Iowa Bros in Space! The Spacening. Starring James T Kirk and Clinton Barton

[smartass_captain]

Fighting with Verity had done something for Jim despite all the vitriolic feeling swimming around his system. It had made him determined to go home. It wasn't as though he couldn't anymore. He knew exactly where the doorway leading back to the Enterprise stood. It was just...making himself open the door. Jim stands in the long hallway lined with doors to other worlds, staring intently at the 'Caution: Radiation risk' etched into the glass of his world's door. Shaking fingers reached for it, to push it open. Retracted.

He couldn't do this. No, bullshit. He was Jim Kirk, he could open a stupid door. Just. Not at the moment. Apparently. Jim shouts a string of fluent Orion curses at the door before stalking back off into the Nexus. To the plain door with the sideways 8 on it that leads to CLint's world. He pulls up a chair and waits. Clint would come sooner or later. He'd ask him to come with. Been meaning to show him around the ship anyway, might as well do it now.

Why couldn't his time have comms anyway? Jim smacks the back of his head against the wall while he waits, idly replaying the argument between himself and Verity in his head. What better way to kill time than to hate yourself?

Comments

[aw_hawkguy]

Clint's time has comms--they're called "phones." Clint... admittedly, has one on his wall. But his Avengers ID is also a communicator, so there's that.

Either way, he finds Jim on his way back home to change out of his relaxing-time pants (he's still sporting an abundance of bandages from the demon fight). "Hey, you're up."

[smartass_captain]

How utterly primitive, thinks the man who's comm literally operates like an old flip phone. And only as a comm instead of a computer and twenty other functions.

"And you look a hell of a lot less good than I remember you being." JIm gets a guilty flicker in his eyes before letting his head hit the wall again. One more thing to feel shitty over.

"IN the mood for a field trip?"

[aw_hawkguy]

"I've been worse," Clint counters cheerfully, possibly enjoying a mild painkiller buzz at the moment. "I was really worried about you there, for a while."

Clint's really bad about inflicting shitty feels on his friends (just ask them), so he jumps at the change of subject. "Field trip? Sure! Where we going? Should I get my bow?"

[smartass_captain]

"I didn't say anything weird...did I?" JIm hardly remembers what happened that got him out of the fight. Just a lot of pain and blood. And being terrified of losing Clint to demons. He thought for sure he remembered Iowa. But that very well bight have been his mind going into shock.

"...I..." Jim struggles for words for a moment. "I...haven't been back. Since. I got you guys gifts and that was it. Once I came back I couldn't get the nerve to do it again." He sighs, scrubbing his hand through his sandy hair. "I've been bumming around here. On couches. Someone told me I should either ask about moving back in with you and your brother....or asking for help to get home. And you sure as shit don't need another guy to look after on top of your family, that Kate girl, and the goddamn world....and I don't want to be a bother. So I want you t'come with me to mine."

There would have to be a lot of explaining, and Jim will get there. This is the what, and that's enough for the moment.

[aw_hawkguy]

"Nah, nothin' too bad." When someone's bleeding out, nothing they say is weird. You don't hold it against them, it's a rule.

"Okay, first off, y'wouldn't be a bother. Ever. I've got a whole building, remember? So don't worry about that. Mi casa, su casa, anytime. But I'm also totally up for seein' your place. So: should I get my bow?"

[smartass_captain]

That is a good rule to have. Jim appreciates this rule. He'd be beyond mortified if he knew he'd been freaking out thinking his brother was there.

"...So, 'shut up and stop being dumb, Kirk'." Jim arches an eyebrow and sighs, shaking his head. "Nah, shouldn't need the bow. Might want to change into a clean set of clothes though. Say hi t'Barney for me if he's in."

"Go for casual, nonthreatening. My crew over reacts sometimes."

[aw_hawkguy]

"Nah, just remember y'got friends," Clint assures him. "Casual. I can do casual. Be right back."

He steps through the door and, true to his word returns a few minutes later, cleaned up, in slacks and a decent tee-shirt (how many black with a purple chevron does he have?). "Awright, let's rock."

He orders them in bulk

[smartass_captain]

"...Heh." Friends, huh. 'Why did I go back for you?' One talk he didn't need to have with Clint. And that was reassuring in a lot of ways. Jim's on his feet fiddling with his PADD when Clint gets back.

It's quite a hike from Clint's door to the ominous hallway of forgotten portal doorways Schon had led Jim to ages ago. For as casual as Jim is trying to be, he seems to get more and more nervous the longer they walk.

"Okay so. Couple of ground rules. Do not tell anyone who asks how we get in and out of the ship." Jim's got one hand behind his neck. He looks a little clammy. "They can't know. Door's not...not in a great spot." The hallway comes into view and Jim actually falters, his face tightening up.

"I..uh.uhm." Rules. Jim, come on.m It's a fucking door, it's not going to bite you. He grits his teeth and starts down the hallway.

As hard as he is on his clothes, he has to.

[aw_hawkguy]

"Okay. Someone asks how the intruder got in, I say, 'in t'ru da window,'" he promises. After a beat, he adds, "you okay, man? You're not lookin' so hot."

