Jim Kirk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
smartass_captain) wrote2018-01-01 11:18 am
smartass_captain) wrote2018-01-01 11:18 am
Entry tags:
Going Dark [The Beginning]
This is Captain James T. Kirk. We have docked at Starfleet Outpost Yorktown. Once all mission logs, current shifts, and assignments have been completed you are permitted off ship and off duty on leave until we receive our next assignment. Please keep your personal devices with you at all times in case of an emergency. Enjoy your break, everyone.
You've earned it. Kirk out.
With the alpha crew busy getting everything squared away on the bridge before they head out into the base proper, Jim sits down at his desk in his quarters and looks over his most recent log. He can hear the sleep deprivation in his voice. The strained veneer of calmness that stretches over his barely held together psyche.
It's New Years Day in the Nexus. Jim's been off the map there for two months now. The messages to his PINpoint have all been answered dutifully, though they're becoming less and less frequent. With the peace talks falling through spelling a failure in his last month's worth of work Jim almost feels like his absence from the Nexus is pointless. An excuse.
Why would he go back if he knows he's going to leave? Starfleet forwarded him their recommendation for promotion again just before Bones caught him drinking on his own. This time, instead of ignoring it, he signed his name on the application and sent it back to the fleet. There's no place for him in the Nexus just like there's no place for him on the ship. His entire career in Starfleet has been one chasing the shadow of George Kirk and now that he's emerged from that shadow a year older than his father ever got to see what does he have to show for it?
A career built on a dare? There's no longer any steps for Jim to follow in. There's no longer a place for him in his father's old position. He may as well accept the promotion and move on just like he always has. Jim submits his captain's log and gets up from his desk for what will be the last time. He leaves his PINpoint in the drawer and heads back to the bridge to head down to the base with the rest of his alpha crew.
---- Twelve Hours Later ----
To anyone attempting to leave a message with Jim on his PINpoint, they will only receive an error message in reply.
Unable to connect to specified frequency. PINpoint coordinates do not exist. Retry to send your message?
((Please feel free to try and send Jim messages anyway and reach out to each other if you'd like in the comments here. This is an open post, however Jim will not be able to reply so you will be interacting with each other.))
You've earned it. Kirk out.
With the alpha crew busy getting everything squared away on the bridge before they head out into the base proper, Jim sits down at his desk in his quarters and looks over his most recent log. He can hear the sleep deprivation in his voice. The strained veneer of calmness that stretches over his barely held together psyche.
It's New Years Day in the Nexus. Jim's been off the map there for two months now. The messages to his PINpoint have all been answered dutifully, though they're becoming less and less frequent. With the peace talks falling through spelling a failure in his last month's worth of work Jim almost feels like his absence from the Nexus is pointless. An excuse.
Why would he go back if he knows he's going to leave? Starfleet forwarded him their recommendation for promotion again just before Bones caught him drinking on his own. This time, instead of ignoring it, he signed his name on the application and sent it back to the fleet. There's no place for him in the Nexus just like there's no place for him on the ship. His entire career in Starfleet has been one chasing the shadow of George Kirk and now that he's emerged from that shadow a year older than his father ever got to see what does he have to show for it?
A career built on a dare? There's no longer any steps for Jim to follow in. There's no longer a place for him in his father's old position. He may as well accept the promotion and move on just like he always has. Jim submits his captain's log and gets up from his desk for what will be the last time. He leaves his PINpoint in the drawer and heads back to the bridge to head down to the base with the rest of his alpha crew.
---- Twelve Hours Later ----
To anyone attempting to leave a message with Jim on his PINpoint, they will only receive an error message in reply.
Unable to connect to specified frequency. PINpoint coordinates do not exist. Retry to send your message?
((Please feel free to try and send Jim messages anyway and reach out to each other if you'd like in the comments here. This is an open post, however Jim will not be able to reply so you will be interacting with each other.))
no subject
Hi, Jim. I hate to bother you, but have you tried to get in touch with your alternate lately? I'm getting an error message on my PINpoint and it's worrying me.
If anyone knows where Jim is, it's another Jim. At least, that's the logic Adia is using.
no subject
Jim reads the message, now more than ever aware that there will be others who are missing the other captain, others who are left twisting in the wind like himself, with no answers and nowhere left to turn.
Screw his annual birthday blues. Something horrible may have happened, and if there's anything - anything - that he can do to start finding out what it was, and whether there's anything he can do about it, he has to try.
I got the same error message. Do you have any contact information for his crew? Jim is pretty sure the other captain had mentioned Bones and Spock having PINpoints, anyway. Only a handful, but it's more than exist in his own universe, as far as he's aware.
no subject
And what an error message it is. Coordinates do not exist. It gives her a horrible suspicion as to what might be the cause behind it.
I think something may have happened to his ship. And his PINpoint. Which is a problem. How is Jim going to get in touch with anyone to let them know he's okay? And if he's not okay, how are any of them going to find him to help?
Do you know of any other way to get to his world? A portal, or other coordinates?
no subject
He rewrites his next message several times, erasing too-personal details, fumbling attempts to describe what the door to the warp core even looks like, realizing that he can't trust anyone else to recognize it. Not from a secondhand description, and certainly nowhere he'd want anyone going unprepared.
There's a door in the Nexus. I don't know where it is. But I'd know it if I saw it.
no subject
Do you think you can help me look for it? There's an area near the Plaza where portals usually congregate.
I know it's a long shot, but Jim has done so much for me. I want to at least try.
no subject
Of course. Meet you there?
