Growing Shadows (open thread, tagging boldygoing for sure)

[smartass_captain]

George Kirk is a Starfleet legend for the Federation. A hero to his crew. A good husband and father to his family, or so Jim Kirk has always been told.

The shadow he cast even in death swallowed Jim up before he was even old enough to understand why his mother cried whenever he smiled a certain way. Refused to look at him or even come back to Earth more than she had to while he was young. He tried to fight it, rebel against it. Baring his teeth. Willing to become the antithesis of George Kirk so long as it meant someone would see him. Anyone. It didn't matter who.

To a young James Kirk even being labeled a criminal was better than being labeled as George Kirk's Son.

Pike ruined all of that. Drug Jim right back into that shadow and told him to embrace it. Encompass it. Dared him to be better. An impossible challenge surely. Every struggle Jim waded through made in the gloom of a reputation he could never hope to live up to. When he finally came out the other side and stepped into the light again a year older than his father ever got to be he was lost. His own accomplishments and reputation stood on their own merit but to what end?

"Dammit, I thought I was past all of this."

Thought he'd moved on since arriving in Yorktown. Found a place all his own that he belonged, no matter what George's reputation was. It turns out self awareness can only go so far. Meeting a Norse God who wears your old man's face isn't the sort of thing he'd been prepared for. He has a pile of ignored PINpoint messages staring accusingly up at him from the screen. Jim's been ignoring people for the last few days since his run in with Thor in the Nexus.

Some people are harder to dodge than others, of course. He picks up the device and starts to rifle through everything he's missed.

Comments

[smartass_captain]

"My old man didn't talk like you do. Nor did he have your kind of stature." No doubt the Kelvin tragedy would have gone a lot differently if his father had been some kind of God. It's such a ridiculous thought that Jim has to swallow a laugh. It wouldn't be one of humor so much as hysteria and James T. Kirk is stronger than this. Than the ghosts standing in front of him who are and are not important to him.

"Like I said, it's not your fault. I'm just--?!" Jim takes back the data pad with a furrow of his eyebrows but whatever he was saying dries up when Loki reveals himself. He doesn't drop the device but it's a near thing. He's seen this kind of magic before. Felix's brother is a strong wielder of it but never has Jim seen an illusion done so easily as though it cost Loki nothing more than a breath to command and discard at a moment's notice.

"I..." What the fuck. "What the Fuck?"

It's a good thing he's already sitting down.

[coldsong]

"Well, naturally you find it unsettling. That's no one's fault," he says, and watches the Captain's reaction to his change.

He'd be lying if he tried to pretend he wasn't looking for surprise, if he denied (at least to himself) that the stammer amuses him. He wasn't looking to make the man swoon or go into shock, though, and he'd rather not make him an enemy. So while there's a flicker of unmistakable laughter in his eyes, and his lips twitch briefly, he's quick to school his expression to something more neutral.

"I'm a shapeshifter," he says. "I suppose I didn't get around to mentioning that. Thor is not, however, so his uncanny resemblance to your father is not his doing, nor is it mine. Do you need a glass of water?"

[smartass_captain]

"You're a..." Easy Jim. Best not let your mouth run off making threats you can't back up to a god. His flash of anger is more thanks to do with his already shot nerves and shock more than it is real rage. Jim Kirk shakes his head and looks down at the table for a moment. At least, when he looks up again Loki is still Loki for now.

"Let me get this straight. You jacked my personal information, pretended to be your brother, called me out here, casually threatened my fleet and her people....all to get a better gauge on whether or not I would be a threat to a fucking God?"

The offer for water is kind but Jim's got his coffee and he's going to help himself to it and probably drain the rest of it while he tries to stand back metaphorically and see all the pieces on the chessboard of this whole debacle. Tries to understand the capricious whilms of a god.

"I don't know whether I'm impressed by your dedication to him or if I want to punch you. Which wouldn't do me any good and that is not helping."

[coldsong]

"Indeed." There is almost no word that Jim could finish that sentence with that Loki hasn't heard directed at him before now, and he takes the aborted insult calmly. This is actually the part of a prank he likes best: the outrage of the victim. Not that this was just a prank; there is more at stake here than a laugh, or, as the case may be, a momentary psychological breakdown.

"That's more or less the size of it," he admits, leaning back in his chair again. "There are many forces at work in my world. I had to know if you were associated with any that were likely to come around and bite us in the collective arse."

That might be paranoia. "For what it's worth, the threat of piracy was merely a red herring. The Statesman is, as far as I can tell, a solid enough craft to get her people from one point in space to the next." And even if not, that's a moot point.

There's a flicker of something more grim in his eyes for a moment.

"I'd rather you didn't punch me, but there's no call to be impressed, either. This is what I do. This is what I am."