He needs to get a Starfleet issue replicator. 3dprint his clothes and food at the same time!

[smartass_captain]

"You asked me once. Why I didn't bring anyone from the ship back. Prove to them I'd been here." Jim stops and points.

There's an inset grey door along the left wall, glass covering its face. Jim doesn't need to get closer to see the word 'DANGER' printed along it's bottom third, or the biohazard sign above it. The controls are nowhere to be seen. One has to step up and into the door, as was customary on a ship. In small letters, easily overlooked along its bottom:

AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY RADIATION HAZARD

He looks back at Clint.

"It's not dangerous because of the door. " He swallows. Hard. "It's where I died. If they knew....I can't make them relive that. Hell, I don't even want to b here. But I gotta get over it sometime, right?"

And they'd taste about the same!

[aw_hawkguy]

"Oh." Clint's eyebrows make a bid to join his hairline. "Oh. Aw, hell. Yeah, if I had to step through a fire every time, I'd prob'ly never go back, either. We gotta find some other way."

Looking to Jim, Clint claps the captain on the shoulder. "You're not alone this time, though, and you're not gonna die. You're gonna get through this. An' every time you do, it'll be a little better. I gotta tell you, sometime, a story about a guy down in a hole."

Sad but true facts about the future.

[smartass_captain]

Jim shrugs. And then Clint's patting him on the shoulder. It's such a simple gesture, but one that makes his hands steady just a bit. He doesn't need the fancy potion Schon gave him the first time. He can do this.

He's motherfucking James Tiberius Kirk. He saves goddamn worlds while he's dead. A door is not going to win, not today. It helps that Clint is there when Jim steps up to the doorway and presses his hand against the glass.

SWSSSSH

No alarms going off. No burning from the inside out. Just a maze of jeffries tubes, a swatch of consoles, and the constant hum of the Enterprise's engines underneath their feet.

Jim wastes no time getting the fuck away from that radiation blast door though. Fuck that door and fuck the warp core. He has this shaky grin on his face, as though they just kicked a Klingon in the dick and ran.

"Alright. Here we go. Home sweet home." He gestures around them, stopping when he sees a tiny alien peering down at them from atop a tube. "Goddammit Keenser! Don't make me get Scotty!" It's a space ship not a godforsaken playground.

When shirts and meals come out of the same spout, it's inevitable. The answer? Make delicious shirts

[aw_hawkguy]

Clint keeps pace with Jim the whole way. They've got this. Whatever it is, they'll get through it. (Someone more on-point about metaphors than Clint might observe that "getting through it" is the very purpose of a doorway.)

"Love what you've done with the place," Clint quips, because he's a superhero, and quips are how superheroes diffuse stressful situations. Glancing up to the perching alien, he smiles and gives a little wave. "In t'ru da window. How 'bout that?"

That costs too much. The Federation opted for shirt flavored food.

[smartass_captain]

"If he tells anyone, it'll be Scotty. And if I'm honest, he can probably deal with it. If not now, then after a few shots of scotch." Jim sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"Okay. All we need to do is get to the transporter room without being stopped and harassed by anyone."

"Captain."

"Hi Spock. Alright. We got this. Come on Cl..." Beat. Turn around. "Spock?"

"I'm having a troubling time discerning why the ships on board sensors were unable to locate you for the last several hours, and only now reported that you were here in engineering."

"Aren't you and Bones supposed to be on planet?"

"Are you not supposed to be off duty resting in your quarters?"

"Who's the captain here?!"

"Considering you are off duty, Captain. I am." The Vulcan turns to Clint abruptly. "Who is this?"

[aw_hawkguy]

"Clint Barton," Earth's Scruffiest Hero replies, before going on to laconically point out, "and, y'know, he's still the captain, even when he's off-duty." Clint's smile is the sort that most people want to smack, a trollface with band-aids. "Just sayin'."

[smartass_captain]

Jim face palms as the Vulcan's nostrils flare just slightly and he opens his mouth. This was off to a swimming start. He appreciates the bro-code from Clint, but having an argument with his first officer isn't exactly how Jim planned his first visit to go.

"Spock." Jim cuts him off. Gives him a pointed look. The one with the raised eyebrows and everything. Show off them baby blues, Jim. "I am off duty. I don't need to sit in bed like a kid, okay? And Clint's a guest. A favor from an old friend off Zeta IV. Beamed him aboard a bit ago, giving him a tour. You have the con. I'm just playing tour guide while I'm off duty."

"..." If Clint didn't know any better, he'd think that Jim's first officer was sizing him up. Or threatening him. Without so much as opening his mouth. "Captain, this is an unregulated activity and a breach of Starfleet regulation 3--"

"I'll take responsibility, Commander. Go on, the bridge needs you. Especially if I'm not going to be there." It would be illogical to point out to the uninvited guest of the captain's that Spock has full capability and intention of keeping an eye on him while he's on the ship. So he doesn't. Clint gets the impression anyway.

Jim sags visibly when he's gone.

"Okay so. That's my first officer. He's..." JIm shrugs weakly. "He means well? We're friends, even though it doesn't seem like it."

