Slinking past fetid corpses walking again in the dark and cold of that hideout of his. Finding Felix and seeing just how much the magic had changed him. Putting down his bow and drawing out his phaser. Not a night goes by that hasn't left Jim waking and trembling to every horrific what if. If they'd come too late. If the magic hadn't worked properly. If Jim had become just one more soul lost in the gem or the blades to sate their hunger.
Until tonight.
Jim still doesn't know it's only been one night. How could it be when he and his younger companion spent enough time on Tarsus IV to be left weeks starving? Bloody, spent, and desperate while they marched through that hell? Only to leave it and find another one. The blood underneath Jim's nails isn't his own. It's Kodos' and Felix's. The phantom that died in his arms before vanishing. The monster responsible for his fate on Tarsus who warped into Khan just to taunt them for willingly taking a life.
And Felix still thinks Jim is too good for him? The blood under his nails stares back accusingly. He didn't need a murderous set of swords to drag him under and change him into a monster. Tarsus IV did it for him years ago. The words drag from his mouth like rotting teeth, each one poison and a hurt but needing to go.
"I killed him. We...we killed him and felt nothing. Decided to much longer before that. Only thing that kept us alive...in..in that hell. Starving and thirsty." His hands shake again but Jim has no strength left. He speaks those words to the darkness and doesn't fight the tears that slip down his face now freely. There is no sob. No wrack in his breath. Just a quiet exhausted acceptance of the reality he's in now.
Felix is alive here, Jim reminds himself. It will have to be enough.
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Slinking past fetid corpses walking again in the dark and cold of that hideout of his. Finding Felix and seeing just how much the magic had changed him. Putting down his bow and drawing out his phaser. Not a night goes by that hasn't left Jim waking and trembling to every horrific what if. If they'd come too late. If the magic hadn't worked properly. If Jim had become just one more soul lost in the gem or the blades to sate their hunger.
Until tonight.
Jim still doesn't know it's only been one night. How could it be when he and his younger companion spent enough time on Tarsus IV to be left weeks starving? Bloody, spent, and desperate while they marched through that hell? Only to leave it and find another one. The blood underneath Jim's nails isn't his own. It's Kodos' and Felix's. The phantom that died in his arms before vanishing. The monster responsible for his fate on Tarsus who warped into Khan just to taunt them for willingly taking a life.
And Felix still thinks Jim is too good for him? The blood under his nails stares back accusingly. He didn't need a murderous set of swords to drag him under and change him into a monster. Tarsus IV did it for him years ago. The words drag from his mouth like rotting teeth, each one poison and a hurt but needing to go.
"I killed him. We...we killed him and felt nothing. Decided to much longer before that. Only thing that kept us alive...in..in that hell. Starving and thirsty." His hands shake again but Jim has no strength left. He speaks those words to the darkness and doesn't fight the tears that slip down his face now freely. There is no sob. No wrack in his breath. Just a quiet exhausted acceptance of the reality he's in now.
Felix is alive here, Jim reminds himself. It will have to be enough.
"I'll always look....at you."