The First Annual Adopted Family Thanksgiving

[smartass_captain]

It's not that Jim forgot about the second present he gave Verity way back a month ago on her birthday. How could he forget, when he'd had to dig out the key to the house to get it replicated? It's sat out on his desk in his quarters every day since, a bold reminder that Jim Kirk was seriously doing this.

Jim Kirk was going to try to have a normal family. A family who celebrated (some) holidays. A family who came together. Not a relationship. Hell no. But...you know..siblings? A family? He almost worried Sam or his mother would try to reach out to him. Thankfully no such messages yet. Which means Jim is free to spend time with the people he actually wants in his life.

And that means getting Thanksgiving put together.

He'll call Clint later. First things first. Calling Big Sister.

"Verity? It's Jim. You busy?"

Comments

[smartass_captain]

The front door clatters loudly as Jim kicks it open (he didn't bother to lock up when they pointed out), bags of shopping in each arm.

"--because, Clint, there's more to life than leftover pizza and Dog Cops. And Verity shot down my idea too, so quit complaining." Oh family, they're getting along fantastically, but Verity wouldn't let them binge on junk food. Woe is the boys upon return.

Admittedly, Jim's idea was several bottles of wine, whiskey, and schnapps and was probably a bad idea. He needs to stop associating gatherings with blacking out drunk.

[aw_hawkguy]

"I'm not saying we do that for Thanksgiving dinner," Clint protests. "Just, like, later. Sometime." Clint piled up on bags, determined to take as much as he could in a single trip. It may not have been the best idea, but since when do "Barton" and "the best idea" go together?

[brave_heart_verity]

Oh yes, how dare she want them to still be hungry enough to enjoy the food she's going to spend an entire day preparing for them? How selfish of her.

If they keep this up, she might leave them to the junk food.

She's carrying a reasonable number of bags and also a box full of the more fragile things. They may not care, but this is important to her, and damn it, she's going to enjoy having a home to decorate and a family to feed until they're stuffed. Even if she has to hogtie and gag them both from now until the turkey's done.

"You guys can watch all the Dog Cops you want, so long as you turn it off for the meal." Isn't she generous? "But we're not having leftover pizza as an appetizer, and we're not going to get so drunk we don't remember the day. Let's at least wait until we know for certain it's going to suck before breaking out our bad coping mechanisms?"

She's not waiting for an answer. There's groceries to put away, so she's headed for the kitchen.

[smartass_captain]

"If he figures out how to get it on the vid screen downstairs he probably will." Jim shakes his head. "Good luck trying to hook a dvd player up to that thing, though." Who's to say Clint doesn't have it downloaded onto his phone for long Avengers meetings and trips though?

He'll follow Verity into the kitchen and set the bags down on the table.

"So....what do you want us to do? Since I assume you'll be commandeering the kitchen form now until....whenever?"

[aw_hawkguy]

"I thought we were cleaning," Clint puts in, peering over his armload of bags in search of somewhere to put them. If someone would like him to just hold still while they take bags one at a time, that'd be fine, too. "Verity cooks, we clean?"

[brave_heart_verity]

"Dust first, then vacuum. I'll sort out the kitchen and get started on dinner for tonight." She looks over the bags and boxes already set down, then start unburying Clint. "Then uncover the furniture and put the clothes in for a washing. I'm assuming there's a washer and dryer around here somewhere? Oh, and Jim, call your neighbor, please, and let her know you've got some friends who're staying in the house when they're in the area, so she doesn't freak out if we run into her."

[smartass_captain]

"She knows." Jim calls from the hallway. "She's the one who suggested I get the copies of the keys made." The thing about subspace transmissions is you really have to think ahead of time. Luckily this has been in the works for a long time. Jim really can be thoughtful, on occasion.

"Hell, we should have made a bet and had the loser clean in the Hawkskirt." More showy than a maid outfit and doubly embarrassing for some of them! Jim grabs the telescopic pole and starts shimmying the cobwebs off to dust. Though rags and elbow grease will do in a pinch.

The vacuum could have been the great grandchild of a Roomba, once Jim plugs the transmitter in it's content to burble along behind him and vacuum after him as he goes. And then go follow Clint around some. And then bump into a wall because adorableness is programmable, apparently. Or it just hasn't been used in a long time. It's sensors aren't as sharp as they used to be. This is an old model.

[aw_hawkguy]

"Man, why would you want to clean in that?" Clint asks, trying not to trip over the vacuum as he dusts. "Aw, that thing's cute."

[brave_heart_verity]

"I thought we burned that."

There's a great deal of something going on in the kitchen. Best not to ask.

[smartass_captain]

"Are you kidding?! I laundered it and returned it and the bow/arrows to Clint after the party. That outfit got me laid, Verity. It is a fine piece of tailoring. And if you ever consider throwing it away Clint....Don't. My ass look fucking phenomenal in that thing. I have eye witness testimony."

Just about everyone who saw Jim tumble could attest to this, but Jim's as per usual selective retelling is a marvel in and of itself. Watching his ego work is like watching art that makes you want to punch it occasionally. Baby Brother Jim being himself.

"So..." Jim drops his voice--then remembers this may be a flawed plan and tucks his duster under one arm to get Clint's attention.

So, guess what I found in the barn?

[aw_hawkguy]

"You had it for one night! I wore that thing in the seventies and I couldn't get that kind'a action."