If they can coordinate their efforts, they can cover more ground. It's an impossible task, but Jim has done the impossible before. He can't give up at the first hurdle.
no subject
Sure. I'm in the Plaza, by the vending machines.
And when Jim arrives, that's where he'll find her. She's dressed for the winter weather and has a cup of coffee. (From one of the vending machines, out of habit. Don't tell Caspar!) If she spots Jim, she'll wave him over hurriedly. There's one street full of portals that she's anxious to look through first.
no subject
He doesn't smile when he sees her, but he does nod in greeting. "Right. We're looking for a glass door." It's not actually glass, but it's the closest thing he knows she'd recognize, and time may be of the essence. "It has a... radiation symbol on it," he adds, a slight waver in his voice, one that he swiftly quashes. He can't think about it, not now. He doesn't know if her people use the same iconography as the Federation, so he has to be absolutely sure they're on the same page. "Looks sort of like a three-bladed fan disk."
no subject
She sips her coffee while Jim explains what sort of door to look for. The mention of a radiation symbol gets a brief look of surprise from her. Is that because of actual radiation, or is it some sort of decoy to turn away any nosy Nexus explorers? "We use that symbol, too," she says quietly, when he's done speaking. "I think I'll be able to spot it on our own, but... let's stay within visual range? That way we won't waste time if one of us finds it."
Having already lost one Jim, she doesn't want to lose another.
no subject
no subject
With another sip of her coffee for fortitude, she gestures towards a nearby street that winds its way from the heart of the Plaza. "There are a lot of portals along that stretch. Should we each work a side and call out if we find anything?"
no subject
"I'll take the left side."
no subject
"Sure." Left or right, it doesn't matter to her. She heads in that direction and efficiently begins checking on each portal that she passes. Some are tricky to identify, as they look identical to doors that lead to Nexus shops and homes, but her time in the Nexus has given her a feel for what makes a portal different from a regular door. A certain vibe that's been calling out more strongly to her ever since the Nightmare incident.
She's very good about staying in sight, although occasionally she needs to duck into an alley to double-check something. Some of the portals are stable and well-trafficked. Some give off a welcoming aura, and those she avoids like the plague. Any portal that encourages people to enter is a dangerous one, so far as she's concerned. Some portals waver like mirages, as if any moment they might blink out of existence.
But so far, no glass door with a radiation symbol.
no subject
What the plan will be if - when - they find it, well, he's still working on that.
He has a good long while to think on it though, traveling up and down the rows upon rows of streets, periodically checking to make sure Adia is still in sight, staying out in the open himself so she can track him too. Once or twice, he catches sight of a particularly reflective doorway, and his head snaps around to look at it more closely. But it's never the right one, never that deceptively simple portal into one of his own personal hells.
In an infinite Nexus, with infinite doors, Jim had not expected to find one specific portal so easily. And as time wears on, and the door continues to elude the seekers, it becomes more and more clear that this is going to be a bigger search than he'd hoped.
no subject
When she finally walks over to Jim, it is clear by the crestfallen expression on her face that she not found anything substantial. "I need to go home," she says sadly, her gaze turned down in apology. "There are some lab results I have to check on, and I was supposed to help Maggie with dinner. She'll know something's off if Caspar makes up excuses where I've gone..."
She feels terrible. This search was her idea in the first place, she didn't have to drag Jim into it. He has enough on his plate without having to worry about his alternate, too.
no subject
No, he does not think any less of her for calling it a day. And while he nods a little in agreement, his own time to spend here becoming more limited by the minute, there's a small spark in his eye that wasn't there before today, a smoldering ember waiting to be rekindled. Something he'd lost sight of after the Nightmare that had damn near swallowed him whole, slowly rising from the darkness and uncertainty that has weighed him down ever since.
Determination.
There comes a time when you have to fall back and regroup, to take a rest and resupply before setting out again. It's not surrender and it's not a retreat. It's taking a step back to breathe, before you start again. There is no such thing as a no-win scenario. Never has been. This is no different. It doesn't matter how long the search takes. It doesn't matter if it's all for nothing, if they find out that the other captain didn't make it, if they're too late to make a difference. At least they'll know. At least they tried.
He can't turn his back on this. He won't.
"It's getting late for me too. I'll come back tomorrow, pick up where we left off." He doesn't ask if she can return too, reading that guilt on her face, hardly wanting to add to that weight. He'll understand if she can't. But he'll gladly welcome any help she can give, another person to help shoulder the task, leaving the offer unspoken, open-ended, a silent question. Even if not tomorrow, even if her own responsibilities keep her from devoting so much time to such a massive search. Jim may not be able to either. But he'll keep trying when he can. As long as it takes to get an answer.
no subject
This is the Jim she remembers. The kind of Captain who never gives up on his crew, who knows that taking a break is not the same as giving up. It's the same strength she's seen in her own world, the strength that pulled her people through near extinction and into a new home and a new peace.
Standing a little straighter, she replies, "Me too." If he's not about to quit looking for Jim's portal, then neither is she. She'll keep at it for as long as it takes, or until she has a better answer for what happened.
no subject
"Then I'll see you around tomorrow," he says, touching two fingers to his brow in a sloppy salute.
no subject
Her PINpoint is already in her hand, so there's no need to wait. She takes a good look around, noting where she left off her search. There's no guarantee that the landmarks will remain stable, but it gives her a general sense of where in the Nexus she is. "Good luck, Jim. And thanks for coming."
She teleports back to her cabin on Atlantis, determined to return when she can and resume her search. Or get some answers, whichever comes first.