. And a greenhouse. And-

"We are in the Fade, aren't we?" He murmurs, staying close to Jim despite the urge to go look at the edge, just to see what might be down there.

[smartass_captain]

"Don't be too quick to judge. She's got some...interesting. Allies. Back in Tevinter." Jim claps Illario on the arm and then leaves it there to lead the man off gently. There's a vicious, selfish part of him that says it doesn't matter what the others think. But Jim knows he has to be reasonable. He's got hope that the others will understand that the former Crow has changed.

Just like Lucanis wanted when he asked Jim to look in on Illario's rehabilitation.

He slows when he can feel Illario lagging. Just stands next to him to offer support. Andraste knows he certainly felt unsteady up here the first couple of times he went outside. Until he got used to all of this.

"Yeah. Sure are. A stable section of it though. This is...was? Solas' old safe house."

[the_other_dellamorte]

Illario seems about to make some comment about allies being entirely different to obvious enemies, but he doesn't get a chance with the courtyard revealled to him and the revelation of where they actually are.

There's a soft curse in Antivan, and while he stays close to Jim, he isn't overly frightened. He does turn, looking back up at the main Lighthouse building, the gold glittering in the light, the spinning, turning tower absolutely incredible- and he is well used to Minrathous' floating buildings.

"Its incredible." He says, looking back to Jim and then glancing towards the nearest edge, the one by the path towards what looks like a greenhouse. He steps towards the edge, sure-footed as a cat, and peers over the edge.

"Cavolo sacro di Andraste- there is nothing down there, is there?"

[smartass_captain]

"Right? You're handling this better than I did." Jim says with a slow grin. His vertigo had been so bad he'd had to sit down on the steps with his head between his legs for a little while there. It took weeks before he stopped getting dizzy every time he came out. And now that it's passed? Jim loves strolling out here. There's such a sense of majesty and peace he can't get anywhere back in Thedas.

As if they'd jumped out into the stars themselves and found a little home just for themselves. Not that time ever appears to move much in there.

"Neve theorizes there might be something down there. Emmerich says that Down may be subjective...but the collective opinion is to not throw anything to test it lest we end up raining a stone on some unsuspecting sod halfway across Thedas by accident. Or ourselves. Bellara mentioned that might be possible if the space was cyclical."