Clint raises a brow, and signs back, the raccoon mafia?

"Better not to have it here, though. If Verity had to put up with a lotta Hawkbutt, I doubt she'd still make dinner."

[brave_heart_verity]

"You two are terrible and I can still hear you."

If there's a raccoon mafia in the barn, she's inviting them to dinner.

[smartass_captain]

Sam's half-restored hover bike. I gave mine away, but his was an old model. He was fixing it up before..."

Jim makes a vague sort of gesture before he finishes.

Before he bailed and ran away.

"We're cleaning! You never said we had to do it quietly!" The work still takes a while, but with Auto-Vacuum bot following obediently behind them, they can make fairly short work of all the dusting.

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--2tey4kbw--/foqrgvghcufqevlzjivs.jpg

[aw_hawkguy]

Hover bike, huh? Wonder if it's anything like my old sky-cycle. We could take a look, if you like, maybe tinker with it some?

Clint doesn't want to tread on sensitive lost-family feelings here. Also, a raccoon mafia would be awesome.

"Maybe we could ask Roomba-guy here to turn up the volume, drown us out for you?"

[brave_heart_verity]

"If you two are going to continue your weird homoerotic sibling bonding, would you mind if I put on some music?"

Whatever she's doing in there it's starting to smell good. There's bacon and onion smells.

[smartass_captain]

I have no idea what a sky-cycle is, but damn are you hard to impress with toys like that. Could be fun, we should go take a look after we get the place cleaned up.

Plus, how surprised would Verity be if he and Clint could fix something instead of causing trouble and give her a fun ride as a thank you for all her hard work? They are planning a public service here. Way better than watching football.

Jim leans his head into the kitchen and smirks as Verity is working away at some sort of preparations or another.

"After we've lifted the drop cloths I'm gonna open some windows and air the place out. Might get a bit cool in here, so just a heads up. Where do you want us to start putting the decorations you bought?"

Jim spies an open grocery bag on the counter and peers into it. Bag of apples. Oh man. Verity hasn't turned around yet. Does he have time to snag one up?

[aw_hawkguy]

All in the name. It's like a motorcycle, but it flies. Also, no wheels.

If Jim and Clint could fix something, they might need to use the sky-cycle to fly Verity to the hospital for the heart attack she'd get from the surprise. Fortunately, they'd have just fixed it.

[brave_heart_verity]

Oh no! Jim can see something green and vegetable-ish in the skillet. Where did all the bacon go?

"You're that much done already?" She's impressed. They must have been more focused than she thought. "Thanks for the warning. Why don't you set the table then wash up, and we can decorate after we eat?"

She has no doubt they can fix things. Just like B. S. Johnson. She's looking forward to all that unwritten mail.

[smartass_captain]

Hopefully in with the green stuff in the skillet--Southern style. Jim likes vegetables well enough. Truthfully he's easy to please as replicator-food is his standard for comparison. Though he has been eating at Nana's a lot.

"Well, vacuuming isn't taking long, so really all we had to do is dust." Verity will meet Roombot at some point. "Sounds good. I'll set the table as soon as we're done." Apple is tempting, but if food is soon coming, he should leave it where it is. Good boy, Jimmy.

"Verity says we should set the table and clean up when we're done dusting." Sorry Clint, Jim did not steal food from the kitchen, or he would share. "Probably for the best, I don't want that raccoon to feel like it has to defend itself again so soon." Later, they will go see.

[aw_hawkguy]

That's okay, food is coming. Clint wouldn't want to spoil his appetite for the stuff he can smell. "Sounds good. I kinda feel like we should make up a plate for the little guy, whaddaya think?"

[brave_heart_verity]

Clever boy, Jim. Yes, the bacon is in with the veg, to make the one more palatable and the other a treasure hunt.

"We're not feeding the racoon. We don't want it coming back in the house."

Long pause. Imagine the sigh.

"Someone look up what racoons can eat."

[smartass_captain]

Jim exchanges a look with Clint. The brothers are victorious once again. And really, they scared and stunned the poor guy. It's a fair idea. Plus, Jim doesn't really mind it living in the barn. No one else is using the damn place.

"Verity it eats trash. They're omnivorous." Pause. Yeah some idiots are looking this up just to be sure. "Fruit, plants, seeds, insects, frogs....so pretty much anything."

Jim holds up a hand for high fives with Clint.

[aw_hawkguy]

Jim will not be left hanging. "That sounds like some fad diets I've heard of," Clint muses. "Or it could be one. The raccoon diet--eat whatever you want, just wash it first."

Maybe after the obligatory battle upon first meeting and the conciliatory gesture, they can move on to the eventual team-up. That's how these things work where Clint is from.

[brave_heart_verity]

"I grew up in the city. How much do you think I know about racoons?" These two farm boys need to remember that their big sis has a whole different life experience. None of this Iowa corn stuff.

Teaming up with a racoon would be easy. They come with masks.

"If we could wash off the calories, we'd really be on to something."

[smartass_captain]

"They don't have animals in central park?" They have talking trees in her world, surely an ordinary raccoon isn't that weird. Jim supposes he didn't see many of them in San Francisco while he was at the academy though.

With the last of the drop cloths pulled off and dumped into the laundry room in a pile, Jim is content to let Roombot do the remainder of the tidying up while he opens up some windows to air the place out and then goes to wash his hands and beat the dust off his clothes so he can set the table.