smartass_captain | The First Annual Adopted Family Thanksgiving

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The First Annual Adopted Family Thanksgiving

It's not that Jim forgot about the second present he gave Verity way back a month ago on her birthday. How could he forget, when he'd had to dig out the key to the house to get it replicated? It's sat out on his desk in his quarters every day since, a bold reminder that Jim Kirk was seriously doing this.

Jim Kirk was going to try to have a normal family. A family who celebrated (some) holidays. A family who came together. Not a relationship. Hell no. But...you know..siblings? A family? He almost worried Sam or his mother would try to reach out to him. Thankfully no such messages yet. Which means Jim is free to spend time with the people he actually wants in his life.

And that means getting Thanksgiving put together.

He'll call Clint later. First things first. Calling Big Sister.

"Verity? It's Jim. You busy?"

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She nods as well. "Okay. We'll do that. I got out what I found in the kitchen, lined it up on the counter. We can move whatever else we find in there. There are decorations somewhere?"

You're thinking too narrowly, Clint. Now if you took a leaf blower and--you know what? Maybe just No is easier. If he and Jim are left alone, Verity will come back to the house being some kind of Transformer whose sole purpose is to flick off police officers, shoot arrows, and hit on women. Somehow.

Maybe don't let them out of sight in the candy aisle, either. Wait, that was literal, not 'sporting goods store' secret code. Should be fine then. Can you use Twizzlers pull and peels as a bowstring?

"Uhhhh yeah. There should be a box of generic holiday stuff upstairs somewhere. In one of the spare rooms or the attic. And I know we have a vacuum and some other stuff...uh...Verity want to start a list while I look for appliances and Clint checks for decorations?"

It's probably better not to think about what Clint can use as a bowstring. He is entirely too resourceful for his own good.

"On it!" He's also fairly enthusiastic, and already heading upstairs to poke around.

She'd rather the house stay where it is. It's nicely situated and the garden really bring out its figure.

"Sure thing." Verity will sit on the stairs and pull out her phone. Oh, notes app, how we love you. "So how long are we staying? You keep mentioning bedrooms, are you planning a sleepover? Or are we just calling dibs right now? Because I should warn you, my room's going to be purple."

That should surprise exactly nobody. Clint the least: he remembers the all-purple all-the-time apartment.

"Hey Clint, anything special you want for Thanksgiving dinner?"

"Just...in general. Its your guys' home now too. So. My rooms the one next to th'bathroom, but there's two more bedrooms and an extra room that could be made into a bedroom that's just storage right now.

In case neither of them wants Sam's or his folks' room. They can get new stuff if they like. Not like his mother or Sam are ever likely to come home again. Well, his Ma might when she retires, but Jim could care less.

He's following Clint upstairs, giving Verity one last shrug when he hears her ask Clint a question the other probably isn't going to hear in his enthusiasm. "I'll ask him Ver!"

"Cornbread," Clint calls from upstairs, "and cornbread stuffing!" Beat. "Please!" That's better.

It's a few moments after Clint finds the way up to the attic that he gives another yell, and something else gives a loud chitter. Thumps and thuds punctuate his tumble back down the stairs, an irate raccoon giving him what-for. "Gah! I knew I shoulda brought my bow!"

They'll make this a proper home again, slowly but surely. Family dinners, fresh paint, a safe place to come and relax, a haven when they're hurting...

First things first. Turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, cornbread stuffing, green bean casserole, carrots, cornbread, rolls, pumpkin pie, apple pie. No nuts, no shellfish, no strawberries. Easy.

It's going to be a long list since she's starting from scratch to stock the kitchen. Each recipe ingredient list is copied down, item by item, and then consolidated. They can chase that thing in the attic for quite a while before she comes to investigate because this is going to take a while.

Wait.

"...Clint? What was that?"

"Would you shut up about your goddamned bow?!" Jim's kicking at something, trying to stay between Clint and it and fumbling in his pack. "When I said 'don't bring your bow' I didn't think you'd fuck up house cleaning, Clint."

Something clatters to the floor and Jim swears quite loudly in a language neither of them have heard before.

"Shit, stun it, stun it! Get the fucking phaser before it claws your face off!"