[aw_hawkguy]

"I've known a few guys like that," Clint admits. Apparently he also knows a little about how to deal with guys like that. "It takes a special kind'a friendship, right? So, what's next?"

*Jim Kirk's last words

[smartass_captain]

"Well, that sort of killed my 'give a leisurely tour through the ship' plan." Jim pinches the bridge of his nose and starts heading up a set of stairs toward out of Engineering. "If Bones finds out I'm down here he'll blow a fuse."

It really is starting to seem like the crew is overly protective of their Captain. And they are with good reason. Sure, it's something Jim takes pride in and finds comforting about 80 percent of the time when he's not trying to actually do something and getting regulation quoted at him at every turn. And a security detail assigned to him to go take a leak.

Seriously, what could possibly go wrong?*

"So! New plan. We're gonna head to transport, beam ourselves to the first Federation neutral spaceport we can find and soak in the sights!" This means booze, women, and having your matter obliterated and reassembled. Jim claps Clint on the shoulder heartily and starts toward the turbo lifts.

At least he seems to be more peppy after seeing his first officer.

"Bridge on the captain." -Will Shatner

[aw_hawkguy]

"Weren't you on a deep space mission, or something?" Clint asks, a little puzzled. "You can just zap home?" Still, he falls into step because hey, how often do you get to hang out in space?

[smartass_captain]

"Started. Ended up getting sucked into a diplomatic thing between a couple planets and the Federation, sent us to Starbase Cetna Phi to drop off a diplomat. Bones and Spock are sitting this one for me, which I can't say I mind. I frickin hate politics." Jim shrugs as they head through the hallways.

Everyone's in similar uniforms. Reds, yellows, blues. Hard to figure out who's who. There's also a hell of a lot of aliens Clint has no way of defining that Jim doesn't seem to find strange whatsoever.

"Just because we're slotted for deep space doesn't mean we don't get jerked around by bureaucracy whenever it's convenient for the brass."

[aw_hawkguy]

"Aw, yeah, I know how that can go."

Clint's been to space in the Marvel U before. If anything surprises him about the diversity of aliens, it's that no one is trying to invade Earth at the moment. He's friendly, though, flashing smiles and murmuring greetings as they go.

"Remind me to tell you about Henry Peter Gyrich sometime. He'd either wanna kiss your first officer, or lock 'im up for not being human."

[smartass_captain]

No one's trying to invade Earth, unless you count taking over the club scene with their takes on decor and music. Then it's debatable.

Clint is getting a lot of strange looks, but that may be because a civilian is on the ship.
Being with the captain stops any unwanted questions, at least. Jim snorts and glances over his shoulder.

"Why's that? Also, he's half human. Also also, his girlfriend would kill that guy if he kissed or locked Spock up."

[aw_hawkguy]

"Eh, the guy's a jerk. Hates people with powers, got to be the Avengers' government liaison. Basically, he likes t'tie people up with rules, and too bad if you're just trying to do something decent. Most of the time, he swings around a little more authority than he's actually got, kinda like your 'not the captain' guy back there."

Clint gets strange "what are you doing here" looks all the time, he doesn't mind.

"He actually forced Captain America to retire, one time."

[smartass_captain]

"Haha, Spocks not a jerk. Not on purpose. He does the rules and regs thing mmmostly to piss me off, though he'll never admit it. He's just trying to look out for me. He has to make a token objection, I have to tell him noted but I'm ignoring you. That sort of thing. We make a pretty great team." Jim sounds oddly proud. Clint should have seen them before they worked out this combo thing.

They fought a lot.

"How the hell does someone force Captain America to retire? Give the country to fucking Russia?" Jim shakes his head. They're at a quieter end of the ship by now, and Jim stops in front of a door and keys in his code. Decidedly not the transport room, unless that was supposed to be a really obscure innuendo for something. It's Jim's quarters. He's already throwing his regulation uniform shirt on the floor as he digs through some civilian clothing to wear. A black shirt and his trusty leather jacket soon are donned.

"Fuck, Barton. We could practically be siblings, now." Jim snorts and claps him on the arm as he leads him down to transport. The ensign on duty chokes slightly when he sees it's the captain. He immediately stops staring at Clint and looks back down at his console.

"Coordinates 2.18.15.19 ensign." Jim hops up on the platform and motions for Clint to stand on one of the other marked spots. "Try to hold still, okay?" He adds Clint's way.

[aw_hawkguy]

"Huh. Fair enough, that sounds like a lotta teams I know."

Clint chuckles at the Russia thing. "It's a long story." They've got a walk, though. "See, the serum that made Cap all strong was breaking down, gonna kill 'im, and he actually convinced a guy who's normally on the other side'a the law to help him out, fix it. Thing is, while he was under, the guy snuck some state secrets outta Cap's head. Gyrich was convinced that Cap'd turned traitor, had him deported. Man, did he have egg on his face when it was all over."

Clint grins at the siblings crack, putting in, "hey, brothers full'a trouble, I know how to deal with."

Stepping onto the transporter pad, Clint looks around. "Oh, cool, space teleport thing? Got it." And he'll hold still. He's seen teleport accidents.