NOTHING TO SEE HERE MOVE ALONG

[smartass_captain]

Jim sets aside his empty mug and takes a long, deep breath. He'd been set to be annoyed. Even angry at this turn of events. And then the god had to go and keep talking.

This is what I do, this is what I am.

Would Jim not do whatever he could to protect his crew? Moreover, would Felix not do these things to protect Stratos' interests? Hasn't he already? It doesn't make a lot of sense for a God to be so worried about a single mortal but maybe the Gods have more to fear from ordinary humans in Loki's world than on Nirn. His own world, godless as it is, gives Jim nothing to compare any of this to.

"I'm not going to punch you. It'd be an asshole thing to do and since you're a god what good would it do even if I did, except potentially piss you off and make an enemy out of a man I can't even begin to understand the dangers of?" The captain sighs. Pinches the bridge of his nose where he feels a headache building just behind his eyes.

"You had reason to doubt me, and no one's been hurt because of this. I've got no reason to be mad."

[coldsong]

Oh, he has every right to be angry! Loki wasn't about to apologize, but he also wasn't inclined to dispute that Jim has reason to be annoyed, either. He's rather impressed, in fact, by how well he's handling the incident. Despite how rattled he must be, he seems to be maintaining his calm, even considering Loki's point of view.

That, combined with his earlier advice to 'Thor' to have faith in his little brother is almost touching. This is, he thinks, a man worth keeping a friendly eye on, assuming he hasn't yet infuriated him beyond forging an alliance.

"For the record, anything with a corporeal form can be punched, gods included. Just a bit of advice, should it ever come up in your future. The only question is whether the god will take more harm from it, or your fist." He's pretty sure Jane Foster came away with bruises from when she slapped him, but she did knock his head to one side. He's not immune.

"You have every reason to be angry, but it won't do either of us any good at this point," he further points out. "The question is do you prefer I explain your aversion to my brother and encourage him to give you your space, or would you rather I said nothing?"

[smartass_captain]

"Yeah but the last Better-than-human I punched turned to solid ice and royally fucked me up when I tried. Unlike some people, I can learn from my mistakes." Not a jab at anyone in particular, just a simple statement of fact. The more gods and god-like entities Jim Kirk meets the more he has come to school his temper and his tongue as best as he can. It causes more harm than good to treat them like any other person more often than not.

It's a little bit satisfying to hear Loki admit Jim's got reason to be mad. Seems like the guy isn't incapable of understanding things form a human's point of view. That's...possibly a good thing? Too soon to tell.

"If the whole space and ship thing ever becomes an issue, let me know, by the way. That was a real offer." He's no mage or god but science and engineering are things he's pretty good at. In this place full of extraordinary people it pays dividends to have a niche to fill. That and it's an excuse not to answer the last question immediately. Gives Jim a moment to think.

"No don't...don't bother him about it. It's no fault of his and I'll get used to it eventually. Was the shock more than anything that hit hard." He doesn't like it, but he's dealt with worse.

[coldsong]

"Solid ice, truly?" Loki frowns thoughtfully. "That's a form I stay away from, personally. Was that in the Nexus?"

If there are Frost Giants around, he might need to know about that. It could have been in Kirk's own world, though, he supposes, knowing little about it.

His frown softens at the offer, dissolving into something more like a weary smile. "I will pass that information along to Thor. Unfortunately, I will be unable to keep an eye on our ship in the world I come from. It...actually, I suspect it has been destroyed, but I dare to hope there were some survivors." Thor included, he hopes. It would be very like Thanos to slay one brother and deliberately leave the other alive. He was obsessed with equilibrium.

"But it was destroyed under enemy fire, not through any engineering fault. I would not request weaponry from another dimension. It's not my place, for one, and for another I suspect even the best firepower the multiverse has to offer would only buy a little time. Some battles cannot be won by fighting."

His own coffee cup is now empty, and he looks into it as if he can't decide whether he wants a refill or not. His fingers tap the edge of the cup idly, and he hums under his breath. "If you're quite sure. I'm not sure how my brother would react to the resemblance, now that I think of it. It might disturb him, as well. Or he might shrug it off as he does so many odd coincidences."

"For whatever it's worth, I am not unimpressed by your diplomacy." Something sly creeps back into his smile again. "Would you like one of these croissants? I cannot possibly finish them all."

[smartass_captain]

Captain Kirk gives a nod of confirmation.

"Reynard North's the resident winter spirit of the Nexus. He gets some pretty special powers during the season but he also becomes kind of a fickle asshole round that time. I've learned to try and stay on his good side." They're friends the rest of the year, but it's difficult to deal with him during Winter.

Talking about the potential destruction of Loki's ship and his people is disheartening and a reminder for Jim to keep a careful watch on things getting into his world from the Nexus. After the potentially catastrophic situations they've already faced the last thing anyone need sis another power-drunk despot.