"Yeah, this is me. I put a raccoon in your house just so I could fall down the stairs. Behold my master plan," Clint grumbles, trying to fend off the critter with one arm and crawling for the phaser with his other and his hip.

Siiiigh.

"Do I need to get Groot? He's great at racoons."

Yeah she's not going up there. She's a city girl. What is she even going to do with a racoon?

"Why isn't it running away. Did you step on it's motherfucking baby?!" Jim's only mostly successfully keeping the raccoon at bay from Clint, though when he hears Verity he shouts toward downstairs.

"Get a goddamned broom or something! This fucker is pissed!"

"Man, I hope not. I do think I knocked over its house, though. Damn, is it paying you rent?"

Getting ahold of the phaser, Clint realizes he has no idea how to operate it safely, and very little time to look it over while fending off the raccoon. "Aw, how's this work?"

"You guys shoot the racoon and I'm coming after you with the broom." She is so helpful.

Oh, no, wait, here comes some real advice. "Just leave it alone for a while. Let it calm down. We can deal with it later."

"No one's going to kill the raccoon, Jesus!" Jim bends down and grabs the phaser from Clint before that sentence turns into a lie. With the phaser safely on stun (stun is the blue light Clint, red is kill), they can knock it out long enough to carry it outside without everyone in the nearest mile getting rabies. Or whatever future mutated version of rabies exists in Jim's time.

Still kind of weird when the thing just flops over like that.

"Didn't bite you, did it? Emergency room visits over the holidays...how like us, huh?" Jim's scooping the critter up in one arm and helping Clint up with the other. "Get the door for me, I'll take him out to the barn. It'll be safe there till he wakes up."

"Iiii... don't think so?" Clint is checking himself over, now that the raccoon is subdued. "A few scratches, looks like, bumps and bruises, but I think I'm okay. Little guy's kinda cute like that."

A thought. "Maybe he smelled my dog?"

She still thinks they should have let her call Groot. But now that it sounds like the fight is over she'll get up and come upstairs to see what happened. "Okay, how many tetanus shots are we going to need to get?"

"What? None. You didn't slip on anything rusty did you Clint?" Jim didn't think there was anything like that sticking out. He didn't look like he was bleeding. "Should get some ointment on those cuts just to be sure though. Hope your rabies booster is up to date." Though he's an Avenger. His everything is probably mandatory.

"Just need to move this little guy before he comes to in a couple minutes here."

"Just the stairs," Clint answers. "I should be good, on shots. Way I'm in'n'outta hospitals. Didn't I just get one from your doctor guy the other time?"

"Knowing you two, you've probably contracted the Spanish flu or something."

This nearby box will be ceremoniously emptied by being dumped on the floor and then pushed at Jim. "You, deal with that. Clint, let's go find a first aid kit."

"I try not to keep up with all the shit Bones has inoculated me against. Actually I try to avoid being in the medbay at all times, if I'm being honest." Of course, the way his luck runs, that still means he's in there all the time.

"Have fun, first aid kit should be in the downstairs bathroom." Jim adjusts his new little friend in the box and heads out to the barn.

"Thanks." Clint makes his way for the downstairs bathroom, and Verity's welcome to join him if she wants. "Man, I hope it's not Spanish flu, my Spanish is terrible. I can barely buy tacos." He grins, placing an imaginary order, "Uno gringo stupido con pesos, por favor."

"Thanks, Jim."

Verity will come with, in case he needs help. Or a chaperone. Possibly both. "I just wait until someone else orders something that looks tasty and then I point to that."

No she doesn't, you know better.

"The magic of Denny's," he muses, rummaging for the first aid kit. "Hey, d'you think they've still got Denny's now? Or, like, restaurants?"

"Something like that," she agrees, turning on the tap to get the hot water running. Poor primitive bastards don't have magic instant unlimited hot water here do they? "I'm sure they have restaurants. I hope they've evolved past Denny's."

"Fair enough." Nexus living is spoiling Verity something fierce. First aid kit found, Clint gets to washing his scratches. "Ah! Damn, stings."

No, Clint x infinity

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Autohouse: transform and screw up! http://i.imgur.com/iAQyY0p.gif

Aw man, I was gonna use that pic! :(

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Post on ahead without me for a bit, busy evening and Jim's offscreen.

Right-o.

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