Shedding Light Part 1 - What Haunts Us Still [TW for Body Horror]

((OOC Note: Part of the Shedding Light series, the preview of which can be read Here from one of the Wronged Party's Points of View. Set a few months back at this point.

Content Warning for this whole series for upsetting imagery, trauma, and body horror. This is gonna be about the consequences of necromancy so you have been warned.))



Sleep hasn't come easily for months.

Not when a cold so much more potent than the biting chill of the mountains poisons Jim Kirk's every subconscious thought. Sometimes it's Harrowheart bloating and rotting in his armor the weaker his enchantments became, plundering the life of the forest they traveled through for any precious minutes of sanity he could buy. Sometimes Isidor's hateful words and bitter tears knife at him while she brandishes magic powerful enough to move mountains, her hand on the Runeblade. He and Stratos crying together in their bedrolls. Sometimes Felix is strangling him, or standing above him with his familiar bristling while it all but foams at the muzzle. Smoke filling Jim's lungs while a demon wearing his brother's smile presses a hefty gem soaked in the blood of mortals just like him into his shaking hands while whispering about the one way to bring Felix back. Sometimes it's Rielle itself with its gaping maw of fetid dark energy that made the living tremble to stand amid its ruins, the letters addressed to Jim or Stratos in all their feverish disarray trying to explain the madness Felix succumbed to in these crumbling walls.

Jim's fought more undead in his dreams than could possibly exist. Has been pulled under into murky algae-thick waters by rotting hands with splintered mails as rasping noises filled his ears and teeth sunk into his flesh. He's been chased down by shambling horrors that should never have been made, but were. How could Felix have made these? How could all of this Wrongness been the brainchild of the man Jim loves so much? Felix must have personally mutilated those bodies before magic allowed him to rearrange the pieces into the monstrosities they faced down amid the sinkholes and collapsed stairs deep within the ruin. So far away from even a hint of daylight.

It comes back to them every time. The Runeblades are at fault for this. Harrowheart's cursed soul repository that sought for themselves a new wielder. They tried to take Felix, they infected him with their madness, THEY TRIED AND FAILED TO CLAIM HIM. The metallic hiss of his name echoes throughout the stoneworks of Rielle.

"James...."

He sometimes thinks he can see glowing eyes following his every move even after Jim wakes before the dream has bled away back into his subconscious completely once more.

If it were just for himself, Captain Kirk wouldn't say anything. He'd suffer through his panic attacks, his night terrors, his PTSD induced nausea and then get up from the floor come Alpha shift and pretend to be a whole man again. He talks to Leonard first. Gets himself something to help him sleep. Jim won't agree to therapy but he can't fall to pieces every night with Felix at his side. He's not the only one with nightmares, either. Even on nights Jim is otherwise fine he'll be woken to curl close and ease Felix through his own remembered terrors. Jim can't give his husband reason to try to leave him behind again once the mage is well. The captain won't let himself be driven away again no matter how much he sometimes wants to grab Felix and demand answers he knows the man cannot give.

So he does what he can.

He's at Felix's side when the man gets his bandages off for good. Comes along for the initial trip to Bruma to go reassure their Uncle and Brother that the treatment Dr. McCoy provided won't be lacking in any magical area. To be support when both men inevitably have their chance to speak to Felix's actions going back to Rielle. Jim does his best to be a good husband. Dutiful. He's there to quietly offer up that Felix chose this foolhardy path in order to spare Stratos or himself from having to face that place again....

Jim's there because he has to be. (Part 2 is here!)

Shedding Light Part 3 - Demons in the Dark [Ongoing Post with conjuredskies]

((OOC Note: Content warnings for trauma, body horror, and upsetting imagery still apply. Necromancy and its consequences are a hell of a thing. Link to Part 2 in the opener if you missed it!))



It feels like months ago they made their plan, and all the while time slips by.