"If he gets worried about it, you can tell him I guess. I'll try not to give him reason to though. No promises on my...oh. Right. So, uh. There's actually two of me in the Nexus. He doesn't know about Thor yet." Three, actually, but Jim doesn't know about his older self and it's probably for the best he doesn't right now. This is enough to keep sorted."We look the same, but he grew out a beard for differentiating himself so it's kind of hard to miss him. I'll have to warn him."

[coldsong]

"Reynard North," Loki repeats thoughtfully. "A bit on the nose, but a suitable name, I suppose. And he becomes solid ice in the winter?"

He's not sure if that means this is someone he ought to introduce himself to or someone he ought to avoid at all costs. A Jotun ought to get along well enough with a winter spirit, except Loki very much prefers to be in charge of as much of his surroundings as possible. And if he is as irascible as Kirk suggests, there is no question Loki will annoy him. He routinely upsets even the pleasant and sweet-tempered.

Maybe he'd better see what Harley knows of this spirit.

He takes the news of Jim's alternate without a blink. It's not a surprise, in a multiversal Nexus, although it's sort of interesting that the two of them get along. "I would recommend that, yes. My brother is terminally friendly, and sometimes he misses some subtle nuances of social interaction. He would not be deliberately unkind, though. He is a well-meaning oaf."

Whereas Loki deliberately ignores subtle nuances of social interaction whenever it suits him, and has rarely been described as well-meaning.

[smartass_captain]

"He doesn't have to, that's just a thing he can do if he wants to mess with people. Like say, if someone decides to hit him for whatever reason." Even if he deserves it. Especially if he deserves it. Means he always gets to have the final say in any altercation. Jim's learned his lesson handily and would like his body to remain intact this year.

"My counterpart's about two years in my past though some things are different between us. I'm sure I can't enforce this request, but I"d appreciate it if you didn't tell him anything you find out about me. We're trying not to fuck his timeline over too badly." He'll have to warn his bearded companion about Thor as soon as he's done here. Better not to wait on this kind of a scare.

Jim's picking at one of the pastries offered his way. They're good but he's not really hungry even despite not actually sitting face to face with Thor again. Getting used to the coincidence is going to take some time. The implications of it still settle on old, deep wounds.

"He seemed like a pretty decent guy. Are all gods 'a bit arrogant' or is that just human perception?"

[coldsong]

A Winter spirit that can turn into solid ice to mess with people. Loki feels vaguely put-out now. He should have thought of that schtick himself, damn. Well, that settles it. Whether he should speak to this North or not, he's bloody well going to, if the opportunity arises.

"So much can happen in two years," he murmurs his understanding. "I will do my best to comply with your request."

He wouldn't want anyone telling a younger alternate of him all the madness that lies in store for him. He absolutely understands. However, being a god of mischief, he can't promise anything. Still, what he can and has offered is a good faith effort. Unless a good reason comes along, he won't betray any secrets to the other Kirk. Besides, there are always better pranks to be played.

Loki chuckles at the question. Was that a backhanded comment, or just a statement of fact? "I do not know all gods," he says. "But I would venture to say arrogance runs in my family, on Father's side."

[smartass_captain]

It's a fair answer. Jim's not expecting miracles nor other people to care about time paradoxes and branching multiverses as much as he and his counterpart do. Either way, it satisfies Kirk just fine. For all of his schemes and posturing there's an awful lot about Loki to like so far as Jim can see.

A big part of that is his projecting his own assumptions based on similarities he finds in the god to people he knows but that's hardly Loki's fault.

"Then yeah, he seems like a pretty decent guy, arrogance aside. And I imagine it gets pretty easy to be arrogant when you're statistically stronger than 99% of the people around you, even if you don't mean it." One doesn't need physical strength to be arrogant, of course. Jim's been accused of it himself and he's quite used to being one of the physically weakest in any given room.

[coldsong]

"He has mellowed somewhat, in recent years," Loki tells him. "He was raised as a warrior amongst warriors, the eldest prince of an ancient race of divinities, the heir to his father's immense power. His enthusiasm for battle was never discouraged, and it grew untempered for far too long."

"By most measures, his mistakes and transgressions are lesser than mine, but without intervention, he might have become the monster I am accused of being. And that would be a tragedy." An ambiguous statement. Almost like Loki's taking credit for doing bad things so Thor didn't have to. Light can't exist without Darkness, after all. Or can it?

"But no. Now he is a friend to mortals and a shepherd to his people, and that is fitting." He takes a bite of the pastry he's been playing with, savoring it quietly, and picks the crumbs up off the table, fastidious as a cat.

"I appreciate your attempt to give me the benefit of the doubt, by the way. I will not forget that."