Jim doesn't intend to let this problem linger and yet it's so easy for the weeks to pile up. First they wait for Felix to heal. He's adamant that he must go with to help set things to rights. Stratos insists they at least write to Mathieu to let him know this will be handled. To perhaps appease the college that the mage is doing what he can to get that stolen property returned....

But Stratos and Jim are both men with large responsibilities. They delay when the Tribune must travel for a summit dealing with political tension and new orders in Skyrim. They delay again when quarterly reviews and a minor ion storm throw the Enterprise-A into strained disarray. All the while a man's future hangs in the balance back on Nirn.

The New Year is a quiet one. They celebrate their anniversary, Jim reluctantly agrees to speak over subspace transmissions for a Remembrance Day ceremony held over his birthday. He ignores any more transmissions from his own mother for the time being. It would be easy to go on forever like this. Better for Felix, Jim, and probably Stratos to let Rielle fade until it was nothing more than a nightmare once more. But they can't run forever. Jim Kirk, at least, wouldn't be able to forgive himself. When Stratos sends word that he's back to business at his camp in Skyrim, Jim leaves Alpha shift with his teeth grit.

When he comes back to their quarters it won't be to enjoy a well deserved quiet evening. He'll need to hunt down his husband in the botany labs so they can both get dressed for a trip back home to Bruma.

There's preparations to be done first.

Jim makes sure Tiber's well fed and freshly watered before he sits down at his desk to force down a turkey sandwich he's procured from the replicator. By now Jim's aware of this cycle to know he needs to eat before they start talking about that godforsaken place hidden away in the mountains of Cyrodiil. If he waits there's a good chance he won't have an appetite for a day or more. Being sick and shaky from hunger but unable to eat because of ravaging nausea isn't going to help anyone. Taking a basic and mostly tasteless meal with a strong cup of coffee is easy enough even if Jim's already forcing himself to eat. He might be sick, later. But he'll definitely be less useful if he doesn't at least try to shore himself up ahead of this.

A shift spent mostly on paperwork means the captain doesn't strictly need to clean up but a quick sonic and a change of clothes Feels better. Feels like Jim's in control. In his routine. He shoves their uniforms to one side of the closet once he's changed, revealing the large trunk nestled in the very back hidden mostly from sight. He fishes the key for it from the usual hiding place before squatting down to turn the heavy lock. Lift the solid oaken lid up to reveal the carefully hidden clothing of Felix's world. Jim's careful not to rumple all of their clothes as he fishes out travel wear for both himself and Felix to lay out on their bed ready to change into once Jim brings his husband back to their quarters. All the while anxiety prickles at the edges of his thoughts. Jim slows his breathing purposefully every time he catches himself. He's taking too long to prepare, they shouldn't leave Stratos waiting. What if Felix isn't up for going? What if...

Tiber bunts his head against Jim's leg with a deliberately loud purr until the captain reaches over to give the kneazle a few strokes. "You be good and maybe I'll bring you along to see Stratos later." Jim hasn't missed how fond the Tribune is of the animal, magical or not. He needs to get a move on for now though. Tiber hops up on the desk to watch his bonded turn to the terminal inset next to the door. The kneazle's eyes blow wide, his tail twitching eagerly as the human kicks aside a hollow torchbug thorax when making his way over. Jim doesn't pay the chittery noises behind him any mind as he runs a scan to locate Felix. The Deck-2 labs are usually reserved for Spock's current projects and other Federation-requested testing of samples they collect, so Jim's not terribly surprised to find Felix on Deck-3's smaller botany lab.

"Seems he hasn't charmed Spock into granting him access to the larger labs after all that talk the other day..." Not even the current task can drain all the fondness from Jim's voice. It's easier to focus on his husband of the night before, idly complaining about the issue the head of the Science Division took with his lab findings write up. Helps his hands stay steady. "Don't let Felix leave if I somehow miss him and he beats me back here." Jim comments over his shoulder to the kneazle before excusing himself from their quarters and making his way down to the turbolifts.